Chapter
53: Yesterday’s Letter
Syaoran… Syaoran, can you hear
me? Syaoran, I keep repeating your name when I lie awake in the middle of the
night, thinking that maybe you will answer, maybe you can hear me, where ever
you are.
Syaoran… Do you hear my voice?
I am shouting your name in my mind, hoping that you will answer. Syaoran, I
want to see you just one more time…
Just
one last time.
So answer me, Syaoran…
******
It had been a week since Syaoran had gone missing.
At first, Sakura had thought that maybe he had taken off on some trip to clear
his head, or that he had fallen ill—or maybe he was just at home, avoiding her.
Yet, it did not occur to her, not once, that he might be gone for good. The
town was still recuperating from the shock of the plague epidemic, the most
sudden and devastating spread of disease in a generation. It was the first time
so many people had fallen ill simultaneously. It was also the first time she
had feared for people’s lives. There were days that Sakura would take out the
deck of Sakura Cards from her desk drawer and stare at the ugly rodent sprawled
on the face of the newest Sakura Card, the dark force that had cost her so much
to seal. Maybe too much. Only afterwards did Sakura
come to realize how she had brushed nearer to death than she had ever before.
Not when she was battling against any dark force, not when she almost fell of a
cliff during the camping trip, not when she fell into an ice pond, not when she
was fighting against the Phantom did she ever conceive that she was putting her
life on the line. Maybe until now, she had not realized the consequences of
being the Card Mistress, one of the greatest magicians of the new generation.
That was why she was ready to cast away the title now. During this last battle,
she had become aware of so many of her deficiencies as Card Mistress. Some how
the days passed by since Subaru’s funeral—she thought she wouldn’t be able to
go on, but time passed, and she was back to her normal cycle. That was minus
her duties as Card Mistress—she had locked away the Sakura Cards in her desk
drawer at home. Her body had long since recovered—she was on the whole a
healthy girl and there were no physical remnants of her battle against the
Plague, except the uneven skin on her palms from where the diamond stone had
burnt her. The true scars were deeper, in places that could not be seen.
“It’s weird,” Chiharu remarked to Tomoyo, looking
back at Syaoran’s empty seat. “Li-kun never misses this many days of school. Is
he ill?”
Tomoyo shook her head to indicated
that she didn’t know as she gazed at Sakura. Sakura might have seemed fine to
most of her friends, but she could never hide her true state from her best
friend. But Tomoyo felt it in the past days, that Sakura was physically there
in the classroom, but her mind was elsewhere. For the first time since Tomoyo
had learned of Sakura’s special abilities, she had entertained the possibility
that she might truly lose Sakura. In a sense, she felt guilty because up till
now, capturing the Clow Cards, battling against the Dark Ones had almost seemed
like a game to her; but first with the Phantom and then with the Plague, Tomoyo
was beginning to realize this was no child’s play. This was a matter of life
and death, sanity and insanity. It had cost Syaoran all his powers and Sakura
her laughter. It had been over a month since the battle against the Plague, and
not once since then had Tomoyo heard Sakura laugh. And Tomoyo was disturbed to
find that no one else noticed—maybe because there was so little humor or joy in
anything these days. If Syaoran was here, he would notice. He would also notice
that the black uniform blazer and blouse hung looser on Sakura’s frame, and she
let her hair hang loosely around her face these days, instead of pulling it
back into a pretty clip or ribbon as she usually did. It was as if to hide that
her face had lost the joy and innocence in it behind her hair. But Syaoran
wasn’t here. Sakura didn’t even realize that Tomoyo was watching her. Instead,
she stared at her desk without any change of expression even when the classroom
door was yanked open, and Naoko ran into the classroom, out of breath.
“Did you guys hear?” Naoko exclaimed. “Li Syaoran
has left Japan!” The words echoed hollowly in Sakura’s ears.
It was Chiharu who recovered first and exclaimed.
“No way—we have less than a month until graduation!”
“I heard clearly in the staffroom that Li-kun’s
transferred back to Hong Kong!” Naoko stated, panting.
The girls turned to look at Sakura, as if they
expected her to know the story behind Syaoran’s abrupt departure. They were
stunned to see the blank look on Sakura’s face. Sakura, who had barely
recovered from the Plague, thought that nothing could faze her anymore. And it
had not yet sunk into her that Syaoran had truly left—that he had just
disappeared without a word.
“There must have been some family emergency or some
urgent call,” Tomoyo said, resting a gentle on Sakura’s shoulder. Her friend
was trembling, and Tomoyo glanced at Eriol, troubled. By the look in Eriol’s
eyes, she realized that Eriol was as concerned as she was about this unexpected
news. Why—Tomoyo glanced back at Syaoran’s empty seat. Why would Syaoran leave
so suddenly? Besides, he had given up all his powers in order to save Sakura’s
life. Sakura did not know that yet, because Syaoran had sworn them all to
secrecy. There was no way that Syaoran would just leave without letting Sakura
know why—he would not hurt her in such a way. Which meant
that there could really have been some emergency family situation which called
him back to Hong Kong so abruptly; that was the only logical explanation.
“He didn’t say a word to me,” Sakura murmured,
staring at her scratched wooden desk. There was a loud humming in her ear—she did
not know if it was because of the droning of the students or if it was actually
in her mind. “He promised me. He promised to let me know.”
“I’m sure he had a reason,” Tomoyo said, taking her
seat next to Sakura, homeroom about to begin.
Shaking her head, Sakura said, “But he promised.”
She had not forgotten. Syaoran had promised her back in the hospital, when she
was recovering from sealing the Plague, that he would tell her if he were to go
back to Hong Kong. He told her that he was no longer the Chosen One, that he chose to stay. Then, why would he go back to
Hong Kong without any explanation?
Terada-sensei entered the classroom with heavy
steps and cleared his throat. “Good morning class. It is regrettable to say
that our classmate Li Syaoran has had to return to Hong Kong because of a
family situation with graduation less than a month away. Though you will not be
entering high school together with him, let us wish the very best of luck for
our friend. On another note, I know some of you have been concerned about the
absence of another classmate. Chang Eron, as you all know, has been very ill
from the epidemic crisis a few weeks ago, and has been slowly recovering. Chang
Erika has been taking care of him, of course, and let us know
that Eron-kun is doing much better. If all of you want to write a get well
card, I will collect them at the end of homeroom.” Pausing, Terada-sensei
glanced at Rika, who sat in the front row. Rika deliberately looked away.
The buzz among the students caused them to almost miss
the next announcement their homeroom teacher of two years had to make.
“There is one last bit of news I have to tell you.”
Terada-sensei stalled, gazing at his students with a sense of pride mixed with
rue. “I am sad to inform you that I will be transferring away from this school.
It has been a pleasure being your homeroom teacher for many of you for the past
two years—many of you are also familiar faces from Tomoeda Elementary, where I
first began my teaching career. Thank you so much for making my teaching you
students such a great pleasure.”
There was a rare moment of complete silence in the
classroom—nobody had expected this shocking news to come from their much
beloved homeroom teacher.
“What?” Naoko finally uttered, leaping up from her
seat. “Why, Terada-sensei? It’s less than a month left till our graduation! You
can’t just leave us at the end of the school year!”
Terada-sensei’s fists were clenched as he stared
down at the podium. “I’m sorry things worked out this way. Hanamoto-sensei
would be substituting this class until for the remaining month. However, I wish
you the very best of luck on your graduation. You don’t know how proud I am of
all of you.”
“I don’t understand!” Akagi Aki exclaimed, slamming
his fists on his desk. “You have to be at our graduation. You can’t just leave
us—look at our class. Li-kun’s transferred away, the Chang twins have been gone
for a month, Mizuki-kun’s always absent. Not you too,
Terada-sensei. You can’t desert us too.”
The students of class 3-2 glanced around the
classroom, at the empty seats scattered about. Most of the students had been
sickly for the past month and the other was exhausted with examination
studying. Together, the students of that class had gone through a lot over the
past year. The energy from the Star-Crossed days was far lacking, but that
class had a tighter bond than any other class in Seijou High. After all, most
of the students had been in the same class since Tomoeda Elementary days.
Terada-sensei’s eyes glistened as he gazed upon one
student with gray-brown eyes that gazed up at him solemnly from her desk. “I
apologize to all of you.” He bowed to his class then looked up again. “Homeroom
dismissed.” Gathering his books, he slowly walked out of the class.
And Rika sat paralyzed in her chair, gazing at the
empty podium.
“What are you doing?” Chiharu hissed. “Go after
him.”
“I—I can’t,” said Rika.
“What are you talking about? This may be your last
chance to see him!” Chiharu said, yanking Rika by the wrist and forcing her to
stand. “Go now. Go and tell him your feelings! This is your chance!”
Suddenly, Rika looked alert again as she stood up,
knocking her chair back. She ran out of the classroom. A couple of the students
looked up startled at the sudden outburst from the quietest girl in the class.
As Sakura glimpsed Rika’s face, her gentle features overcome with a fierce
determination, Sakura realized that there was an amazing strength in such a
sweet, timid girl. The news of Terada-sensei’s departure almost eclipsed the
news that Syaoran had returned to Hong Kong, because this announcement was
straight in front of her. It was almost a relief to face the most immediate
shock. And Sakura realized by the perplexed expression on Chiharu’s face that
her friend knew something she did not know—could something have happened while
she was confined to the hospital?
Sakura took Chiharu’s sleeve. “Chiharu-chan.
What is going on? Do you know why Terada-sensei’s suddenly leaving?” In a lower
voice, she asked, “Did something happen between Terada-sensei and Rika-chan?”
“Oh Sakura-chan.” Chiharu looked at her friend sorrowfully. “You
were sick and out of school for a while. You missed the whole fiasco.”
“What happened?” Sakura demanded, noting the crease
on Tomoyo’s pale forehead—everyone knew what was going on. At least between her
close group of friends. She supposed because she was ill, they had spared her
from the details.
“They found out,” Chiharu stated.
“Who?”
Sakura asked in frustration. It wasn’t like Chiharu to draw out her sentences
like this.
“The school administration. They found out about Terada-sensei and Rika-chan’s
relationship,” Tomoyo finished off for Chiharu. “It’s been a couple weeks now.”
Sakura blinked. “But how?”
“Who knows? Maybe someone tattled,” Chiharu said
darkly. “Either way, Terada-sensei was told that he has to hand in his
resignation form. They’re trying to cover up the scandal this would cause, you
see. The forbidden relationship between a teacher and a student—if the parents
found out about it, it would cause quite a commotion.”
“So, Rika-chan knew about this?” Sakura asked.
“Well, her parents were called in the by the
principal—she’s been forbidden to meet with Terada-sensei privately. And now
that he’s leaving the school, she’ll never be able to see him,” Chiharu said.
“Why didn’t you guys let me know that Rika-chan was
going through such hard times?” Sakura demanded.
“Sakura-chan, you’ve been through a lot recently
also—I mean, you were in the hospital. We were so worried when we heard you
were in a coma, we couldn’t burden you with all this also,” Chiharu said.
“Besides, Rika-chan wanted to keep things as shushed as possible. Only a few
people know about this—it’s probably because Terada-sensei is the principal’s
nephew, as I’ve heard, that they’re keeping this low key. You know—if the
parents find out if a teacher here had a relationship with a student, there
would be an uproar.”
“Poor Rika-chan,” Sakura murmured. Out of all her
friends, Rika had always been the most mature and gracious, the one who never
let on her troubles or fears, the one who was always
composed and calm. And at this moment, there was nothing she could do for Rika.
Sasaki Rika ran down the hall as she had never run
before. She did not have time to think of what to say to him—all she could
think was that she had to reach him. There he was at the end of the corridor,
tall in a navy blue suit, his hair neatly cropped and his shoulder so broad and
reliable. “Terada-sensei!” she called out.
He stopped for a moment, flinching. He could hear
the footsteps right behind him now, the soft, frail body colliding into him.
“Terada-sensei!” Rika said through tears, throwing her arms around
his waist and burying her head in his back.
“Rika—someone might see us,” he said lowly.
“Don’t leave, Terada-sensei!” Rika sobbed into his
suit. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. Why do you have to leave? Don’t leave.”
“I have to go, Rika. Don’t make this any more
difficult.”
His voice was so curt, so emotionless. Ah, so this is an adult, Rika realized,
her hold on him loosening. “Sensei, three years. Just
in three years, I’ll be able to be with you. I’ll always love you, so please
wait for me. If you can tell me you’ll wait for me, I’ll be able to bear
through this.”
“Rika,” Terada Yoshiyuki said, stepping away from
the girl’s grasp. “I’m many years older than you. In three years, in five
years, in ten years, I don’t know where I’ll be at. Therefore, I cannot make
any promises. And you’re still so young, Rika. There are so many opportunities
for you.
“No!” Rika swallowed hard. “I’ll always love you,
Terada-sensei, and only you.”
“You’re young, beautiful and smart. Don’t waste
your youth waiting for me.” Terada Yoshiyuki found that he could not turn
around to see the girl he had loved. All these years, he had known that their
relationship was a sin, that it was a societal taboo. Yet, he had thought if he
could keep it a secret, if he could wait a couple more years—but it was too
late now for regrets. The school administration had agreed not to expel Sasaki
Rika so long as the teacher at fault left the school permanently. And he was
never to see Rika again. That was her parents’ request. She was crying, and he
could not hold her and let her know that he would always love her. He could not
bind her down like that, because she was still a child. It was wrong of him to
be so selfish. As an adult, he had to let her go. It took all his will to keep
his voice from cracking. “Good bye, Rika. I wish you the best of luck.”
“Terada Yoshiyuki! Wait for me for just three
year!” Rika called out, as Terada-sensei slowly walked out of the school door,
out of her life, just like that. He gave a tiny wave of his hand and a
half-smile before he walked out of the Seijou Junior High school gate, forever.
Rika crumpled down on her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Just three
more years,” she repeated to herself.
But now, there were footsteps behind her as her
three closest friends caught up with her.
“Rika-chan, it’s not your fault. You don’t need to
feel guilty,” Chiharu said, walking up behind her best friend. “He chose to
leave. For your sake.”
“I know,” Rika replied, without looking up. “To protect me. Because he’s an adult.
I wish I can hurry and grow up. It’s like, no matter how much older I get, I can
never attain him, never catch up to him.”
“I’m sorry, Rika-chan,” Sakura said, bending down
and giving her friend a tight hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you while
you were going through all this.”
“It’s not Sakura-chan’s fault,” Rika said, turning
to Sakura and patting her friend’s shoulder. There was an instant bond between
the two like there never had been before, for at that moment, the two girls
realized that they both understood each other’s feelings, for they had both
experienced being parted from a loved one. “Thank you, Sakura-chan.”
Tomoyo walked up behind the three girls, smiling
nostalgically at Rika, Chiharu and Sakura, who were crying and laughing at the
same time. In the chaos of recent events which had reduced Sakura to a shadow
of her former self, Tomoyo had forgotten the true essence of her best friend,
the reason that everyone loved her, for Sakura’s heart was like a bottomless
ocean. Even at this moment when she was hurting so much with Subaru’s death,
the gruesome battle against the Plague, the disappearance of Syaoran and
recovering herself from near-death, Sakura was still able to pour all her heart
into reassuring Rika at that moment.
“I’m all right, guys,” Rika said, wiping the corner
of her eyes with a sleeve. “Just see in three years. I’ll become such a
fantastic woman that Terada-sensei would not be able to turn from me then.”
And watching the strength in Rika to stand up again
after Terada-sensei left her gave Sakura courage to face her own inner demons.
For at that moment, Sakura realized the fierceness of a woman’s heart.
******
In a way, Sakura was relieved that she did not see
Syaoran, because she no longer had the courage to face him—how could she? She
had disobeyed his orders, used the Heal recklessly, put everyone’s life on the
line and lost Subaru. But she always thought that when she was ready, when she
gathered enough strength to face him again, he would be standing there, ready
to accept her. But when she thought she was ready, he was not there. When she
needed a listening ear, he was not by her side to listen. When she wanted to
see him, he was already gone.
It had been a week since Syaoran had gone missing.
And Sakura had not even realized he was gone. Because she didn’t sense that he
was gone. Because she did not look for him. Because
she did not believe he would leave without telling her. It was not until Naoko
came running to the classroom that Monday morning, out of breath with the news
that she had overheard Terada-sensei speaking with the principal that Li
Syaoran had officially transferred, that it truly hit Sakura he had left.
Somehow, she had blundered through the school day—all order had been lost in
the classroom after the news of Syaoran’s departure and Terada-sensei’s own
declaration of resignation with less than a month till graduation.
But all was forgotten. Even Rika’s heartbroken face
when Terada-sensei walked away from the school. All she could think about was
that she had to speak with Syaoran, try to understand. But where could she reach
him?
There was one person who was the best resource on
gathering data about people. So once more, Sakura found herself at the
apartment complex that she had spent a third of the year living in. Since
Syaoran was no longer in it, the house suddenly felt alien and like any other
building, not the place she associated so many warm memories to.
She wrapped her coat tightly around her school
uniform as she walked through the front door of apartment #703 that was never
locked. It was freezing in Kai’s apartment—did he forget to pay gas bills? “Kai-kun? Are you in? How have you been doing?” Sakura
called out, peering at the darkened room with all the shades drawn down, and it
was the glint of steel gray of his eyes which allowed her to see him against
the camouflage of his black leather chair. Since Kai always wore black, the
only way that she could tell that he was till in mourning for Subaru was that
his parrot was black, and that he was bare of his usual garish jewelry except
for the periwinkle studs in his earlobes. “It looks like you’ve been recovering from the Plague, not me.”
“I’m glad you still have your sense of humor left,”
Kai remarked dryly, leaning back on the chair.
“Well, I don’t have much else left, do I?” Sakura
sighed. It was a relief to be blunt and say whatever was on her mind. With Kai,
she did not have to put up a front; she could just be herself.
“I’m sorry, Sakura-chan.” Kai said solemnly gazing
up at Sakura from his seat by the dining table, his usual sunglasses on the
table top. His gray blue eyes were bloodshot, but there was no longer the
hounded, troubled expression on his face.
“What for, Kai-kun?”
“For everything—you almost lost your life because
of me,” Kai replied, find for the first time at a loss of words. “Trying to save everyone with the Five Force Treasures. I
knew what danger you were stepping into, and I let you go ahead with it.”
“I should thank you for lending them to me,” Sakura
corrected. “You helped me save everyone. I would rather risk everything if
there was even one percent of success rather than be helpless and just let
things happen. Without you, the Plague couldn’t have been sealed. Thank you,
Kai-kun.”
At this, Kai shifted uncomfortably in his chair,
knowing he was not worthy of gratitude from this girl. “If you want this
back—this originally belonged to you anyway. Though it’s not
like it used to be.” Kai slipped out a small object wrapped in a black
handkerchief and placed it in Sakura’s hand.
Slowly, Sakura unwrapped
the silk cloth to find two pieces of crystal that looked like it was broken in
half. She almost let out a sob when she realized what it was—the Amamiya
diamond necklace. Since she did not know what to do with it, she hastily
wrapped it back in the handkerchief and shoved it into her book bag.
“I gather you’ve heard the news about Syaoran at
school,” Kai remarked.
“Do you have any news from him?” Sakura asked
imploringly. “He doesn’t pick up the phone. I called him in Hong Kong, and no
one picks up there either.”
Shaking his head, Kai said, “I’ve done the
same—even Meilin doesn’t answer her cell phone.”
“Do you think something’s happened to him?”
“I don’t know,” Kai replied.
“Where’s Wolfie-chan? Did Syaoran take Wolfie-chan
with him too? He must have, right? I mean, if something happened to Syaoran, he
wouldn’t have been able to take the dog with him.” Sakura kept looking over her
shoulders at the wall conjoining Kai’s living room to Syaoran’s room, as if
she’d hear some noise next-doors, some reassurance that he was still there,
after all.
Without a word, Kai pushed a card that was face
down across the table.
“What is this?” Sakura murmured as she picked it up
and turned it over to see the face of the Sakura card—she hadn’t recognized it
at first because it was a dull gray color. A lump formed in her throat. “The Wolf—why?”
“I don’t know. I found it not too far from the
apartment, about a week ago. I think it was soon after Syaoran’s disappearance.
I can’t even figure out exactly when he left the country. I didn’t think he’s
left permanently because everything’s still there in his apartment.”
“You broke in to his apartment,” Sakura accused.
“No, as a concerned neighbor, I had to check upon
my missing friend,” Kai corrected. “Judging upon the fact that he has not
packed anything, and the state of Wolfie-chan, I have to wonder if he went back
willingly.”
“Do you mean to say he was kidnapped by his family
or something?” Sakura asked sharply.
“I didn’t say that—I’m just assuming that his
return was as abrupt to him as to it was to us, since he did not take anything
back with him and Wolfie-chan has somehow returned to its sealed form.”
”What I don’t understand is why it’s gray,” Sakura said, fingering the card. “Like it’s… dead.”
She remembered that summer at the beachside, when Syaoran had converted the
Wolf into a light force, and it had lived as their pet ever since. Though
Syaoran had christened the puppy Vega of Lyra, after
his favorite star, the nickname Wolfie-chan had stuck. “You don’t think Syaoran
would really leave without telling us, do you, Kai-kun?”
“Why ask me? I’m the sort of guy who would do so
without blinking an eye. You know Syaoran better than me,” Kai snapped.
Sakura gazed at Kai morosely—it was funny how Kai
sometimes reminded her of her brother. “What if something happened to him?”
“He’s a big boy—I doubt anyone can do him any harm,
even if they do want to, heaven knows why.” What Kai did not mention to Sakura
was that at this point, Syaoran was especially vulnerable without his powers.
“But why would he leave without letting me know?”
Sakura’s face crunched up—she would not show tears to Kai. Because
Kai laughed at human weakness. Kai was no stranger to parting from
people without any second thought.
“Well, go pine for your wolf-boy on your own. I’ve
got more important business to take care of,” Kai stated, brushing off Sakura
for he simply could not deal with weepy girls at that moment. Sakura
scowled—she knew she had milked all the information she could from Kai; he had
been surprisingly agreeable up till this point, and even more surprisingly
useless.
“Such as what to do about Miho?” remarked Sakura,
crossing her arms.
“I—“ Kai was cut off by
Sakura.
“I know. You did something to her to throw her off
guard. But that doesn’t change the fact that she is suspicious of you still.
Sooner or later the layers of lies will crumble away. Then, do you think she
would be able to ever forgive you for deceiving her time and time again?”
Sakura asked. “No, if my own brother did that to me, even if he had his
reasons, I would feel betrayed beyond healing. All Miho asks of you is to just
tell her the truth, and—“
“I know!” Kai snapped, slamming his fists on the
table. Sakura was taken back by his sudden outburst. “I know all that. Don’t
you know how many times I ponder what it would be like to just tell her
everything? Tell her I’m her brother, how I became Kaitou Magician, how I
didn’t want to lie to her. Up till now wasn’t the hardest part. When I had a
direction, when I was focused on finding the Five Force Treasures, when I was
Kaitou Magician, I just concentrated on the present and what I had to do in
order to finish my task at hand. But now, it’s different. Suddenly, everything
I’ve been striving towards is winding to an end. I shouldn’t even be alive
right now, yet I’m still living. So, what am I supposed to do now? Where am I
supposed to head towards? What can I tell her? Voila, I am your brother after
all. I lied to you and told you that you’re brother is
dead, because I don’t deserve to be able to return to being Tanaka Mikai? I am
sorry, but can you accept me as I am?” Kai shook his head. “No, I can’t. You
know that. No matter what direction I take from here, she is bound to reproach
me. And how can I face my mother again? I—I betrayed her faith in me and
abandoned her in her illness…”
Sakura realized that there was
yet more things that Kai was not telling her, that maybe she would never truly
understand what was behind his constant facade. Another thing she realized was
that maybe he had been truly happiest as Kaitou Magician. As Mizuki Kai, a
person who didn’t truly exist, or Tanaka Mikai, a person who had ceased to
exist, he was always struggling in inner turmoil and anxiety, battling the
demons within him to come to terms with his very existence. And she could
understand that. Who was she? Kinomoto Sakura, the carefree fifteen year old
girl? The Sakura Card Mistress, chosen to be Clow Reed’s
Successor? To the Dark Ones, she was the despicable descendent of
Amamiya Hayashi of the Great Five. To her brother, she was just an annoying
little ogre. To Syaoran, what was she? All these things?
None of these things?
“Have you seen… how mother’s doing?” Kai asked, looking
up at Sakura.
“You haven’t seen her yet?” Sakura shook her head
in admonishingly. “Miho visits her every day—Tanaka-san’s health is improving
so rapidly, the doctors keep saying it’s a miracle. But there are some… side
effects as well.”
“I see… She has Miho looking after her… I keep
telling myself, soon, I will tell Miho the truth. But she’s so happy now that okaa-san’s health is improving. So just a little longer,
let me watch over her.” Kai smiled wistfully, as if recalling cheerier days. He
did not add out loud, Then, when everything is in its place, I will
tell her. And I can leave in peace…
“Sometimes, when you keep delaying something to
wait for the perfect timing, you end up losing the opportunity,” said Sakura
grimly.
“That would be nice also, the best option, if
possible,” Kai replied in his usual flippant manner. He had recovered from his
momentary slip of self-restraint; he could not let Miho know yet. Eventually,
she would find out. But not yet. There were things yet
to be done. “Well now, go ponder on you own missed opportunities and let this
poor retiree thief try to seek redemption in quiet mediation and prayer.”
“By the way, you’re not going to get your
graduation certificate if you miss anymore classes,” Sakura remarked as she was
ushered out the door. “You’re going to end up in the same grade as Miho-chan if
you flunk again.”
“That is the last of my worries,” Kai said, the
corner of his lips curling up sardonically. He shut the door on her face. Poor Sakura-chan. If he could, he would tie Syaoran up and
bring him back to his little cherry blossom. Locking the door, he slinked down
onto the floor, clutching his throbbing chest. The pain came more erratically,
more frequently than ever, like electric shocks that shook his body asunder.
His parrot landed on his shoulder and pecked his perspiring cheek. “Ah, Perro-chan. This is it, I guess. Time’s up.” Kai
reached for his bird with trembling hands. “Who will take care of you if I’m
not around?” For a brief moment, he had a flash of an animated face with bright
amber eyes, scolding him for being weak, for being an angst-ridden, spineless
coward. Why did he recall her face at a time like this?
“Time’s up, time’s up,” echoed Perro-chan.
As Sakura left Kai’s apartment, she found herself standing
in front of the door right beside Kai’s place. She could not resist sneaking
into the apartment next doors with her spare key, which she had kept from that
summer she had been resident there. Though she knew it was not a good idea, she
needed to see with her own eyes that Syaoran was really gone. Kai had told her
that Syaoran had taken nothing with him. Stepping into the house, she felt a
wave of nostalgia at the minty peach smell that lingered in the air. There was
the couch that she and Syaoran had fallen asleep on many a time while doing
their homework or watching anime reruns late into the night while
procrastinating. There was the dining table that the two had shared so many
meals, the sink they had washed and dried dishes side by side. There was the
strawberry-pattern mat the Wolfie-chan slept on, that she and Syaoran had
picked out together. The Wolf Card in her coat pocket weighed heavy. How could
Syaoran have let anything happen to Wolfie-chan? She could not dwell on the
question and continued down the gleaming wooden hallway. There was the bathroom
that she and Syaoran brushed their teeth in together in the morning while
getting ready to go to school pushing each other to get to the sink when they
were tardy. The guestroom—her temporary room— was yet untouched. She suspected
that some of her clothes that she had never taken back still hung in the
closet—but she did not want to check. What if he had thrown them out?
And there was Syaoran’s bedroom, the door ajar. The
bed was neatly made with green sheets. The curtains were drawn. She walked over
to the wall behind the bed. The wolf and cherry blossom embroidery she had made
him for Christmas still hung there. She fingered the fabric tenderly—was it was
not important enough for him to take back with him to Hong Kong? And there was
the bear with wings on his desk, the one she had made him in return for the
black Syaoran-bear he had made her back in fifth grade. He had not taken that
back with him either—he took back nothing that she had given him. Really, how
important was her presence in his life? If she could, if he had given her a
chance, she would have hugged him, hugged him hard and begged him not to leave.
This time, she would not have let him go without a fight. She would have
grabbed onto his hand and refused to let him go. But he had not given her the
chance. He had left without a word. Everything was there as if she had never
even left the house, and it seemed as if Syaoran would walk right back into the
front door, after soccer practice. He would change out of his uniform into a
t-shirt and sweatpants and they would prepare dinner together, or he would
teach her more martial arts moves. On Saturdays, they would do grocery
together, and on Sundays, they would do laundry and house cleaning. Then, at
the end of the day, they would buy melon popsicles and take Wolfie-chan out for
a walk. They fought a lot too. He would say something biting to her, but then
she would see his amber eyes soften in remorse. Somehow, she could never remain
truly mad at Syaoran, not since that thundering night when she ran to his room
after a nightmare, and he told her about his past with such honesty, about his
cousin’s death and his determination then on to become the Chosen One. Because
for the first time, he had really opened up to her, conveyed that he completely
trusted her. Her throat choked up.
Realizing that the house was suffocating because it
was as if Syaoran was still there, Sakura bolted out of the empty, empty
apartment. Syaoran was no longer here.
******
Sasaki Rika would become sixteen in June. For
nearly half her life, she had loved one man, and he happened to be her homeroom
teacher, Terada Yoshiyuki. At first glance, he was a mild, temperate man,
someone who was always calm and gentle. Since he was young and kind,
Terada-sensei had always been popular among the students and staff alike. Rika
knew that Terada-sensei treated all his students equally and fairly, which was
why she grew to respect him so much in the beginning. Her love may have begun
as a one-sided student’s crush but over the years, she knew that things have
changed. She knew that when he gazed into her eyes, there was more warmth, more
fervor than he showed anyone else. She knew that lately, he had begun looking
at her as a woman.
But now, it was over, the relationship that barely
was able to blossom was trampled upon, scorned upon. Was
loving a man such a sin? Sometimes, she was jealous of her best friend
Chiharu’s relationship with Yamazaki-kun. So open and
uncomplicated. Through her junior high years, Rika had to always hide
her relationship with Terada-sensei from the public eye. Her closest friends
knew—Tomoyo had noticed first, years ago, but now Chiharu, Sakura and Naoko all
knew and supported her. They did not think it was wrong for a teacher and a
student to be in a relationship. It had been going well. Those moments alone
with Terada-sensei were so rare and there was always the looming anxiety of
being discovered. But those moments were so sweet and blissful. Together, they
talked up everything. Rika talked about her family, the books she read, the
piano pieces she was learning, the little stories of
the day involving her friends. And Terada-sensei would teach her so much about
the world, talk about literature, history, the
constellation. Sometimes, he would tell stories of when he was a student—he had
been quite a prankster back then.
“Nee, Terada-sensei, why did you decide to become a
teacher?” Rika asked one day, leaning her head against Terada-sensei’s broad
shoulders as they sat side by side on the park bench. She was not in her
uniform, so an observer would have just thought them a couple in love, not a teacher and his student.
“I wonder too,” Terada-sensei replied, smiling
nostalgically. “Nobody would have expected that of me. My grades weren’t
terribly good. After all, I spent more time playing baseball than studying. I
think my dream when I was a boy was to go pro baseball.”
“Then, how did you end up as a teacher?” Rika gazed
up at Terada-sensei clean-cut profile.
“Well, I had a teacher in high school—a person that
I admired a lot. She was the sort of person that would trust the students no
matter what; she was on the side of the students, not like those adults who
pretended to understand but when they made decisions, did what was beneficial
to them. And one day, I decided I wanted to be like her. So, I got a teaching
license in university and somehow ended becoming a teacher,” stated
Terada-sensei.
“Did you like her?” Rika questioned somberly.
Taken back, Terada-sensei stared into Rika’s
chestnut brown eyes and stammered, “Well, it was just a high school boy’s puppy
love. How should I put it—we all liked her, admired her.”
Rika chuckled. “It’s okay,
Terada-sensei. After all, if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have become my
teacher, and I wouldn’t have met you.”
Returning her smile, Terada-sensei smoothed a lock
of hair away from her smooth forehead. “So, Rika, what do you want to become?”
“Why, Sensei’s bride of course,” Rika replied,
smiling. She wondered if he would laugh at her childish answer.
At this, she could see Terada-sensei blush, even in
the dark. “Why did you choose me, Rika?”
“Why did you
choose me, Terada-sensei?” Rika returned.
That conversation had taken place not too long ago.
Shortly afterwards, the scandal blew out of proportion when the school
administration found out about her relationship with Terada Yoshiyuki. They
could have denied it—but Rika didn’t want to lie. Because what was wrong with
two people loving each other?
“Rika, aren’t you going to your piano lesson?” her
mother called out from outside her room. She tried the door and found it
locked.
“I’m not feeling well,” Rika stated, falling over
onto her bed. This last month of school before graduation was going to be
unbearable. There was no joy in going to a school without Terada-sensei. She
checked her cell phone. Still no message from him. And
he did not return any of her calls.
“Rika, I don’t know what is wrong with you these
days,” her mother said through the doors. “You’ve always been so well behaved.
I understand the sort of feeling you had for your homeroom teacher—everybody
has such crushes at your age. But for him to encourage that sort of behavior—“
“It’s not just a crush—okaa-san,
I love Terada-sensei. And because of you, he had to leave!” Rika burst out,
tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Rika, what do you know of love at the age of
fifteen? It may seem important right now, but in the long run, you’ll be
grateful that this happened,” Rika’s mother said, swinging open the bedroom
door to see her daughter sitting on the corner of her bed, hugging her knees in
a fetal position.
“I’m almost sixteen now, and I love him. I love
him, and what’s wrong with that?” Rika demanded.
“He’s so much older than you—he’s taking advantage
of his position of authority. You’re still a young girl,” was her mother’s
steady response.
“I’m old enough to know that I love him,” Rika
whispered.
“I know I should have sent you to a private school,
like your father suggested,” her mother sighed. “You’re lucky your father was
away on a business trip. We’ll keep this from him.”
Rika closed her eyes and lay down in her bed. “Is
it a sin to love someone?”
Her mother pressed a hand on Rika’s forehead.
“Don’t come down with something—you’ve just recovered from that horrible case
of flu, and graduation’s coming up. Otou-san will be back for your graduation.
Isn’t that exciting?”
“It was the plague, not the flu,” murmured Rika.
“I’ll call the piano instructor and let her know
that you’re not feeling well—but you’re going tomorrow, all right darling?”
“I’m not going today, nor
tomorrow,” Rika stated, voice muffled in her piano. “I’m sorry okaa-san, but I just want to be alone.”
“Well, come down to dinner in an hour,” her mother
said, walking out the room. “You best forget about that Terada-sensei—he’s left
for good.”
The door shut and it was silent once more. Rika
hugged her blanket closer to her. How could she ever forget Terada-sensei?
Loving him had made her into who she was today. And she would never regret
falling in love with him.
******
It had taken Kai a month to return to the hospital
room #205 where his mother lay. He knew that every day, Miho
went to the hospital straight after school and stayed late into the night
there—sometimes in the evenings, she slept on the cot by her mother’s side and
went to school directly from the hospital—Eriol would bring her a fresh change
of uniform in the morning.
His mother lay on the bed, eyes closed, looking so
serene and beautiful. When she was sleeping, she looked no older than twenty,
all the lines in her face eased out. As usual, he placed the fresh bouquet of
lilies in the vase on the nightstand. He straightened the open journal on her
lap, frowning as he glimpsed the letters that did not line up with the lining
of the paper. Careful not to make any sound, he sat down on the stool next to
her bedside and gazed at her face closer. Her cheeks were flushed, and her
breath was soft and steady—she was no longer in pain. She was recovering. He
could not help smiling. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, which was so
thin and white, even against the white flannel blanket. These were the hands
that would pack him and Miho the least appetizing bento in the morning. Her
fingers would always be stained with ink. In that sense, she and his father
were quite a set—her father’s fingers would always be smudged with graphite.
Miho used to cry in the morning when Miara brushed
and braided her hair because her mother was so rough and sloppy with the
braiding. So, he had learned to brush and braid Miho’s hair, and Miara would use the extra ten minutes in the morning to
edit her articles. Though their mother hadn’t been much of a housekeeper, she
had been a brilliant journalist with keen observational skills and a wizardry in forming words to describe events. Like Miho.
Miara’s eyes
fluttered and opened. Kai was taken aback to find her eyes upon him, and he
didn’t even have the sense to leap up and flee. He blinked back at his mother
with eyes the very same shade as hers.
She continued to stare at him without a word, and
her eyes, while in his direction, were unfocused, as if she was staring at the
wall. Why did she not say a word, not even look surprised? Then, it dawned upon
Kai. He remembered Sakura’s troubled expression as she said, “There are some side effects as well.” Gingerly,
he reached out one hand and waved it in front of his mother’s eyes. There was
no response. He felt a lump in his throat. Even
after all this… Even after everything I put into finding a cure…
“Is someone there?” Miara
finally asked, holding up her arms and waving them in front of her.
Kai remained silent as her fingers almost brushed
against his face.
“Mikai, is it you again?” She was smiling now. “I
knew you’d come. Okaa-san is finally getting better.
I’m going to get completely released from the hospital soon, for once and for
all. The Plague is finally sealed… I knew Nadeshiko’s daughter could do it. I
never thought I would live till this day, but here I am now. Maybe I can really
live to be old and see you and Miho marry and have my grandchildren. I can
write my Nobel-prize novel and visit every city in the world. I can make up for
being such a hopeless mother to you two. The three of us can live together
again—we’ll find a new house for us. And it would be like old times.” Her hands
found his hands. “Why are your hands so cold, Mikai? Mikai?
Are you crying? Don’t worry. I don’t mind not being able to see. It’s a
blessing just being given this second chance. I’ve already seen much
already—now, I can enjoy living. I can still write—typing is no problem since
I’ve memorized the keyboard. Miho reads to me everyday, so that’s no problem
either. Only, I’d have liked to see how handsome you grew up to be. But I can
imagine it—you must look a bit like Keisuke-san when he was young—only you’ll
be even handsomer because you take more after me.”
He gently slipped his hands away from hers.
“Mikai? Are
you still there? Let me hear your voice just once. The lilies you brought for
me smell lovely. Like our old garden. Mikai, my boy… Ah, you’re not ready to
return to me yet, are you?” Miara shut her eyes
again. The difference was of a little light to no light. When she opened them
again, her son was gone.
“Ah, Tanaka-san, you’ve had a dream about your son
again?” the nurse said, propping the pillows up and spreading the table for
meal time.
“No, it wasn’t a dream,” Miara
replied. “I saw him clearer today than I ever did when my eyes could see.”
******
“So, this concludes the last meeting of the
Journalism Club—thanks, all of you for making this such a fruitful club,” Aki
stated, gazing around the familiar faces gathered about in the meeting room.
Many were missing—the Chang twins, Mizuki Kai, and Li Syaoran who had returned
to Hong Kong last-minute. “Not only did we produce high quality papers, but we
invested in many good causes such as raising money for charity, volunteering at
the Kinhoshi Hospital and covering the ever-so-popular
Star-Crossed musical. As you know, I’ve been editor-in-chief for the past year,
but now, I must pass the task onto our favorite assistant editor, Tanaka Miho.
Give a round of applause for Miho-chan.”
The students cheered—Miho was popular with the
underclassman, and she stood up and bowed bashfully. “I don’t know what to
say—Aki-sempai, I don’t know if I can handle all the responsibility.”
“I know you can do it, Miho-chan. You already
manage most of it, anyway.” Aki grinned, shaking Miho’s hand and passed to her
the prized Editor’s Laptop. “Now, keep up the good work and write even more
magnificent articles.”
“Congratulations Miho-chan—you deserve to be
editor!” Chiharu called out, clapping the younger girl on the back.
“You did more work then Aki-kun ever did,” Naoko
added.
Miho turned to glance at Eriol, to see if he was
proud of her. He was grinning lazily, unsurprised.
“Well, meeting adjourned,” Aki said, for the last
time.
“Woohoo! No more deadlines!” cheered most of the
underclassman.
“Oh don’t worry—next year, we’re going to make the
paper weekly,” Miho stated, smiling evilly. The underclassmen groaned while the
third years chuckled. Another Demon Editor was in the making.
“Sakura-sempai!” Miho called out as Sakura left the room.
“Congratulations, Miho-chan,” Sakura said. “By the
way, when did you start calling me sempai?”
“I don’t know—you’re graduating soon and all,” Miho
said, suddenly embarrassed. “I—I heard that Syaoran-sempai left for Hong Kong.”
“Umm, yeah…” Sakura was quiet.
“And Terada-sensei left also! He was one of my
favorite teachers, though I only had him for once class—I was so excited
thinking that he might be my homeroom teacher next year, too. There were some
strange rumors going around. About him and Rika-sempai.”
Miho crossed her arms. “Don’t worry, I told off everybody. Nobody’s talking
about them anymore, at least in my class.”
“Rika-chan would appreciate it,” Sakura said.
Though Rika seemed fine on the surface, she knew that Rika was struggling
against the whispers and stares of the crowds, daily. But when Chiharu, Naoko,
Tomoyo and she formed a tight barrier around Rika and glared at all the
gossipers, they backed away. After all, Sakura’s clique of friends were highly
regarded throughout Seijou Junior High since they were a talented bunch and
quite popular in their own rights. Chiharu, Naoko and Sakura had been
cheerleaders since their first year and were well-admired with the athletic
crowd—besides, Sakura had become a school celebrity
since the Star-Crossed production. Meanwhile, Tomoyo had always been the school
Madonna, the most beautiful girl in the grade, as well as a top-scorer in
exams, also famed to have the voice of an angel. In other words, students knew
not to mess with Sakura’s circle of friends. Thus, gossiping subsided since the
anticipation of the upcoming graduation eclipsed all other talk for the time
being. Besides, an even juicier gossip began to circulate in school, and it was
whispered that Mizuki Kai was in jail after a motorcycle gang fight against
rival gang leader Chang Eron. The showdown had involved the serious injury of
Li Syaoran, who had jumped in to stop the fight in order to save Mizuki Kai,
his dearly beloved. Sakura had yet to figure out whether it was Tomoyo or Eriol
who had concocted this amusingly bizarre story.
“By the way,” Miho said, tucking her short hair
behind her ears. “Have you seen Mizuki-sempai lately?” It seemed as if she had
also heard the motorcycle gang rumors.
“He’s doing fine—I think he’s still recovering from
the flu,” Sakura said, not quite untruthfully. “You’re awfully concerned about
him as usual.”
“I’m not,” Miho retorted, turning red. “I have some
questions to ask him, that’s all.”
“How’s your mother doing?” Sakura asked.
“Much better.
Her eye sight still hasn’t returned since the last coma. But she’s doing
well—all test results have come out positive,” Miho replied.
“Her eyes… are going to get better, right?” Sakura
said.
“The doctors are not sure yet. There isn’t anything
physically wrong with her eyes—the retina, the vein, nothing’s permanently
damaged. It might have been the shock from when the circulation of oxygen was
cut off from her brains during the seizure…” Miho trailed off, trying not to
look dejected. For she didn’t want Sakura to feel bad—she was completely
grateful for what Sakura had done in order to save all the patients suffering
from the Plague.
“I’m sorry, Miho,” Sakura said. “If I was a little
earlier—“
“Don’t even think of it. You don’t know how
grateful mother and I are… You’ve cured her disease. She’s recovering so
quickly, she’ll soon be able to walk around on her own. And I am so thankful,
so thankful to have at least my mother left to me.” Miho felt her eyes
blurring, so she quickly turned around, bowed her head and added, “By the way,
if you see Mizuki-sempai, let him know how mad I am that he never finished the
final layouts for the newspaper—I stayed up all night finishing it myself!”
******
The Chang mansion was built in a Gothic style in
the outskirts of the town of Tomoeda, bordering Eitoukou.
It was a house constructed during the Meiji era and though it had been
renovated many times since, it retained somewhat of an antique chateau
atmosphere—rumors that the house was haunted had been whispered by neighbors
for decades. A year and a half ago, the Chang twins
moved in—neighbors were baffled to see no adults. There seemed to be servants,
but the servants never stayed employed for too long. For the past month, nobody
seemed to enter or leave the house. The male twin was nowhere to be seen—and
the fox-like female one was glimpsed only every so often. Young children were
frightened by her, while their parents observed that the girl, with her uncanny
gold eyes contrasting sharply against dark hair, seemed quite unearthly, like a
fox demon or a mononoke.
Even if Chang Erika knew what her neighbors thought
of her, she did not care and never had. But at times like this, it might have
been nice to have a friend drop by with some porridge, someone to check on them
and see how they were doing. She sat on the parlor chair, staring emptily at
the wall above unlit fireplace. The portrait that hung there had fascinated
her. This was the only room in the house that retained some sort of order—the
rest of the house was in chaos, since there was nobody to clean ever since the
last servant quit. She hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning, but she
wasn’t hungry. She was afraid to leave this room, to go upstairs to where he was. It had been a month since the
Plague had been sealed. Yet, she had no sense of how time passed, whether it
was night or day since all the curtains in the house were drawn. Never in her
life had she ever felt the absence of parents. Not once had she longed for a
mother or father; she did not need to, since she always had Eron. But for the
first time, after the Plague was unleashed, Erika wondered what it would have
been like to have parents. A stern but protective father, a
kind and caring mother who would wipe your forehead when you were sweating with
fever. A mother who would bring her honey and
milk—even though she hated milk.
“My, my, you live in quite a pig-hole, Erika-chan,”
commented a drawl voice from right behind her.
Out of instinct, Erika bolted up from her chair and
grabbed the nearest vase and flung it behind her, only to find Mizuki Kai, who
deftly ducked. The vase shattered behind him on the wooden floor.
“What a waste of a family heirloom,” Kai remarked,
pushing up the bridge of his sunglasses knocked askew from the duck.
“How did you get in here?” Erika demanded.
“I’ve gotten in here before,” Kai replied,
smirking.
Erika scowled, remembering that the Kaitou Magician
had not only stolen the ruby earrings but also the Five Force Scroll from them
in the past. “What do you want?”
“How’s Eron doing?” Kai inquired, looking around
the old-fashioned parlor.
“Why do you care?” Erika folded her arms in front
of her chest.
“I don’t.” Kai shrugged. “I was just asking out of
courtesy. You don’t seem to have cleaned the house in months. There were dishes
stacked in the kitchen sink. I must say, appearances are quite
deceiving—looking at you, no one at school would have guessed you’re a slob.”
“All the servants quit. Supposedly they think the
house is haunted,” Erika replied shortly.
“So? Don’t you have two hands? Or if not manually,
you have magic.”
“If you came here to criticize our manner of
living, I would kindly request you leave.” Erika held her head up haughtily, as
if she were royalty, even in the dustiness of the room.
“Actually, I came here to return this.” Kai held
out a black satin pouch and dropped it into Erika’s hand.
Gingerly, Erika opened the pouch and saw two
gleaming rubies inside it. “Why are you returning this to us?”
“You need it, don’t you?” Kai asked, raising an
eyebrow.
Erika remained silent, clutching the pouch tightly.
“Mayura-sama was a healer,” Kai said, gazing at the
faded and singed canvas above the fireplace, fascinated. For
there was the portrait of the serene-looking woman with clear, gray eyes and
long auburn hair against a background of black splotches. Mayura might
not have been as startlingly beautiful as Li Shulin, but her face reminded
people of beautiful things, like the bamboos swaying in the wind, or the
glimmering ripples in the stream. “Why do you guys have a portrait of
Mayura-sama here?”
“I don’t know—it was already there when we moved
in,” replied Erika, glancing at the small figure against the large black
canvas. “My father probably tried to collect as many artifacts related to the
Great Five as possible.”
“Your… father?”
“Yes. Chang Reiji. Twin brother to Chang Ryouta,”
Erika said matter of fact.
“And your mother?”
“She died giving birth to us,” replied Erika,
repeating the very few facts she knew about her parents, who they were before
she and Eron ended up in the orphanage.
“Interesting—I always thought you two were the
direct descendants of Chang Ryouta,” Kai remarked.
“We are.”
“Eh?”
“Well, we always thought Chang Ryouta died in the
Final Battle, but he didn’t. Only some seven years later did Reiji find out
that Eri—that’s our mother—was actually pregnant with Ryouta’s child… well,
children, because we turned out to be twins. Reiji searched for Ryouta, who had
since disappeared—probably died. Since out mother died giving birth to us,
Reiji raised us as our father—well, I guess he’s really our uncle—that is until
he passed away. And since we had no near relatives, we were sent to the orphanage.”
“I see.” Kai blinked. Chang Ryouta was the Dark One
who was famed for his sadistic streak and violent temper, the one who was
considered most like Chang Ruichi. In contrast, you heard very little about
Chang Reiji, the other twin, the silent one.
“I don’t remember Reiji at all, but Eron says he
remembers our father’s face. When we were young, we were always angry at being
abandoned at that horrid orphanage. But later, we found out the orphanage head
had been hiding our will from us—we had actually inherited a considerable
amount of real estate and stocks from Reiji. He had made sure that our futures
were secure, and made it so that we would inherit our fortune at the time we
were ready to leave the orphanage. Of course, we ended up leaving earlier than
anticipated. When we were young, we thought we were left at the orphanage
because we were not loved. Now that I’m older, I can’t help thinking, Reiji
never really meant to abandon us.”
“Humph, better than a father who pretended
everything was all up then landed you in a horrible debt,” Kai said grimly.
“Or a brother who could not deal with his problems
and ran away, abandoning his sister with a mentally unstable mother.” Erika gazed at Kai with cool hazel eyes. “Anyway,
I won’t thank you for the earrings. It’s ours in the first place, and you stole
it from us.”
“True. Though I prefer the term, ‘borrow,’ ” stated
Kai.
“By the way Kai, the color of your face is way off.
You look sicklier than Eron, not that I really care. But it would have been funny
to see Miho’s expression when she found out that you’d been lying to her all
this time. If you give in now, Miho will never be anymore the wiser. And that
would be bo-ring.”
“I’m glad you didn’t lose any of your cattiness,”
Kai remarked dryly.
“And I’m glad you’re as much of a slithering coward
as you always are,” returned Erika, turning her back to the Kaitou Magician.
She regretted telling him about her father and their past—but it had been so
long since she had met anyone, that is, aside from her ill brother. Besides,
Kai got on her nerves less than Sakura and her goody-good crew did; at least
Kai never made the pretense of being any less of a dirty scoundrel than he
really was.
******
Graduation from junior high was not the festive
occasion that Sakura and her friends had assumed it to be but rather a solemn
and reflective event. The gymnasium was packed and the seats were filled with
the proud parents, siblings and friends of the graduating class. Feeling
melancholy that this would be her last day wearing her junior high uniform with
the black plaid skirt and matching blazer over white blouse, and the smart red
tie, Sakura held her head up as they called her name, and she stiffly walked to
the stage to receive her graduation certificate. As the
principal handed her the certificate, Sakura bowed deeply than gazed at the
fifth row, where her father and brother sat. Yukito-san was snapping
pictures. A couple seats back, she saw Tomoyo’s mother next to her
great-grandfather. Sakura’s heart lurched. Even her great-grandfather was there
to see her. Supposedly, he had not even attended Nadeshiko’s high school
graduation, because back then, he had been still angry that his granddaughter
had married a penniless teacher before even completing high school.
As she walked down the stage after receiving her
certificate, Sakura realized that another chapter of her life was over. She
would no longer return to this familiar building that held so many bittersweet
memories. All the school festivals, the winter music concert in which she
performed in the strings quartet with Syaoran, the Star-Crossed production held
in the auditorium, the cheerleading practices by the soccer field, the after
school make-up classes, the cafeteria… all those corners of the school were
haunted by memories of Syaoran. It was a year and a half ago when he had
returned from Hong Kong, one autumn day, to save her from the Knife, reentering
her life as if he had never left. Together, they had spent months of anxiety
and apprehension as they uncovered the secrets of the past, of the story of
Amamiya Nadeshiko and Li Ryuuren and the mystery behind the Dark Forces. As a
ten year old, Sakura had thought that she liked Syaoran better than any other
boy she knew. Now, at the brink of entering high school, Sakura realized that
she had never ached for anyone, never had been consumed by the thought of
someone like this. This was not a feeling of hanyaan, the tingling excitement
of a first crush, or the sensation of tears welling up to your eyes with the
disappointment of the end of a puppy love. This was the feeling of emptiness,
as if half of your soul had been torn away from you. Unconsciously, she felt
herself always glancing over her shoulder every time she heard a footstep in
the hopes of catching a glimpse of him right behind her, to find that he had
always been there, that he was not really gone. But when she turned to look, it
was not him.
“Well, I’m really impressed you made it through
junior high in one piece,” remarked Erika, who was not the same saucy Erika of
several months ago but a much subdued girl. “We surely did our best to prevent
that.”
“I’m surprised you made it to graduation,” Sakura
said tightly, avoiding eye contact with the girl. This was the first time she
had seen Erika since that afternoon she had asked Sakura to seal the Plague
more than a month ago.
“Well, I needed to pick up our diplomas,” Erika
stated, clutching the certificates to her chest almost protectively.
If Sakura had been in a more forgiving mood, she
would almost have thought Erika was somewhat proud of graduating junior high.
As if the Dark Ones cared about diplomas at all. She managed to ask flatly,
“How’s… Eron-kun doing?”
“He’s surviving,” was the brief answer.
“I see.” Sakura thought maybe Erika was keeping the
worst from her, but the fact that Erika had shown up for graduation proved that
Eron’s state was at least past the perilous stage. Though she had never been
more furious at another being than she had been towards Eron, she did not wish
such harm upon him. No one, no matter how terrible they were, deserved the
Plague upon them.
“In case you’re wondering, we didn’t have anything
to do with Syaoran’s disappearance,” Erika asserted. “Well, Eron’s in not in
any condition to leave the house, and I’ve been with him all this time.”
“I never accused you guys,” replied Sakura.
“Anyway, I’m not going to say thank you for sealing
the Plague,” Erika stated shortly. “Because you did what you had to do.”
Sakura gazed at Erika’s bright golden eyes staidly.
“I wasn’t expecting thanks from you.”
“But you saved Eron’s life nonetheless. I won’t
forget that.” And she walked away, Erika-like again, with her head in the air.
Sakura couldn’t help reevaluating her previous judgment of that vixen girl that
had made so much of her school days miserable over the past year and a half. No
doubt, Erika was selfish and spiteful towards her—but was she truly evil, as
Sakura had always believed the Dark Ones to be? No, Erika was just human. And
she could deal with another human being.
Sakura was distracted by Yamazaki stating to a
group of fascinated parents, “There is a tradition at school, that if a boy
gives the uniform button closest to the heart to a girl, the couple would be
blessed. The notion comes from the fact that the article of clothing that a
student wears the most is the school uniform—and so the button starts seeping
in the soul of the student. Some say that couples who have formed in this
matter actually are drawn to each other because buttons yearned to find their
soul mate and—”
Chiharu, who had almost been listening raptly at
what seemed like a simple enough school girl’s tradition wind into Yamazaki
Takashi’s usual nonsense.
Nonetheless she reached out and grabbed Takashi’s uniform button, the one
closest to his heart. It would go in her cardboard box of junk—the half-crayon
Takashi had given her in kindergarten, his uniform tie from elementary
graduation, the dried corsage from the Winter Wonderland and old journals and
pictures, all now a part of her precious memories of junior high.
“Congratulations, Sakura-san!” Kinomoto Fujitaka
stated, handing Sakura a bouquet of pink nadeshiko
flowers.
“Kaijou—I can’t believe you actually passed all
your exams!” Touya said, ruffling Sakura’s head, tangling the pretty curls that
Tomoyo had arranged in pins. “And you didn’t even trip when you went to the
principal’s podium!”
“You can’t do that to her anymore, To-ya—she’s almost sixteen now,”
Yukito scolded. How could his Card Mistress, who had been a clumsy ten year old
who once professed her love for him, have blossomed into this mellow young
woman who would be breaking the hearts of many young men in the future?
“Sakura-chan!
You’re growing up so fast! You’re going on to high school now,” Daidouji Sonomi
exclaimed, squeezing Sakura into a tight hug. “It seems just like yesterday
when you were a baby wetting your diaper. And look who’s here to see you and
Tomoyo-chan graduate?”
Sakura’s great-grandfather stepped forward and
said, “Sakura-san, I’m very proud of you. Tomoyo-san, you too—do you ever stop
videotaping, dear?”
Tomoyo was raptly filming the entire ceremony, the
last opportunity to wear their junior high school uniforms, the uniform that
looked so cute on Sakura. Then again, Sakura looked cute in any uniform.
Nonetheless, graduation was not quite how she thought it would be, for Sakura’s
smile dropped as soon as her father and brother turned away, and there was
always that glaring empty space between students where Li Syaoran should have
been called.
“Sakura-chan, say something to the video-camera!” Tomoyo exclaimed.
“Hoe?”
Sakura blinked as the lens zoomed on her face. “Ano…
Hoe-e! I don’t know what to say. Umm… Arigatou otou-san, onii-chan, Tomoyo-chan, everybody! I
somehow passed the math final. And I… and I… I had a
great time in junior high. I’ll continue trying my hardest in high school!” And Syaoran… Syaoran, I’m
graduating. Are you graduating in Hong Kong too? Somehow, I made it through so
far… I always thought I’d be graduating with you. I might have asked for your
blazer button, the one closest to your heart. It’s tradition they say.
“Speaking of traditions, the tradition behind
graduation ceremonies began when tribesmen wanted to initiate young ones into
adulthood. It involved life-threatening rituals such as being stranded in a
forest full of wild beasts and being left to fend themselves on their own, or—“ Yamazaki Takashi’s head disappeared from the video-camera
screen, because Chiharu had bonked him on the head.
Grinning at the camera, Chiharu stated, “Hello
Terada-sensei! Look, we all graduated! I think, that’s
except Mizuki-kun, but we all knew he wouldn’t graduate with all his absences.
Rika-chan, say something to Terada-sensei—we’re going to mail the graduation
tape to him.”
Rika was pushed in front of the camera. She turned
red and stared at her feet. “Umm...” With a determined face, she stared
directly at into the camera and stated, “Terada-sensei, just three more months
and I’ll be sixteen!”
“Terada-sensei! There are UFOs, and I’ll prove it to you some
day!” Naoko exclaimed in front of the camera. “And remember how you kept
telling us we’re all going to have to repeat the third year with our grades?
Well, here we are! I’ll give you credit for being the most awesome teacher
ever!” She was struggling to keep from dropping her handful of buttons.
“Why do you have so many buttons? Who are they
from?” Chiharu demanded.
“I must get a boyfriend in high school for sure.
But I couldn’t decide who—it doesn’t hurt to be prepared,” replied Naoko.
“And if the adolescent survived the tribal ritual
to adulthood, he would receive the initiation tattoos and piercing, which hurt
even more than the actual trials, so—“ Takashi was cut
off again by Chiharu.
“Takashi-kun, are you still not finished—hurry, my
mom wants to speak to you,” Chiharu said loudly.
“Hoe! Why?”
protested Takashi, coining Sakura’s favorite word.
Tomoyo filmed Takashi being dragged off by Chiharu
then swerved around to focus the camera on another group of people. And somehow
she found her lens focus on the bespectacled boy who seemed more amused at the
fact that he was graduating junior high than joyous, more aloof from the crowd
than anyone else.
“Congratulations Eriol! You’re finally going to be
a high schooler!” Miho exclaimed, handing Eriol a
bouquet of white roses, which he received surprising rigidly.
“How boring,” yawned Nakuru.
“I wish I’m back in school—it’s not as if I actually age.”
“Sakura-chan!
Congratulations!” Miho called out, handing Sakura another bouquet, which Sakura
had difficult balancing between the one from her father, the small bouquet of
peach blossoms from Yukito-san, and the ridiculously large one that Sonomi had
gotten for her. “Okaa-san is here too—today’s her
first day out of the hospital since Christmas.” She turned around and pushed
the wheelchair up to Sakura.
Miara was
dressed in a soft cotton blouse and skirt, her long auburn curls braided down
her shoulder. Her skin was pale since it had not seen sunlight in years, and
she was wheelchair bound at the moment since she was still regaining muscle
mass lost after years of being bedridden. Miho had been helping her with
rehabilitation and she could walk short distances, but did not have the stamina
for a daylong event. Yet, the light had returned to those keen gray eyes,
though they were unfocused, and a flush was in her cheeks, as if she was almost
a young girl again. “Kinomoto Sakura, is that you?” She reached out, and Sakura
knelt over, letting Miara feel her features. “Ah, I
never realized before. You have your mother’s bone structure, Sakura, though I
remember you don’t particularly look like her except your eyes. I know you’ve
been ill yourself for awhile, but I’m glad you seem energetic enough now.
Congratulations on your graduation—your mother would have been very proud of
you. She wasn’t much of a scholar, herself. I wonder if she even made it
through high school.”
“Okaa-san,” hissed
Miho.
“Tanaka-san,” Sakura stammered, not knowing what to
say to Miho’s mother. The last time Sakura had seen her,
she had been delirious with the Plague and did not even recognize Miho.
“Sakura, dear, I want to thank you for everything.
I never got a proper chance to,” Miara said, taking
hold of her daughter’s hand. Miho’s smile was radiant.
“I—I didn’t do anything,” Sakura said, staring into
the brilliant array of flowers she was holding. What could she say to this
woman that had once also loved Li Ryuuren, who had lost her husband and son,
who had been sick for the past five years? What could she say to apologize to
her for all the pain in her life due to the Dark Ones, for even now, she had
lost her vision. How was it to live without light and
color?
“Sakura, please look at me,” Miara
said gently reaching out and placing her other hand on Sakura’s cheek. “Many
things in life didn’t go as I planned. There are many things I regret also.”
She tightened her hold on Miho, her dear daughter who had been abandoned and
devastated. But the girl had grown up to be so strong and determined, thanks to
the care of her cousin and the strange glass-eyed boy. “Nadeshiko wouldn’t have
wanted to leave such a beautiful daughter. But she did what she had to do in
order to save everyone. She and Ryuuren-san.
Sacrifices in life have to be made. But never forget the simple joy in living,
in breathing, in being in the moment. I thank you, Sakura, for giving me
another chance at life when I had abandoned all hope.”
It was strange to meet someone who spoke so openly
about her mother and Ryuuren-san. The only other person who did so had been the
artist Shing. Misty-eyed, Sakura turned to Miho. Miho squeezed Sakura into a
tight hug, flowers and all. “Sakura-chan, thank you for
saving okaa-san. Now, I can’t stand you being
like this. Go bring back Syaoran.”
“Hoe?”
Sakura blinked.
“Sakura, I have something to give you,” Miara said, fumbling in her pocket. She handing Sakura a
yellowed envelope. “I found this while I was going through my old diary, some
time ago and meant to give it to you ever since. It’s a letter your mother
wrote at the age of sixteen. Since you’re almost sixteen now, I thought this
would be the right occasion to give it to you.”
“A letter?
To me?” Sakura asked.
“Yes—to her unborn daughter.” Miara
smiled. “She was a little gifted, your mother. But she was a little
scatter-brained—she said that she would never be able to find it and wanted me
to keep it safe. I guess she didn’t expect me to fall ill—I almost forgot about
it and luckily chanced upon it when it fell out of my old journal when Miho was
tidying up my books.”
“T-thank you,” Sakura stammered, taking the
envelope and clutching it to her chest.
“Go ahead, open it!” Miho said eagerly.
Nudging Miho, Miara said,
“You can open it later in private if you want to. I know it’s pretty chaotic
right now. Besides, read the envelope.”
Turning over the envelope to the back, Sakura could
read the faded blue ink—To Sakura, age sixteen. From Nadeshiko, age sixteen.
She felt a lump in her throat. These words were written by her mother, to her,
over twenty-two years ago.
“Okaa-san, do you have
one for me?” Miho asked.
Miara
chuckled. “I don’t need to give you a letter—I’m here by your side, dear Miho,
and I’m not going anywhere.”
At this, Miho blushed. Miara
stroked her daughter’s hair fondly. “So, which of the boys here is your
boyfriend, Miho? Describe them to me—I can’t see them, but I can feel them.
There’s the typical playboy—stay away from those.” Sakura looked over at the
direction Miara was focused on, to find Aki
surrounded by underclassmen presenting him flowers. “And the intellects—they
tend to bore me.” Eriol seemed to be keeping his distance from Miho and her
mother. “And the class clowns—I doubt you’ll get much out of them.” Chiharu was
pelting Takashi with her bouquet.
“I-I don’t have a boyfriend yet!” Miho stammered.
“No? When okaa-san was
your age, I had a dozen boys wooing me.” Miara raised
an eyebrow. “I’m disappointed.”
Sakura sighed wistfully—so, was that what it was
like to have a mother?
“Sa-ku-ra-chan!” called out Chiharu. “Come, we’re taking a class
photo!”
“Go now,” Miho said, pushing Sakura along. She
looked around at the familiar faces of the Seijou Junior High third years—she
would miss them when they all went to high school in the spring.
Sakura handed her flowers to Touya, who gazed at
his younger sister proudly—she’d come such a long way. It seemed just a few
years ago, she was a noisy kid who always got jam stains on her uniform tie and
needed help lacing up her shoes. Now, she was this lithe creature with soulful
eyes, eyes that had seen joy and bliss, death and grief. As he watched her run
to the midst of her friends as they waited for their picture to be taken, he
realized with a pang that if that empty space beside Sakura had been filled,
would she be smiling genuinely now? It had almost been a month since the Brat
had disappeared. Touya did not know why Syaoran had left but had been relieved
and glad that the boy was gone for good from his younger sister’s life. Yet, in
the past month, he had started second guessing himself, wondering if he had
been a little sympathetic, a little more grateful for all that Syaoran had done
for Sakura, would the boy still be by Sakura’s side right now? And would Sakura
be happier today?
“Takashi-kun, don’t push me,” Chiharu exclaimed.
“Chiharu-chan, do you want know that cameras can
capture your soul onto the film? Without the soul, the body becomes a mere
ghost and—“ Takashi began.
Before Chiharu could open her mouth, his classmates
cried out, “Shut up Yamazaki-kun!”
“It is true,” Eriol defended Takashi as usual.
“There were also rumors that the soul became trapped inside the camera—and when
you printed the film, the ghost soul would be trapped in the photo, always
moving, trying to escape from the picture—“
“Sakura-chan, aren’t you going ‘hoe-e’ today?” Naoko giggled, jabbing
her friend on the arm. “I thought you’re scared of ghosts.”
“Hoe… I’m not anymore!” Sakura retorted. Not since
the haunted mansion encounter that Christmas.
“Rika-chan?”
Tomoyo said quietly.
“Yes?”
“We’ll send a copy of the yearbook and the
videotape to Terada-sensei.” Tomoyo smiled at her friend.
At this, Rika beamed as the camera flashed.
“One more time! Say cheese!” called out the photographer.
“Wait, I’m student body president!” Aki cried out.
“I should be in the center of the photo—Yamazaki-kun, your big head is covering
up my beautiful face—“
As the camera lens flashed again, Sakura realized
that everything wasn’t over yet. She could not just give up without fighting. All the memories at this school, all the precious memories with
Syaoran. He could not have left without a reason; she had to find out
the truth. She had to see him one more time.
Erika watched the schoolyard clear as students
joined their families and parted into different directions. Only she remained
now, without a single bouquet, without a single person to come see her
graduate. She held two diploma’s in her hand, which almost made up for the lack
of bouquets. Maybe she should not have dumped her last boyfriend—but that had
been months ago and she did not even remember his name. And she saw another
person who looked quite as lost as her amidst all the families walking off. But
she had her mother, as well as Eron and Nakuru with her. Still Miho was craning
her neck, looking for someone.
“He really did not show up,” Miho remarked.
“Who?”
Nakuru asked, ogling Touya, who seemed handsomer than ever now that he
graduated med school.
“Mizuki-sempai—if he flunked, he’s really in my
grade now.” Miho giggled.
“Why are you so obsessed over this Mizuki Kai?”
Nakuru asked, yawning.
“I’m not obsessed over him,” retorted Miho, hugging
the bouquet of lilies to her chest. She spotted Erika and walked up her. “Erika-sempai—you
missed so many school days and you still pulled through. Unlike
someone. Congratulations! But how did you manage, anyway?”
“I studied and took make up exams from home,” Erika
replied darkly. “Studied for the first time in my life in
fact.”
“I see—umm… I meant to give this to Mizuki-sempai,
but he’s not here… Here!” Miho thrust the bouquet of lilies into Erika’s arms.
“I don’t want it,” replied Erika.
“Throw it away then,” Miho said. “But they smell
really nice when you put them in a vase.”
“It does… smell nice,” Erika said jerkily. “By the
way, are you still looking for your brother?”
“No… he’s dead,” Miho replied.
“Said who?”
“Mizuki-sempai.”
“And you believe him?” Erika raised any eyebrow.
“I saw the grave.”
“Was it marked?”
“No.”
“Why do you believe his words then? Has he ever
told the truth before? Mizuki Kai is a notorious liar,” Erika said. “And how
does he even know your brother?”
Miho stared blankly at Erika, her head pounding
loudly. She remembered how Kai’s violet eyes had been fixated on hers that
night at the resort when she had confronted him. And he had held up the silver
locket and let it swing in a pendulum motion in front of her face. She fingered
the silver locket around her neck nervously. “Why would Mizuki-sempai lie to
me?”
“Miho. Remember.” Erika’s golden eyes glowed.
“Lift the veil from your eyes and see the bare truth as it is.”
“What is the truth?” Miho asked Erika. “Why don’t
you tell me?”
“Figure it out for yourself. That’s what I had to
do,” replied Erika, walking away from the school gates, alone. No, not alone.
She was going home to Eron.
******
Back when Sakura first captured all the Clow Cards,
when Syaoran had told her that he probably would go back to Hong Kong since his
duty was accomplished, was the first time she had felt this sort of sadness.
But at that time, she assumed that her sadness was simply because she did not
want her close friend, the one who had helped her seal the Clow Cards, to
leave. In a sense, she was thankful to Eriol for enabling Syaoran to stay in
Japan a little longer—when unnatural events began to happen with Eriol
transferring to Tomeda Elementary School, Syaoran
decided to stay on. But after all the Clow Cards had been converted to Sakura
Cards, he really had to leave for good. She thought then that he would never
return again, because she knew there was no mission for Syaoran left in Japan.
And she didn’t do anything about it then, even though the sadness consumed her
like no other emotion ever had, a sadness which only subsided when he returned.
But now, she was different. Sakura was done with waiting. She could not simply
continue on like this, not knowing where Syaoran was, what Syaoran was doing,
why he had left so suddenly. She could not spend the rest of her life waiting
for Syaoran to return.
Yukito-san had told her when she was ten that she
would one day find her most important person, and that in return, she would be
most important to him. While Syaoran was back in Hong Kong, Sakura realized
that Syaoran may indeed be that person. When he returned to Japan one autumn
day, so suddenly, Sakura could not believe he really was there to stay by her
side. Yet, month after month, through fall, then winter, then spring, summer
then fall again, he remained with her. As winter came again, she became scared
that it was time for him to leave her again—she had begun to take him for
granted. She was so glad when he told her that he had no intention of going
back—she was worried for him but selfishly relieved that he could remain by her
side. And now, as winter came to an end, Sakura realized too late that she had
lost the most important person to her, that he was already gone.
But it was too early to give up. Always, it had
been Syaoran who had come to her. Syaoran who was there when she was in danger,
Syaoran who saved her when she was weak, Syaoran who called out her name when
she was in despair and Syaoran who held her in his arms when she was sad and
weary, happy and relieved. Syaoran had always been there for her. This time,
she would be there for Syaoran. This time, she would go to him.
“Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura said, the first day of spring
vacation. She wondered how her best friend would react. This past month, Tomoyo
had been so good to her, always by her side, frequently sleeping over, making
her try on new outfits, acting as if nothing was wrong. Never once did she
mention Syaoran’s name. Sakura figured Tomoyo was being sensitive to her
feelings. But she was no longer going to avoid the situation. “Tomoyo-chan, I’m
going to Hong Kong.”
“You’re what?” exclaimed Kero-chan, sputtering out
crumbs of biscuit over Sakura’s bed.
“Finally!”
Tomoyo exclaimed setting down the botched sleeve embroidery that she had been
pretending to be engrossed in. “I thought you would never make up your mind.”
Taken aback, for this was not the response she had
expected from her best friend, Sakura stammered, “You mean you already knew?”
“I thought you would go as soon as you found out
that Syaoran was missing. Instead, you had to wait a month. Well, there’s
nothing holding us back now that it’s spring break,” Tomoyo stated. She was
relieved—for the first time in a month, some fire had come back to Sakura’s
eyes. This was the Sakura she knew.
“Us?”
“You weren’t planning on going alone, were you? I’m
hurt.” Slipping out plane tickets from her bag, Tomoyo stated, “Did you expect
that I will miss the opportunity to film a grand reunion?”
“But—“
“Besides, I don’t think your brother would be so
keen on sending you off by yourself across the sea. But if we’re going
together, it would be sort of a graduation trip,” Tomoyo said. “Don’t say
anything—just take your ticket. Think of it as my graduation present. After
all, you gave me such a lovely present.” Sakura’s graduation present had been a
violet Tomoyo-bear, completely decked in a frilly costume that Sakura had sewn
for days—nothing as elaborate as Tomoyo would make, but a good imitation.
Sakura opened her mouth and closed it again. Tomoyo
would be insulted if she refused Tomoyo’s offer, even if it was too good to be
true—she knew that she would never be able to afford an airplane ticket even if
she used up all her savings. Initially, she would have been frightened to
travel alone, but with Tomoyo, it would just be another adventure. She just
took her friends hands and held them tightly in gratitude and in relief that
Tomoyo was her best friend.
“Don’t forget I’ll be there also. Who knows Hong
Kong better than me!” exclaimed Kero-chan, flying out of the desk drawer in
Sakura’s bedroom.
“Oh, Kero-chan!” Sakura smiled and gave Kero-chan a tight hug.
“Absolutely not!” Touya exclaimed, crossing his arms.
“Onii-chan, I’m going to Hong Kong whether you let
me or not. I already have tickets. Tomoyo-chan’s going with me. You don’t have
to worry about anything,” Sakura stated, arms akimbo. In despair, she turned to
her silent father. “Otou-san, please let me go.”
“I would like it better if you have an adult with
you, or if Touya-san or Yukito-san would be able to accompany you,” Fujitaka
said. “But they’re preparing for residency at Kinhoshi
Hospital, so it would be impossible for them to go with you, and seeing I have
the National Archeologists’ Association Seminar…”
“I’ll be fine, otou-san,” Sakura said pleadingly.
“I’m almost sixteen now.”
“Well, I think you’re old enough to go on a trip
without adult accompaniment, especially since you’ll be with Tomoyo-san,”
Fujitaka stated, sighing. How could he refuse his daughter? After all, her
mother had been just a little older than Sakura when she had gotten married.
“Otou-san,” Touya protested.
“Thank you, otou-san!” Triumphantly, Sakura walked back to her room to
pack her bag, turning around at the stairwell to stick her tongue out at her
brother.
******
Miho sat on her bed, staring at the picture in the
locket of her brother and her. Her brother, in his navy blue vest and pale blue
polo shirt, was smiling so brightly, one arm around her shoulders. These past
five years, she had been so fixated on finding her brother that she has lost
vision of who she really was looking for. Besides that image in the miniature
photo before her, she could no longer remember who Tanaka Mikai was. Sure,
there had been the model son, the kind and caring brother, the straight-A
student and the archery team captain. Now that she looked back, her brother had
fit all these molds, but which one truly described him? There was that polite
face he showed the world, but then, there was that far-away look in his
blue-gray eyes that she had caught once in a while, as if he belonged somewhere
else. Sometimes, very rarely, but more often towards those last several weeks,
she saw a wild, rebellious sort of look wash over his eyes, as if he was ready
to bolt any moment. Then, there was the blur of events with Kamura-sempai,
Tanaka Keisuke’s car accident, the company’s bankruptcy and debt-collectors,
her mother’s illness—and not once did Tanaka Mikai break down in front of her.
But quietly, one day, he simply disappeared from her life. And it hit her then,
that maybe she knew nothing about her brother at all.
There was a knock on the door. Her mother rolled
the wheelchair into the door. “Miho, are you still up? It’s past midnight—you
should go to bed soon.”
“Yes mother,” Miho said, rapidly shutting the
locket. The ruby gem gleamed in the dim lamplight. She had forgotten what it
was like to have a mother—Eriol never cared how long she stayed up, and in
England, she had made a habit of sleeping whenever she pleased. She stood up. “I’ll
help you to bed, ‘kaa-san.”
“That will be nice.” Miara
yawned. “I beat Eriol-kun in a game of chess. Paid him back
for last time.”
“Poor Eriol-kun.” Miho chuckled. She’d forgotten her mother’s
competitive streak. Eriol had somehow spelled the chessboard so that Miara merely had to imagine the chessboard and pieces in
her head, and she could move them with her mind. As she helped Miara into the bed, she said, “Okaa-san,
what would you think if onii-chan is… much closer to us than we think?”
“Mikai?” Miara shut her gray eyes. Miho drew the blanket of her
mother’s thin frame. It was a blessing that Eriol was such a talented cook—her
mother was gaining back weight rapidly, though she would probably never be as
healthy and sturdy as she used to be. Then again, her mother used to have the
stamina of a bull, her father used to say. “Hmm…” She was quiet for so long
that Miho realized that her mother had already fallen asleep.
Quietly, Miho turned off the light and shut the
door to the room, which was adjacent to her own room.
Eriol’s own chamber was lavish in black velvet and
golden trimmings. He slept in a king-size canopy bed and wore satin nightgowns.
Today, she caught him leaning back in an armchair with a burgundy nightgown
over his pajamas, glasses put aside.
“Tough game?”
Miho asked, entering the room. Eriol looked up to her. “I heard my mother beat
you in a game of chess?”
“She’s a fierce opponent,” he replied.
“Sorry—okaa-san’s a bit
pushy,” Miho said.
Eriol smiled. “It’s alright—it reminds me of
someone.”
“I still can’t believe you graduated—school’s going
to be so boring with all of you in high school.” Miho sat down on the edge of
Eriol’s bed.
“In a year, you’ll graduate from junior high also,”
said Eriol.
“That’s a long time from now,” retorted Miho.
“But it will pass in a flurry,” replied Eriol.
“As did the time that I spent right by him,
thinking he would tell me the truth, waiting in vain,” said Miho with a tinge
of bitterness.
“You’re not talking about your brother, are you?”
Eriol reached over for his glasses.
“Why did he tell me that Tanaka Mikai is dead?”
Miho asked. “It doesn’t make any sense at all. After all, it was a lie that was
going to be uncovered so easily. And, whose graveside was it, then, that he
showed me? It couldn’t be just any grave, because he seemed too affected by it.
And why didn’t you say anything to me, all this time, letting me believe all
this?”
“You seemed convinced by him for a while—why did
you suddenly come about to this conclusion?” Eriol asked.
“I don’t know… It seemed logical at that time, his
explanation. I remember he held up this silver locket, and then I don’t
remember much after that, except for his voice, such a lulling voice.” She drew
out the locket and handed it to Eriol. “There isn’t some spell on it, is
there?”
With seasoned fingers, Eriol stroked the surface of
the locket, tracing the engravings and the smooth ruby stone embedded in the
locket. “It’s an ancient locket, but I don’t see any other power to it than the
olden powers sealed within it.”
“It’s almost as if he hypnotized me with his
voice,” Miho said. “So that I won’t question him any further and take his words
in without any suspicion. Does that make any sense? I’ve always suspected him,
but I couldn’t catch concrete proof until I saw that locket on him. But, if he had the power to make me believe in something completely
ludicrous, than he probably has the power to make me forget everything, no?
Then, why did he just alter my memories just enough to make me believe my
brother is dead? Why not just let me forget everything?”
“Tinkling with memory is risky business,” replied
Eriol, still staring at the locket. He fingered the M. M. engraved on the side.
“You don’t know when memory will be recovered, how it would resurface, what
parts will be remembered.”
“That doesn’t explain, why such an elaborate lie
that can be seen through so easily?” Miho stated.
“Maybe, deep down inside, he wanted to be caught,”
Eriol murmured as he returned the locket, almost reluctant to let it go from
his hands. “Good night Miho. Sweet dreams.”
******
It was rare that Sakura had one-on-one time with
Rika, since out of her friends, Rika always had the most after-school lessons,
and her mother was strict about curfew time. Yet, Sakura felt compelled to
check on Rika after graduation—they had sent the graduation tape to
Terada-sensei, but hadn’t heard back from him yet.
“This is such a cute place,” Rika said, looking
around the café decorated with their Piffle Princess mascot in pink and white.
“I’ve always wanted to come to Piffle Café but we’ve always been so busy with
our studies.”
“I heard from Tomoyo-chan that you’re going to Hong
Kong for spring break,” Rika remarked, sipping on her cup of green tea latte.
“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Sakura said.
“To see Li-kun?”
Sakura nodded, blushing deeply as she stared into
her mug of hot chocolate.
“You know, I used to quite scared
of Li-kun when he first transferred from Hong Kong,” Rika admitted. “But I grew
to realize that he had a gentle heart. I don’t know if you know, because you’ve
always been close with him—but he’s nicer to all of us too, because he knows
we’re your friend. When we were doing the Star-Crossed rehearsals, I had
trouble memorizing the lines, Isada-kun, who played
Lord Montague used to give me a hard time. So, Li-kun he used to practice them
with me, in between scenes, backstage, and I know he doesn’t particularly enjoy
acting.”
At this, Sakura smiled wistfully. “That’s right, he
did play the part of your son—but you never seemed nervous on stage as Lady
Montague.”
“That’s because I couldn’t show my stage fright in
front of Terada-sensei,” Rika said.
Twirling the whipped cream into the frothy drink
with her spoon, Sakura said, “Have you contacted Terada-sensei?”
“No—he’s moved away and changed his phone number,”
Rika replied staidly. “My mother monitors all my calls and everybody I meet
now—I can’t do anything about it.”
“But Terada-sensei loves you,” Sakura protested.
“Sometimes, love is not enough,” Rika said slowly,
looking up at her friend with her dark brown eyes. “But I’m okay. I think I
needed this time to clear my head and think things through. I want to step away
and try to become the best version of myself before showing up to see
Terada-sensei again. I know I have many flaws—“
“No you don’t, Rika-chan!” Sakura said indignantly.
“You’re so sweet, smart, talented at the piano—“
“You think well of me because you’re my friend,
Sakura-chan.” Rika smiled. “But I know my flaws. I’m awfully shy and awkward
with making new friends—I freeze up and can’t talk in public. I’m not outgoing
like Naoko-chan or Chiharu-chan, and I’m not particularly athletic and
energetic like you either, Sakura-chan, or a good listener and role model like
Tomoyo-chan. I’m just quiet, boring me. I’m not strong enough to stand up to my
parents, either—I love and respect them very much, so it’s difficult for me to
disobey them. I know all this, but I’ve done nothing about it, because
Terada-sensei liked me just the way I am. But now, I’m going to work hard at
becoming a woman that Terada-sensei can proudly have by his side as a comrade,
not the quiet, mouse-like me as a student with him as a mentor.”
Sakura gazed at Rika in awe, for she had expected
her friend to be dejected or teary—instead, Rika was still calm and composed,
looking more radiant and feminine than ever before.
When they parted, Rika smiled and said, “Good luck
with Li-kun!” With a wave, she left since she had piano lessons even though it
was spring break.
Thus, Sakura found herself admiring Rika’s
resilience as she walked past the Tsukimine Shrine on her way back home. The
stately sakura tree was yet bare—the flowers were
late this season. She walked further down the road and came by Yukito-san’s
house. She remembered the days she felt so giddy rollerblading by his house in
the morning, in the hopes that he was up. Back then, she would be so happy when
he threw her a lemon drop or a caramel, and it would put her into a good mood
for the rest of the day.
“Sakura-chan, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen
you pass by here,” Yukito commented as he walked out of the gates.
“Yukito-san!”
Sakura exclaimed. Gone were the days when she would turn bright red and be lost
in lightheaded amour. But being Yukito always left her a pleasant feeling
inside.
“I was heading towards your house, anyway. Your
father invited me over for curry. So I prepared some cookies for dessert. Do
you think this is enough?” He pointed to the huge backpack he was carrying.
“Hoe—yes.”
They walked down the road together to the Kinomoto
residence. Yukito couldn’t help munching on a cookie—he offered a bear-shaped
one to Sakura. “I heard you’re going to Hong Kong, Sakura-chan?”
“Yes.”
“And your brother threw a hissy fit?”
Sakura nodded, still holding her cookie.
Yukito sighed. “I tell him to grow up, but he never
listens. It’s because he’s so protective of you.”
“I know,” Sakura said.
“Li-kun’s back in Hong Kong, I also heard,” Yukito
commented, glancing at Sakura with narrowed golden-brown eyes.
“News seems to travel fast,” Sakura remarked, taken
aback by Yukito’s statement. She had never figured out how much Yukito shared
her brother’s opinion on some things. Lately, she noticed that Yukito defended
Syaoran a lot more. Then again, Yukito’s mild personality permitted little room
for bickering and squabbling.
“Cerberus let me know,” was Yukito’s reply.
Sakura stumbled over a rock on the ground. It was still
nerve-wrecking to hear Yukito talk so frankly about the world of Clow. She
still liked to think of him separately from Yue.
Yukito halted also. “Do you remember, some years
ago, when I told you that someday you would find the person who you like the most?
Did you find your number one person yet?”
This was the first time Yukito had ever brought up
that day to her. In a sense, she was surprised that he still remembered what he
told her, because she had always considered his words more chosen to console a
crying kid, rather than as a serious conversation that he would recall five
years later. “Yes, I did.”
“And it feels different than you ever felt towards
me, doesn’t it?” Yukito asked slowly, looking down at the girl standing in
front of him, the younger sister of his most beloved, the
one person he had tried hardest not to hurt.
“Yes, it does,” Sakura replied, looking up into
Yukito-san’s eyes, to let him know that she really meant her words, that she no
longer stung from that incident five years ago when her first confession had
been rejected by him. Because that moment had been her
growing point. It had helped her realize an even more important feeling,
blinded to her because of her adulation of Yue’s human self. And she finally
said the words that she had been afraid to say all these years, because she did
not want to hurt him, because she knew he had been trying to protect her back
then. “But Yukito-san, my feelings to you back then were not completely like my
feelings for my father.”
“I know,” he replied softly.
“But thank you, Yukito-san, for your words then.
Because they helped me realize who really was my most important person.”
“Sakura-chan…” Yukito smiled warmly, for the first
time feeling exonerated from breaking young Sakura’s heart. He also felt a pang
because he realized his little Card Mistress had truly grown up.
“What are you two talking about?” Touya asked
jealously, walking up behind the two with a bag of groceries.
“Nothing,” Yukito and Sakura said in unison. Touya
glared at the two suspiciously as they walked back to the Kinomoto residence.
******
Mizuki Kai stood by the empty bedside with a
bouquet of lilies. He went to the bathroom and filled up a vase halfway with
water and set in by the nightstand. Then, he arranged the flowers into the
case. The fresh scent of the flower almost drowned out the stale hospital smell
of the room. A photo frame was laid face down on the nightstand, and he picked
it up. He almost dropped the photo again—it was a family photo, his father and
mother linking their arms around Miho and him. They were all smiling widely—he
remembered the occasion; it had been Miho’s ninth birthday. Probably
the last happy gathering. It had been so long since he had seen his
father’s face. Tanaka Keisuke, the man who had been as mild and temperate as
Mizuki Miara had been fiery and temperamental. Even
when he was younger, Kai remembered he couldn’t help feeling that his father
might have been happier had he not inherited the burdens of managing a
large-scale company in such a cutthroat industry. And his mother had been so
youthful and beautiful—she almost looked like their sister with her long auburn
hair—slightly golden-tinged like his own. He had forgotten how her eyes used to
twinkle so merrily, before the company went bankrupt, before his father’s
accident, before everything fell apart. He had also forgotten how one could
smile so carefree and genuine.
“What are you doing there, Mizuki-sempai?” came a crisp voice from the doorway.
Kai almost dropped the photo again—he was so rarely
caught off guard, but he had been utterly absorbed in the photograph. It took
all of his usual suaveness to reply, “Hello Miho. Long time no see.”
“Funny to find you here, out of all places when
I’ve been looking for you for a month,” Miho continued, entering into the room
slowly. “This is my mother’s hospital room, you know. Or should I say, our mother’s
room.”
“I’m on duty to change the sheets—making up for
missing all those volunteer days,” Kai said, refusing to look into Miho’s eyes,
a task made easier because of his blue-gray tinted glasses. He deliberately
ignored her last comment. She couldn’t have found out—because he made sure she
wouldn’t. But what did she mean?
“She’s no longer here, you know.” Miho walked right
up to the nightstand and opened the empty drawer. “Okaa-san’s
health has improved so much, she has finally been discharged. She’ll be staying
with me at Eriol’s house. Eriol’s house is close to the hospital so that she
can have regular checkups easily.”
“That’s great,” Kai said, unable to contain a
sincere smile of relief.
“It is. I came to check if she has left anything
behind.” Miho reached out and grabbed the picture frame from Kai’s hand. “Oh
she has.” She slipped the photo into her bag. Then she turned to the
nightstand. “The vase too. I bought it for her in
England.” She yanked the stems out of the lavender glass vase and dumped the
lilies into the trashcan. “So, Mizuki-sempai, can you explain to me why I
shouldn’t find it very odd to find you here out of all places?”
“I told you, I’m just here to clean up the room—“
“The show is over. Just look at me and tell me the
truth for once, onii-chan,” Miho
said.
“What… did you call me?” Kai’s voice fell flat.
“Did you think you can hide it from me forever? Did
you think I was stupid, that I wouldn’t notice?” Miho demanded. “That I will always fall for your lies?”
“You’re mistaken. You saw for yourself. Your
brother is dead—has been for years,” Kai said.
“Stop lying to me, onii-chan!” Miho clamped her
hands over her ears. “I don’t want to listen you your
lies anymore!” Angry tears streamed down her face. She was trembling, not from
sorrow but full rage. That her brother could stand before her so emotionless.
“Why do you still think that I am your brother?”
“Just stop it, now!” Miho picked up the vase, still
filled with water, and flung the water over Kai’s head. “Do you think I’m
blind? That I can’t believe what’s in front of my own two eyes? Okaa-san may not be able to see now, but I can see very
clearly.”
Kai’s hair was plastered against his forehead and
the water dripped onto his black button-down shirt.
“Look at yourself in the mirror—what more physical
evidence do I need? How long did you think you can hide from me? Why don’t you
take those blasted glasses off and just look at me with straight eyes; then,
try telling me those lies again,” Miho stated, reaching out and snatching away
Kai’s glasses. As she expected, his eyes were the cloudy gray-blue of a stormy
sky, not the uncanny violet it was the night at the ski lodge. And Kai stared
straight into her own steel gray eyes, his gaze neither wavering nor hesitant.
Realizing he was no way to snake out of this one,
he asked slowly. “Why did you wait so long to confront me?”
“It’s you—you’ve been avoiding me. I’ve always
suspected. Maybe I’ve tried to deny it, because I’ve always despised you. But
that doesn’t change the fact, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t.”
No, this wasn’t supposed to happen this way. She was
finally reunited with her brother, but what was this sense of distance? This
wasn’t her brother. He was not the Mikai she had been looking for all this
time. Miho yanked the silver locket from her neck and threw it at Kai’s face.
It smacked him on his cheek, leaving a red mark, and fell to the floor,
open-faced. “Take this with you. I don’t want anything that reminds me of you,”
Miho exclaimed. “I detest you more than anyone else in the world,” she said
with such contempt in her voice that Kai staggered back. He could not hold his
little sister—she could not bear his touch. He could not speak to her—she would
not listen. He could not apologize because she would never forgive him. Because betrayal of blood was the worst of betrayals. And he
had hurt Miho more than he had ever set out to.
Kai instinctively reached for his sister.
“Stay away from me,” Miho snapped, almost with a
desperate plea by the end of her sentence. “Please.”
Those words stung even more than the locket thrown
at him. “As you wish.”
“And I don’t want to see you again,” she said,
leaving the room without turning back, slamming the door behind her.
Bending over, Kai picked up the locket. On the
right oval, there was the picture of him and Miho. Ah, had there really been a
time when he was this happy? And on the left side, he found that Miho had
inserted a picture of his father and mother from one of their anniversaries.
This was the expected outcome, wasn’t it? But why did this juvenile desire to
weep like a child rise within him? Instead, he burst out laughing. Laughing at his own miserable foolishness.
*******
The next morning, at the break of dawn, Sakura
lugged her trunk down the stairs. Kero-chan, still sleeping, was tucked into
her purse. She was startled to find her brother, arms crossed, blocking the
doorway.
“Onii-chan!”
Sakura tugged at her braided pigtail guiltily. “’Nii-chan. I’m sorry—I have to go. Let me pass.”
“You can tell me the truth. You’re going to see the
Brat, aren’t you?” Touya remarked dryly.
“If I tell you I’m not, I’ll be lying,” Sakura
replied, eyes downcast. “But onii-chan, please understand. I need to see him. I
need to find out what happened. Please, I beg you. Just let me see him one more
time.”
“He left you without telling you—again. What are
you expecting from him? He left you once, he will
leave you again, without any sweat. You’re only making things worst for
yourself. And your body is still weak, still recovering—“
Touya was cut off.
“I’m going to go whether you give me permission or
not. I would rather you just let me go. Tomoyo-chan’s van is waiting outside.”
Sakura dropped her trunk and flung her arms around her brother’s neck. “I’ll be
fine, onii-chan. I’m a big girl now.” Then, grabbing her trunk again, she
pushed past her brother and ran towards the black van waiting outside.
Watching his sister ushered into the van by the
Daidouji chauffeur, Touya sighed in relent. He called out scowling, “Be careful
and watch out for pickpockets!”
The last time Sakura had left the country was for
the trip to New York over a year ago. Everything had changed since then, and
Sakura felt slightly queasy realizing that this was the first time she was
doing something this bold and spontaneous. What would she say when she saw
Syaoran? What if he didn’t want to see her? What if he was not there? Sakura
stood at the boarding gate with a pounding heart, clutching her passport and
boarding pass.
“It will be all right, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said,
squeezing her friend’s hand.
Nodding, Sakura slipped her hand into her pocket to
feel the hard lump of the broken crystal necklace that Syaoran had given her
for Christmas. Syaoran had always come for her. He had always been by her side
when she needed him the most. Did he ever need her? She would find out.
“My, my, such beautiful girls traveling on their
own? Not such a good idea, I daresay,” came a low male voice behind them.
Tomoyo and Sakura jumped and turned around to face
a young man in a black leather jacket and a black cap low on his head to hide
his face.
“Kai-kun!”
Sakura exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I cannot let two lovely young ladies travel
unescorted, can I?” Kai said, grinning and holding up his boarding pass.
“No way!”
Sakura’s jaw dropped. “You’re coming to Hong Kong with us?”
“Oh joy, another person added to
the mission rescue the Brat squad,” Kero-chan muttered from Sakura’s
bag.
“Is it safe for you to be traveling?” Tomoyo asked.
“I thought the police were still on the lookout for Kaitou Magician.”
“But a gentleman can surely not let two young girls
travel alone in a dangerous, foreign city,” Kai stated. “Duty calls.”
“Probably the most dangerous thing in the city is yourself,” Sakura muttered. Nonetheless, she could not help
feeling relieved to have Kai by her side, because out of anyone, Mizuki Kai
knew his way around everywhere.
“You gals must be flattered to have such a
handsome, talented escort,” Kai stated, slinking his arms around both girls’
shoulders as they boarded the JAL plane.
“Oh just admit you’re going because you’re worried
about Meilin-chan!” retorted Sakura, taking the first class seat next to
Tomoyo.
“NOT!” exclaimed Kai from the seat behind them,
taking a glass of orange juice from the stewardess and chugging it down.
Tomoyo and Sakura glanced at each other, nudging
each other, trying to keep a straight face. In return, they were pelted by
peanuts from behind them. When Sakura glanced back, she found Kai angelically
crunching on salted peanuts, listening to his soundproof headphones. Thanks Kai-kun, for worrying.
The airplane whirred as it glided down the runway,
ready for take off. Tomoyo clutched Sakura’s hand. Turning to her best friend,
Sakura smiled tightly. This was the first time she was taken initiative. She
did not know what she would say to him when she saw him. All she knew was that
she had to see him again. As if Tomoyo sensed the sequence of thoughts going
through Sakura’s mind, Tomoyo squeezed her hand comfortingly. Thank you Tomoyo, for always being the best
friend anyone could ask for. If you ever need anything, I will always be there
for you, so that I could repay the gratefulness I feel at this moment.
The airplane soared off into the sky, passing
through layers of clouds and emerging high above the world. Syaoran, just wait. I’m coming. This time, I’ll find you…
******
Hong Kong…
“This hotel room is amazing!” Sakura gasped as they
stepped into their room in the Shangri-la Hotel in
Hong Kong. The gold-gilded furniture, rich verdant carpet, two queen size beds
with satin sheets, brocaded curtains, flat-screen TV—everything was so fancy
that Sakura almost felt blinded by the luxury. “I was not expecting anything
like this. I mean, it’s not like I’m here on vacation or anything.”
“I’m sorry—my mother found out that we’re going on
a trip to Hong Kong, and she couldn’t help booking this room for us—it’s the
suite she uses when she’s on business trips. She’s a frequent customer here,
so…” Tomoyo shrugged. She knew that her mother probably had called up the
manager and grilled them, making sure that their accommodation was top-class.
There was a luxurious basket of fruits, and another of chocolate, cookie and
nuts laid out on the table. “You can say this is her
graduation present to us.”
“Hoe! I’m
not complaining—this is just more than I’ve ever expected. I’m so grateful—I
don’t think I would know how to make a hotel reservation on my own,” Sakura
said. With her own savings, she probably would have had enough money to take
the bus to the airport. “Please send my thanks to your mother.”
“Of course.
Oh, Sakura-chan, check out the view. It’s marvelous!” Tomoyo exclaimed, opening
the curtains, greeted by the sight of Hong Kong nightscape with the luminous
lighting of the high-rise buildings against the turbulent sea. Though she knew
they were not here for vacation, Tomoyo could not help wanting to keep Sakura’s
mind off all the unpleasant events of late.
“Ah, there really is no place like Hong Kong,”
asserted Kero-chan, wriggling out of Sakura’s bag.
“Wonderful indeed!” stated Kai, walking into the
suite and helping himself to an apple in the fruit basket. “Perfect place for a
honeymoon—oh wait, both of you are single. What a pity.”
“Kai-kun!”
Sakura glared at him. “How did you get into our room?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be
impending upon our two princess’ privacy.” Kai tossed the apple pit into the
trash.
“Where are you staying?” Kero-chan asked
suspiciously.
“Next doors,” Kai replied, holding up his card key.
“Please don’t tell me that’s a coincidence,”
Kero-chan remarked from the chocolate box—he had buried himself in it the
moment they entered the room and had devoured the entire content of the
three-tier assortment of Godiva treats.
“No, I just happen to be a shareholder of this
hotel,” Kai stated, shrugging. “And they just like to put me in the best room
possible when I do stay here—which is next to never.”
Scrutinizing Kai’s poker face, Sakura sighed in
defeat—she could never tell when Kai was telling the truth of joking.
”Oh ho ho! So now begins the Hong
Kong Adventure 2!” Tomoyo stated into her camcorder. Her amethyst eyes
were fixed upon Mizuki Kai—the person who was probably hurting more than Sakura
right now. She was not as close to Kai as Sakura and Syaoran were—probably that
was why she was able to gaze at him with more of an objective eye. Kaitou
Magician was an enigmatic character, one who had somehow used his carefree ease
as a disguise to his morbid resignation to life. He was unpredictable, not
quite dependable because he was so calculating and yet so useful because he was
unexpectedly resourceful and had no regard for law. He was also Sakura’s trump
card because he was so capricious in that sense.
“Might our little songstress be pining for a creepy
four-eyed sorcerer now that you are in the city of his origin?” Kai whispered
lowly into Tomoyo’s ears, stepping up right behind her.
Tomoyo jumped slightly—it unnerved her when Kai
walked around so stealthily. Since Tomoyo was a keen observer, even without the
aid of special powers, she always watched people enter and leave a room. But
Kai was the only person who could move about escaping her notice.
“He really knows how to mess with people’s minds,”
Kero-chan grumbled as Kai walked out the room, tossing another apple into the
air and catching it. Kero-chan gazed at his Card Mistress who was lost in
thought, gazing at the moon shining over the ocean. It had been five years
since their last visit to Hong Kong. Not much had changed with the city, but so
much had changed for Sakura. For his Card Mistress’ sake, Kero-chan hoped that
all would be all right with the Brat. After all, he personally cared little for
Syaoran. Well, maybe a little, but who wouldn’t for one who had done so much
for Sakura? Kero-chan did not know whether this would turn into some sort of
rescue mission or a romantic entourage—after all, those little kids had grown
up now—he was not looking forward to either option. But Kero-chan did not have
the heart to tell his Card Mistress that should the Elders wish to keep
Syaoran, there was no one would could defy the most powerful clan in Hong Kong,
not even Sakura.
Pressing her hand against the cool glass of the
window, Sakura stared hard into the blur of light outside. For a month, she had
tried to block out all thought of Syaoran, to somehow make it through school
and graduate. But ever since she had recieved her
mother’s letter, all she could think about was Syaoran, because she believed
she would be able to see him very shortly. She would only be able to read her
mother’s letter after she accomplished all the great things her mother had by
the age of sixteen. Had her mother ever seen the city that Li Ryuuren was born
in? The Hong Kong nightscape was so dazzling—so grand and somewhat foreign. In
the distant harbor, she saw a lighthouse blinking steadily. Somewhere out there
was Syaoran.
******
The only thing to be grateful about going to school
in Hong Kong was that winters here were much warmer than Japan. Finally school
ended—junior high was over. Li Meilin gathered everything from her desk and
dumped it into her book bag. She slipped on a red jacket and left the classroom
with heavy feet. Her third year of junior high had been spent straddled between
traveling back and forth between Japan and Hong Kong. Somehow, she had passed
all her classes but she did not care at all what scores were written in the
report card that she had slipped into her bag. She wished she could be back in
Japan— Sakura and the others must have had a nice graduation ceremony—if she
had her cell phone, she might call and ask how it was. But no, she couldn’t
think of them. Clutching her jacket tighter around her, Meilin walked towards
the school gates. She couldn’t help wondering if that wretched thief managed to
graduate at all. It bothered her that memories of him, the husky low voice he
used to call her name, the way his strong fingers ran through her hair, the way
his lips curved into that spiteful smile when he told a lie, all sneaked into
her thoughts quite frequently these days when she was unaware. Though she tried
not to think of him, she could not help recalling how strangely lonely his eyes
were that day by the mysterious graveside on days like this, when the sky was
overcast and grayish as if right before a storm.
“Meilin!” a boy from her class called out, running
to catch up with her. “Meilin, I was wondering, are you doing anything special
for spring break? I was wondering if you wanted to,
well… hang out if you don’t have any other plans.”
“Eh?” Meilin struggled to recall her classmate’s
name. The only reason why she remembered was because they boy spiked his hair
up in a similar style to that thief. “Yaomin. Well, I—“
Meilin felt a strong grip around her shoulders that
pulled her against a strong chest. “Sorry, she’s spending time with me,” said a
suave voice. Yes, it was that low, husky voice she heard in her ears when she
closed her eyes at night, thinking of Japan. But this voice was real. Meilin
craned her neck back to see the familiar chiseled jaw-line and straight nose,
the brand-name glasses shading his eyes. Her stomach tingled.
“Ah, sorry, Meilin—I didn’t know you had a
boyfriend!” Yaomin stammered, gulping up at the
menacing person standing in front of him, someone who looked like he was a
motorcycle gang leader in his black leather jacket and ripped black jeans,
earrings gleaming from his lobes and exuded a tough, nonchalant attitude. “Bye
Meilin—“ And he dashed out the school gates.
Spinning around, Meilin stared in disbelief. There
he stood in front of her, with that aggravating smirk on his face, hands in
pockets, nonchalantly leaning back against the school gates to give her room to
throw a tantrum. And she did as she sputtered, “You! Why are you here?” Who did
he think he was, always just showing up as he pleased, popping up so
unexpectedly?
“Missed me, baby?” Kai winked over the bridge of
his sunglasses, looking as mischievous and charming as ever. He had already
attracted a crowd of girls, whispering and nudging each other. They wondered if
he was a movie star or maybe a rock band member.
“You wish.” Meilin rolled her eyes. Why was her
heart thumping? That’s right, she didn’t expect him,
that was all. But why did she want to collide into his chest and hug him
tightly to see if he was real? But her legs were planted on the ground. “What
are you doing here, anyway?”
“Why didn’t you pick up your cell phone?” Kai
demanded. “The one I gave you.”
Meilin shrugged. “It ran out of battery.”
“And your Hong Kong cell phone as well as your
house phone?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I was busy studying for finals
unlike somebody,” Meilin snapped. “How did you find me, anyway?”
Kai reached over and ran a light finger over
Meilin’s left wrist. She shivered at his touch. His hand was so cold. Glancing
at her wrist, she saw the gleaming silver bracelet embedded with a microchip, that he had fastened on her months ago. The only
jewelry that she wore was that and the golden chain which she wore fastened
right above the silver bracelet, Kai’s Christmas present to her. Then, she
realized that he knew where her school was, any way, and at this time, it was
only expected she would be at school. “Did you miss me, Mei-chan?”
“No,” Meilin said flatly. “Well, if you excuse me,
my chauffeur is waiting. Have a good trip.”
“So cold to an old friend,” Kai murmured, stepping
closer to Meilin. He whispered in her ears, “The other bracelet has a lie
detector. It’s indicating to me that you missed me very very
much.”
“Sure, like I would believe you.” But Meilin
fingered her golden bracelet nervously nonetheless.
“Just kidding.” Kai grinned. “But I can tell that in your eyes,
you were thinking of me. Right? Or would you rather
that I have left you to that classmate of yours? He was pretty good-looking, I
admit. Not as handsome as me though.”
Meilin had to agree with that—in terms of being
handsome, she found Syaoran and a handful of her Li cousins very handsome. But
Kai had a strangely captivating face that no one would forget, especially his
eyes. “Stop paying around, Kai, I can’t talk to you. Just go away and leave me
in peace.” Meilin glanced around, hoping to convey irritation to Kai despite
her weak-kneed state. But she couldn’t help wondering if there was the
slightest twinge of jealousy in Kai’s voice.
“I guess you’re being watched also?” Kai’s lips
curled in a furtive smile. “Shall we get some privacy then?” Without warning,
he reached out and grabbed Meilin’s arm, then dragged her along, sprinting down
the soccer field and leaped over the walls farthest from the school entrance
driveway.
“What are you doing, Kai? Let go of me!” Meilin
protested in gasps as gravel got kicked up and her book bag banged against her
legs. But Kai was running so fast it took all her breath to just keep up with
him. “I’m supposed to return straight home after school—I’ll get in trouble.
The driver will report back to the Clan and—“
“Meilin, I’ll kiss you if you don’t just shut up,”
Kai shouted. And that shut her up.
And suddenly, they found themselves outside of the
school gates, thrust into the chaos of one of the busiest commercial cities.
Meilin found it easier to just let Kai lead her through the crowded Hong Kong
streets, through furtive allies that she didn’t even know existed, and follow
without fighting against him. Why was he here? Was he alone? Why, oh why did he
have to reenter her life just at this point?
Soon, the two found themselves weaving in and out
of Bird Street, probably Meilin’s favorite part of Hong Kong. “So pretty,” she
sighed, gazing at the multi-colored parrot in its elegant iron-wrought cage.
She realized that Kai was still holding her hand. Blushing, she said, “You can
let go of me now. I won’t run away. Really, what is it with you? Taking people
to places against their will, always turning up spontaneously and creating a
mess. What am I supposed to tell mother when I go back home?”
“Just tell her the truth. That
you got kidnapped by the Kaitou Magician. Again.”
Kai grinned slowly.
Why, oh why did her stomach flutter like this when
he smiled? She blamed it on running so much. “Well, are you going to tell me
why you are here?”
“Sakura-chan’s here. You can probably guess why.
And Tomoyo-chan, Kero-chan and I are here for moral support.” The smile dropped
from his face as he turned solemn. “And if you care to fill me in with the
missing gaps. What’s going on with the Clan?”
Unable to face him, Meilin replied slowly, “I don’t
know. I haven’t seen him yet since he returned.”
“How come?
He’s your cousin.”
“Things have… changed within the Clan,” Meilin
said. “I’m not really a part of the inner circle anyway. Only reason I knew
what was going on was through Syaoran, because I was close friends with him.
And Syaoran’s been confined to the main headquarters. He’s not allowed to meet
anyone, so I’ve been told.”
“Are they punishing him for defying the Clan’s
orders?” Kai asked. “Why did he return so suddenly?”
“Well, the Great Elder is ill,” Meilin began. “And
since Uncle Wutai has taken control of Clan affairs, everything’s become
stricter.”
“You really don’t know what’s going on at all, do
you?” Kai sighed. “Maybe it’s better for you that way.”
“It makes me so mad,” Meilin continued, stopping in
the middle of the streets and staring at her feet. “I can’t save him. I’m
powerless. They won’t even let me enter the main house—because I’m a nobody in the Clan. We’re here, in the same city again,
and I can’t do anything for him.”
Patting Meilin on the head, Kai said, “Well,
Syaoran’s a big boy. He knows what he’s doing.”
“But I don’t understand how he could just come back
so abruptly, after stating so adamantly that he’ll stay in Japan with Sakura,”
Meilin stated. “Did anything happen between them? I heard about the Plague and
all in the news—it was a dark force, wasn’t it? But Sakura-chan sealed it,
right? It must have been hard. But it’s Sakura-chan, so she must have managed
fine.”
At that moment, Kai did not have the heart to tell
Meilin the grueling details—as he had suspected, Clan affairs were kept
strictly internal. At the same time, the Elders realized the intimate bond
between Meilin and her cousin and thus kept her closely monitored and watched.
They were all puppets of the Clan.
******
Sakura had visited Syaoran’s house once before, six
years ago, when she had won the trip to Hong Kong. She had met his mother and
four sisters and even slept at Syaoran’s grand mansion, along with Tomoyo, her
brother and Yukito-san. At that time, she had been in awe of how large and
beautiful of a house Syaoran lived in—it was grander than anything she had
imagined. The estate had extensive gardens, well cared for by the best
botanists in Hong Kong. When Sakura had mentioned it to Syaoran, after the
trip, that she had been surprised by the life style Syaoran lead back in Hong Kong,
Syaoran had replied that his house was nothing compared to the Li Clan Main
House, that the Li’s owned much more extensive land throughout Hong Kong. It
was then that Sakura first gained some sort of inkling of what kind of power
the Li Clan wielded in Hong Kong.
When Sakura got off the tram with Tomoyo, she could
feel her heart pounding as each step took her closer to Syaoran’s house. They
finally walked up the gates of the estate upon the hills. The butler answered
the door and led them inside, almost as if they had been expected. Sakura and
Tomoyo walked through the beautiful gardens, fragrant with the scent of peony.
The girls were lead to the parlor, where they sat down on the luscious silken
couch. While the last time she had been there, Sakura had been bubbling with
excitement, gaping at the rich tapestries and ornate bric-a-bracs, this time,
Sakura’s eyes were fixated on the tiny flower patterns on the green carpet. She
was gripping Tomoyo’s hand so tightly that Tomoyo felt the circulation getting
cut off.
Finally, a tall, stately woman in an elaborately
embroidered silken hanfu,
her jet-black long hair tied from her face, entered the room.
Immediately, Sakura stood up and bowed deeply.
Tomoyo also bowed but keenly examined the leaf pattern on Li Ielan’s robes to copy it to a new Chinese dress for Sakura.
“Kinomoto Sakura. Daidouji Tomoyo.” Ielan narrowed her amber eyes. “It has been a while. How
may I help you young ladies?”
“Please, may I see Syaoran,” Sakura burst out.
“I’m afraid I cannot let you do that.” Sakura
looked so stricken that Ielan added, “He is not
here.”
“Then where is he?” Sakura asked, glancing around
the room, as if Syaoran could be in any room in this great house.
“At a relative’s,” Ielan
replied shortly. “If that is all, I have to kindly request you girls to leave
now. I am not sure if you are aware that these are not good times for the Li
Clan. I advise you to stay out of Clan affairs—it is for the best.”
Shaking her head, Sakura exclaimed, “I must see
Syaoran! Please, let me know where I can find him.”
“Syaoran does not wish to see you, my dear girl,” Ielan said sorrowfully. “You won’t be able to see him, so I
advise you two return to Japan.”
“I just want to see him once,” Sakura said, gazing
up at Syaoran’s mother with pitiful eyes. Syaoran’s favorite shade of green, Ielan noted.
Ielan
stretched out her arm with her fan in her hand, tilting Sakura’s chin up with
the tip of the fan to see Sakura’s face properly. “I would take you to see him,
were it under my jurisdiction, but he’s currently residing in the Main House.
Outsiders are forbidden to enter there. Stop wasting your time and go back home
now. Do not seek him anymore—it will be best for both of you.”
“I just want to know if he’s all right,” Sakura
said desperately. “Please, tell me at least how he is doing!”
“He’s doing perfectly fine. I don’t know why you
would think contrary,” replied Ielan curtly. “This is
his home, where he belongs.”
Sakura stared into Ielan’s
eyes. Syaoran’s mother wouldn’t lie to her, would she? If she said Syaoran was
fine, he must be fine. Where he belongs…
That’s right. Syaoran’s place in life isn’t beside me. And my place in life is
not beside him, either. Then how can anything come from this relationship?
The two girls were escorted out of Ielan’s house.
“So, we didn’t get to see Syaoran-kun after all. I
didn’t realize he wouldn’t be home,” Tomoyo said as they walked into the tram
taking them back down the hill. It had begun to drizzle. Being prepared as
usual, Tomoyo took out from a bag of essentials she carried with her a pale
pink coat for Sakura and a lavender one for herself.
“Thanks Tomoyo,” Sakura said, shivering as she
snuggled into the warmth of the coat. Wasn’t Hong Kong supposed to be warmer
than Japan?
“Strange weather,” Tomoyo said, tying her coat belt
around her waist. “I wonder if it’s because of global warming.”
“The world is coming to and end,” replied Kero-chan
gloomily from Tomoyo’s bag.
“Oh Kero-chan—we’ll take you for dim sum tomorrow.”
Tomoyo unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it into
Kero-chan mouth.
“Maybe it’s just global warming,” said Kero-chan,
sucking happily.
Tomoyo turned to Sakura, who walked down the harbor
lost in thought. “What are you doing to do now?”
“Find Kai,” replied Sakura with new ferocity.
“Why?” Kero-chan asked from her jacket pocket.
“Because he’ll know where the Li Clan Main House
is,” replied Sakura.
******
Walking down the bustling streets of Hong Kong with
Kai was like being lead by a snake—he slithered in and out of the crowds.
Sometimes he pulled her along, other times, he let her
walk her ahead and watched from behind, like a cobra ready to pounce on a
mouse, Meilin thought.
“Well, can you at least tell me where we’re going
in such a hurry?” Meilin finally demanded, yanking her hand from Kai’s iron
grip.
Kai stopped and blinked. “Not
anywhere particularly.”
Hands on hips, Meilin demanded, “You mean you’ve
been dragging me around for hours without any reason?”
“Who said there was no reason? I just wanted to go
on a date with you!” Kai replied cheerfully.
“Stop playing your games with me,” Meilin snapped.
“You don’t know how different things are now. I can’t be doing this. Just let
me go back home. I’m already in enough trouble.”
“What happened to your adventurous streak,
Mei-chan?” Kai sighed.
“Being a Li killed it,” replied Meilin, staring at
the sky. It was such a dismal, cloudy day. Was Syaoran locked up somewhere? Did
he meet Leiyun yet? Was the Clan going to punish Syaoran, or would they give
him another chance as the Chosen One? Would Syaoran reconsider if he was given
another chance? Thus far, she had not heard of any punishment for the ex-Chosen
One, so she figured Syaoran was at least safe for now. A large plop of water
fell on her forehead. She blinked. Another fell on her forehead. She groaned as
the shower began. “This is all your fault!” she said
through chattering teeth as her wet uniform clung to her skin.
Wordlessly, Kai slipped off his leather jacket and
put it around her shoulders. He was only wearing a black sleeveless shirt
underneath. As the rain droplets clouded his sunglasses, he had slipped them
off and was looking up at the sky also with a nostalgic smile.
Hugging the leather jacket, still warm from Kai’s
body, tightly around her, Meilin asked, “What are you smiling about?”
“Anniversary,” Kai said.
“Of what?”
Meilin let out a loud sneeze in spite of herself.
“Seems like it’s always raining when I’m with you. This won’t do—my hotel’s
near by. Do you want to go there and dry up and wait until the rain ends?” Kai
asked.
“No way,” replied Meilin. The thunder rumbled in
the distance, and she jumped.
Taking her by the hand, Kai lead her through the
streets, where people were running indoors to take cover. Blinking through her
wet lashes, Meilin looked up several times to take a peek at Kai, this mystery
person who had somehow chosen to meddle in her life. Why me? She asked herself again and again what she had done to
deserve this wretched lying, two-faced thief. Yet, then, when she saw his tall,
muscular form silhouetted by the blur of the raindrops bouncing off his skin,
the way his eyes gleamed like his periwinkle earrings, the way his tousled hair
fell onto his forehead, the gel holding it up in spikes having been washed away
by the water, she could not help feeling something moving in her heart that she
had thought had long since been dead.
“If you have the money to stay at such a luxurious
hotel, please tell me why you were living in such a dismal little hole of an
apartment back when you first moved to Japan, when you kidnapped me,” Meilin
remarked as they entered the fancy hotel, embarrassed walking across the glossy
marble floor, leaving a wet trail behind her.
“The ladies seem to like expensive hotel rooms
better than dingy old studios,” replied Kai, shaking the water from his head.
“Stupid of me to ask,” Meilin muttered, feeling
wretched as water dripped from her long hair, making a pool at her feet. “So,
how many ladies have you had the pleasure of inviting thus far in your short
stay?”
“Just you.”
Kai grinned again. “Why, jealous?”
“You wish.” Meilin sneezed again.
”While I admit there’s something very appealing about a schoolgirl in a wet
uniform, I recommend that you change out of your wet things. You’ll catch a
cold.”
“No way!”
Meilin exclaimed, crossing her arms across her chest.
“There’s a bathrobe in the closet—you can wear that
until the dry cleaner brings back your uniform. I’m calling them to get my
jacket dried anyway,” Kai replied, peeling off his wet-shirt.
Turning around quickly, blushing, Meilin stammered,
“Fine, I’m changing in the bathroom.” She grabbed the bathrobe and ran to the
bathroom. Peeling out of her cold and wet uniform, Meilin sighed as she wiped
herself dry with a towel, then wrapped the warm, terry
bathrobe around her. Plopping down on the covered toilet seat, Meilin buried
her head in her hands. What was she doing? Why did she find her way here?
Because when she was with Kai, she could momentarily forget about the
dismalness of the rest of her life. Because with Kai, she
felt needed by someone. Because with Kai… because when she was with Kai,
she felt that she did not have to put up a front because he could see right
through her anyway.
“Are you finished changing? The drycleaner came,”
Kai stated, sticking his head into the bathroom.
“Don’t come in here without knocking!” Meilin
stated, throwing a shoe at his head and missing.
“You’re not even using the toilet,” Kai grumbled,
taking the jacket and the uniform and handing it to the bemused drycleaner.
“Well, aren’t you going to come out of there? If you’re hungry, we can order
room service. Since you can’t go out like that.”
Meilin glared at Kai as he tapped his foot by the
bathroom door frame. A towel was slung over his shoulder. He had changed into
dry clothes but hadn’t bothered to spike his hair up again, and they hung into
his eyes just like the picture she’d seen of him in olden days. And she
realized that it was a lovely rusty copper hue, the color of his real hair
color, she suspected. What did that mean? That he was through with disguises
and all pretenses?
“You’re going to catch a cold if you don’t dry your
hair,” Kai murmured, walking towards her and resting a hand on top of her head.
Her hair was still dripping because they were rolled into tight buns. “Why are
you sulking so much? Are you that mad because I made you come with me? Or are
you glad I’m here and this is just your way of expressing that you’re happy?”
With gentle fingers, Kai began to undo Meilin’s hair from the tight buns,
easing out the pins and the ribbons. They swished down in a mass of silky jet
black hair that reached down her back. Taking the towel from his shoulder, Kai
began to rub her head dry.
Meilin sat, letting him rub her temples with the
towel, because if felt good do have someone take care of her for a change.
After he finished, he set her on her feet. “Now, something to
eat?” Meilin nodded. Oftentimes with Kai, she realized that in the end
it always ended up with him having his own way. But she found she didn’t mind.
Half an hour, room service arrived, and Meilin
grabbed meat buns in one hand and chopsticked chunks
of fried rice into her mouth—she had been ravenous and it was well past dinner
time.
Kai chuckled, watching Meilin eat. “Why didn’t you
tell me you were this hungry?”
“I didn’t know I was hungry,” Meilin said with her
mouth full. She gulped down a cup of jasmine tea. “Why aren’t
you eating—the food’s going to be gone if you don’t eat quicker.”
Leaning closer to Meilin, Kai stared at her hard.
“See, I told you that you look better with your hair done.”
Meilin began choking on her tea. Self-consciously
tugging at the end of her long hair, Meilin looked away. “Well, so how are you
doing? You didn’t suffer from the Plague or anything, did you?”
“I’m fine,” Kai replied. “Guess what—I got caught
by Miho. We were on the school ski trip, and she saw me wearing the locket—you
know the silver one with the ruby.”
She had noticed that Kai was no longer wearing his
locket. “What did you do?”
“I hypnotized her. Told her Mikai is dead,” Kai
replied.
“Are you stupid?”
“Yeah.” Kai
sighed. “Do you think I made a mistake, lying to her like that?”
“Well, it’s your choice,” Meilin replied shortly.
“If you want her to hate you all the more when she finds out the truth, let it
be.”
Kai set down his chopstick. “I actually wanted to
tell her. But she found out before I could.”
“She found out? Even after you hypnotized her? How?” Meilin did not know how Miho would react to being
deceived like that to her face—especially by her own brother.
“It was a disguise bound to fall apart some day,”
was his matter-of-fact reply.
“And then?”
“She said she didn’t want to ever see me again.
That she detested me more than anyone else in the world. That was the day
before I came here.”
Meilin shivered at the emotionless way he said
this. “You mean you ran away, again?
Mizuki Kai, I wonder when you will stop trying to run away from everything and
just face yourself,” she sighed. “You’re just a big coward.”
“Maybe I am.” Kai stood up and walked over to the
bed, plopping down.
As they waited for the drycleaner to come back with
her uniform, Meilin sat awkwardly on the chair by the window, hugging her arms
tightly around her. The nightscape was amazing—it was rare that she got to see
her home city from so high up. Hong Kong was no doubt a beautiful place. But to
her, it was a place of imprisonment. Someday, she would leave here for good,
leave the Li Clan behind and be at a place where she could just be Meilin, not
the “girl without powers,” or “that girl who’s cousin to the Chosen One.” When
she had heard that Syaoran was no longer the Chosen One, she had been
distraught for him. Yet, she had been silently relieved also. The only loyalty
she felt towards the Clan was towards Syaoran. So long as Syaoran was the
Chosen One, she was loyal to the Li’s. But with him no longer affiliated to the
Clan, there was nothing binding her to it anymore.
“You know, Mei-chan, you actually might have a shot
at him now,” Kai remarked, rolling on his side on the bed, breaking the long
silence. “He’s powerless, you’re powerless. He’s back here, you’re back here.”
“What are you talking about?” Meilin turned around
to face Kai.
“Oh, you don’t know. Syaoran—he’s lost all his
powers because he transferred it to Sakura. To save her.
She was going to die—result of sealing the Plague and trying to save everyone.
So, our dear little wolf is utterly powerless now—which works out well for you
because now you don’t have to feel intimidated or inferior to him.” Kai
smirked.
Meilin reeled in shock at Kai’s words—what had
happened in the past months? Syaoran without power? Impossible. But it all made sense—it was something Syaoran
would do for Sakura.
“Well, does the prospect excite you?” Kai leaned
his chin on his hand from the bed.
Frowning, Meilin glared at Kai. “How dare you even
suggest something like that?”
“Because I’m jealous of him,” replied Kai flatly.
“What are you jealous of?” Meilin asked, taken
aback.
“Everything.
He’s braver than I can ever hope to be,” Kai said. “He aggravates me, the
sincerity he puts in everything. I don’t think I’d be able to sacrifice
everything for the one I love.”
“But you did, Kai. You gave up everything in order
to save Miho and your mother!” Meilin said, bolting up from her seat.
“That was me being selfish. I ran away. I thought
it was enough to restore everything lost to Miho. Mother is slowly recovering
now since Sakura sealed the Plague. But even so… I
promised I would return everything to normal, and I couldn’t.” Kai’s voice
choked up. His mother had told him they could live together again, all three of
them. It had made him so happy when she told him that. But no matter how hard
he tried, he couldn’t restore all the damage that had already been done. “For a
brief while, I thought maybe I could have returned to them. Maybe they would
forgive me. But I came here instead. I could not face them after all I’ve seen
of the world, all I’ve done. I can’t go back to being the model son, Tanaka
Mikai. Not even for Miho. It’ll suffocate me!”
And for the first time, Meilin felt that Kai was
truly being truthful to her. She realized that here was a plea to be forgiven
and comforted. Why it had to be her, she did not know. But maybe Kai had been
alone for so long that he needed the warmth of just one person, any person, and
she happened to be there. She put her arms around Kai’s head, and he leaned
against her stomach. What was this strange fluttering deep within her, as if
she was the one being comforted? She was no longer filled with pity for this
boy—no it was something else. This feeling of wanting to
soothe him, wanting to hold him and support him. He was no longer a
stranger. He was no longer that rascal thief who had kidnapped her. He was no
longer that dangerous criminal that had stumbled upon her room with a bullet
hole in his chest. He was no longer that annoying neighbor that teased her and
mocked her. He was Mizuki Kai, just a person as lost as she, as lonely as she,
as in need of another person’s warmth as she. Then, she whispered the words
that she knew he longed to hear. “Kai, it’s all right. You don’t have to try so
hard anymore. You don’t have to run. You’ve done enough already.”
Kai wrapped his arms around Meilin’s waist, drawing
her closer to him so that he could breathe in her fragrance—no, his own cologne
was drowning out her scent of orange and cinnamon. He knew he did not have to
say anything. For Meilin understood. That he was thankful to her for just
listening without judging him.
At that tranquil moment, the door swung open.
“Kai-kun, have you seen Tomoyo-chan?” Sakura asked, bursting in the room—she
had found the door ajar, for Kai had not shut it properly after the drycleaner
came. Her eyes flickered between a dark-haired girl in a bathrobe, and Kai on
the bed, then she blushed a deep crimson. “Sorry to interrupt!” Then she
rigidly closed the door and scurried away.
Heedless to the interruption, Kai’s hands inched up
Meilin’s back, playing with the ends of her slightly damp hair.
“Kai.”
Meilin frowned, trying to push Kai back. “Kai, wasn’t that just Sakura?”
“Oh… Did I forget to mention she and Tomoyo-chan
are staying next doors?”
“Yes, you did forget to mention it!” Meilin
exclaimed, the tips of her ears turning crimson.
“I don’t think she even recognized you,” Kai said,
pulling Meilin down onto his lap. Meilin collided onto his chest awkwardly.
Placing a hand firmly on his chest, Meilin pushed
him away. “Don’t even try of doing anything.”
Sighing, Kai grumbled, “Stupid Sakura… Everything
was going so smoothly.”
“Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-chan, where were you?” Sakura exclaimed, grabbing her friend’s hands as Tomoyo entered the
room, juggling a dozen different shopping bags.
“Oh, just look at all these pretty silk fabrics I
bought!” Tomoyo exclaimed, setting down shopping bags with rolls of fabric in
scarlet, cherry pink and navy blue from the night market. “They were so cheap
compared to Japan.”
“Tomoyo-chan, you won’t believe it. Kai-kun has a girl in his room!” Sakura stated. “And I
walked in on them!”
Tomoyo almost laughed because Sakura looked so
mortified—it was also amusing to see Sakura so flustered over something so
trivial. At least her mind was off Syaoran for the while being.
“He’s a grown boy. It’s natural,” Tomoyo replied
straight-faced. She thought it wise not to remind that Sakura herself had spent
a night at a hotel in Tokyo with Syaoran, not to mention that she had lived
alone with him for several months. “Who was the girl?”
“I don’t know,” Sakura stated. “I ran out too
quickly to see. What will Meilin-chan say?”
“Are you sure it wasn’t Meilin-chan?” Tomoyo
pointed out.
Sakura tilted her head. “Oh!” Then she turned pink
again.
They were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in!” Tomoyo called out.
“Tomoyo-chan!
Sakura-chan!” Meilin flew into the room, giving the
two girls a tight hug. “I missed you guys so much!”
Kai followed behind grumpily.
“Meilin-chan, is that your Hong Kong school
uniform? I’ve never seen you in it,” Tomoyo stated. “It’s really cute!”
“Isn’t it?” Meilin swirled around in her freshly
dry-cleaned and pressed gray plaid skirt and matching vest over a white blouse
and red ribbon tied around her neck. Her hair still hung loose over her
shoulders, so they almost didn’t recognize her for a second. “It looks better
on me than the Seijou uniform, I think, which is the one thing better about
going to school here. Though this is my last day wearing it,
now that I think of it. Can you believe it? We’re becoming high school
students. How was your graduation? How’s Chiharu-chan
and Naoko-chan and everyone? Do you guys have a yearbook? Did Kai even graduate
or is he lying to me?”
Sakura smiled—it was just like Meilin to talk
nonstop with so much energy. She hadn’t changed a bit.
“Meilin-chan, you look well. How have things been
lately?” Sakura asked.
“Poor Sakura-chan. You look like you came back half from dead or
something.” Meilin touched Sakura’s cheeks. “What happened?”
“She did
come back half from death,” Kai muttered. But Kero-chan sent him a warning
look.
“H-how’s Syaoran doing?” Sakura asked hesitantly.
“Well, I assume,” Meilin replied flatly.
“You mean… you haven’t seen him either?” Sakura
blinked. She thought Meilin surely would know.
“He’s in the Main House. Aunt Ielan’s
been to visit him there. She told me that he’s doing fine. His arm’s healing
well,” Meilin said.
“Oh yeah… His arm.” Sakura
recalled how Syaoran’s arm had been bitten by the Plague, paralyzing it. And
the first thing he did after he regained use of it was smash up the glass door
at the hospital in a fight with her brother.
“How did he injure it in the first place?” Meilin
asked.
“He lost his temper. With my
brother.”
Meilin giggled—she could imagine that and felt
sorry she missed the fight.
“I went to his house today,” Sakura said, toying the grapes in the bowl.
“Oh?”
“I met his mother. She told me to go back to
Japan.”
Meilin frowned. “Don’t take offense—Aunt Ielan has always been rather brusque. It’s for the best.
You know… Syaoran has been neglecting his duties. You probably heard already
how he’s no longer the Chosen One.”
“Yes, he did tell me about it.”
“But he clearly did come back to the Clan. And the
Clan took him back. That means, he’s trying to make
amends. It’ll take a while for him to regain the trust of the Clan. But at
least they’re giving him another chance. It’s best to leave him alone for now.
I’m doing the same—he didn’t even call me once since he returned. I just hear
from here and there that he’s up and about now.” Meilin realized she was
rambling now, and Kai caught her eye. Kai could see right through all her lies.
He knew she was just coming up with words to somehow reassure Sakura.
“But he never told me he was going to leave. Not a
word. And he promised me,” Sakura said.
“Well, he’s never been good with words. I mean, it
may have been a sudden decision on his part.” Meilin played with the ribbon
around her neck nervously.
“I must speak to him and figure out exactly what’s
going on,” Sakura stated. “Meilin-chan, you must tell me where the Main House
is.”
Meilin sighed. “You can’t go to the Main House.
Outsiders are forbidden.”
“Please, Meilin-chan.”
Sighing, Meilin found a notepad and began sketching
a map. “Well, here’s Syaoran’s house—you’ve been there before. And a couple
blocks down is my house. You go straight down this street and take a
right—follow the side road. Then you’ll come to the Main House—more like, it’s
a village of Li’s. There’s the main mansion, and surrounding villas occupied by
the Elders. You won’t be able to miss it. But you won’t be able to enter. I
doubt you’ll be able to see him, even if you get through all the security
guards.”
“Hoe-e… I’m not good with directions,” Sakura
lamented as she saw the intricate sketch unfolding in front of her.
“Don’t worry, I’m good at them,” Kai said.
“You’re coming too?” Tomoyo exclaimed.
“Sure, why not. Might as well put
my trade to use. Except I’ve never stolen a person before. Besides
Mei-chan, of course,” Kai replied, trying to circle and arm around Meilin’s
waist. In return, Meilin smacked him.
******
Meilin snuck back into her room at the break of
dawn, which was no easy feat as she had to climb up the huge oak tree in the
backyard—thank goodness PE was her forte. So
this is what if feels like to sneak around like Kaitou Magician. Swinging
her bag through the window in her room, Meilin then heaved herself in. She
shivered—it was a lot colder before the sun was up. Whew, at least my mother would not find out that I was out all of last
night.
To her dismay, she found that her mother was
sitting on her bed, arms crossed. Meilin stumbled and gaped at her mother.
Standing up slowly, her mother gazed at Meilin
solemnly. “Where have you been, Li Meilin?”
“I—I… I was just out with friends,” Meilin stammered.
Raising her hand, Meilin’s mother slapped Meilin
across the cheek loudly and smartly. “Li Meilin, you know better than anyone
what kind of times these are. You can’t simply just go out and do whatever you
want. You must obey the rules.”
“Why can’t I just do everything that other
teenagers get to do?” Meilin burst out, clutching her stinging cheek.
“You are not just anyone. You are a Li,” replied
her mother.
“Well, I never asked to be a Li. What’s the
point—I’m not gifted, I don’t have any special skills. But why do I have to
follow everything that the Clan says?” Meilin demanded.
“It was a mistake letting you got to Japan in the
first place—you’ve changed so much. You would never talk back to adults
before,” her mother said sorrowfully. “Meilin, everything I say is for your own
good. You don’t want to displease the Elders. They’re keeping an eye on you.
You must do you best to be on good behavior—you don’t want to garner the
Elder’s disapproval.”
“I don’t care anymore! Why should I when you won’t
let me see Syaoran!” Meilin sank down on her knees. There was a silence. There,
she had said it. It had been a taboo to even mention him, ever since he had
been disowned by the Clan. “Why can’t I even meet him?”
“I’m sorry Meilin—but the Elders have put him under
house arrest. Even Ielan can’t see him freely. It’s
best to obey the Elders for now. After all, at least he’s been accepted back
after his blatant display of disobedience. We can only wait and see to see if
he will be forgiven.”
“Syaoran did not do anything wrong,” Meilin
murmured, fingering her stinging cheek. “No, there is no reason why the Clan
must punish him.”
“Syaoran has already disappointed the Clan once,
when he did not bring back the Clow Cards. He did not have room to make anymore
mistakes,” Meilin’s mother, who had the same bright amber eyes as Meilin,
responded.
“So, you’re saying this was his last strike,
mother?” Meilin questioned. Her mother only shook her head and let Meilin go to
bed even though it was broad daylight by now. After all, it was the beginning
of spring break.
******
Back
in Japan…
“Okaa-san, I’m sorry—I
guess the cherry blossoms are blooming late this year,” Miho said to her mother
as she pushed her mother down the path near by the Clow Reed residence. Even
though her mother could not see it, she would be able to feel the petals
floating in the breeze.
“It’s all right. Breathing in fresh air is good
enough,” Miara replied to her daughter. “You know,
you should tell Eriol-kun that it is not a good idea to always stay indoors. I
remember he used to be such an awful pasty white, worse than me, and I’ve been
hospitalized for six years. Thank goodness I don’t have to see that pallor
anymore.”
Miho giggled—her mother was so frank sometimes. Eriol
had grown to be quite intimidated by Miara lately and
had withdrawn to his study quite frequently. Unfortunately, Miara
enjoyed being around books so joined him in the study where there was an
extensive collection of books on the shelves and coerced Suppi-chan to read
aloud to her.
When the mother and daughter pair returned to the
mansion, Nakuru exclaimed, “You have a package, Miho-chan!”
“Really? From who?” Miho asked, eying two
huge parcels wrapped in brown paper by the doorway.
“I don’t know. It didn’t say,” Nakuru replied.
“Is it safe to open it?” Miho asked Eriol, who
tiptoed down the stairwell to avoid Miara’s
attention.
”I presume so.” Eriol yawned—he was utterly bored because his favorite playthings,
Sakura and Syaoran, were currently absent from the country. Along
with his third and fourth favorite playthings.
“So, Eriol-kun, exactly how old are
you again?” Miara asked.
“Okaa-san… This is…” Miho
said in a hushed voice as she opened the first parcel. They saw the glint of
gold. Soon, Nakuru and Eriol helped her peel off the packaging to find the
Mirror of Truth sitting in the middle of the house. “It’s finally been returned
to us.”
Miara
reached out and touched the gold-wrought fame of the family heirloom. What had
started it all. If she could see through the glass,
what would she see now? Her eyes were misty. The mirror that
had cost her Mikai.
“Who do you think sent it?” Nakuru asked.
Miho replied with a lump in her throat, “A thief and
liar.”
“Well, what’s in the second parcel?” Eriol pointed
to the second brown package, almost as large as the first.
“Won’t beat the Mirror of Truth,” Suppi-chan
remarked.
“We’ll see,” Eriol replied grimly. Maybe spring
break wouldn’t be quite so boring.
******
The next day in Hong Kong…
“This is such a bad idea,” declared Kai as he and
the two girls circled nearer to the Main House, which would have been
impossible to find since it was so deep into the winding hillside. “There is no
way you’re going to get in, and in broad daylight too.”
“That’s the Main House, right?” Sakura asked,
blatantly ignoring Kai’s grumbling.
“A part of it—it’s a huge estate. This entire hill
can be sort of seen as the Li Clan’s mini fiefdom. A town of
Li’s, basically. But the Main House is the Headquarters for the Inner
Council and also the Council of the Elders.”
“What is this Inner
Council and the Council of Elders?” Tomoyo questioned. She couldn’t help
admiring her handwork on all their outfits—they were all fitted in black,
granted that was the norm for Kai. Sakura looked delectable in her
tight-fitting long-sleeved qipao of
fine black silk, which cut off into a miniskirt and was juxtaposed by long
black boots which reached to her thighs. Her hair was rolled into buns on each
side of her hair in a style similar to Meilin’s. Even Kero-chan wore a black
cape for the occasion, just to please Tomoyo, who had been sulky that her
outfits were going to waste lately. Tomoyo herself wore a deep violet qipao with black embroidery.
“Well, the Li Clan is a large family and also a
very hierarchical one. But the Inner Council is basically the decision making
board, and the Council of the Elders runs the Inner Council. The Head of the Li
Clan is Li Wutai, Syaoran’s uncle. He resides in the Main House and also runs
Clan affairs ever since the Great Elder has fallen ill,” Kai explained as he
peered out from behind a wall to scout if the coast was clear.
“You know an awful lot about the Li Clan,”
Kero-chan commented.
“As a thief, I always to thorough background
research before I make a move,” replied Kai smugly.
“So, this is where Syaoran is now,” Sakura said,
gazing at the massive stone walls surrounding what she presumed to be the Main
Estate—this was even larger than Syaoran’s house, which was probably the
largest residence she had ever seen, even larger than Tomoyo’s mansion. “I
wonder why he’s here and not at his house.”
Kai did not have the heart to tell Sakura that it
was likely that Syaoran was awaiting the judgment of the Inner Council.
Instead, he remarked, “Well, what do you want to do? We can sneak in, or—“
“Can’t we knock and ask for Syaoran?” Sakura asked.
Rolling his eyes, Kai said, “You can’t get in
without a proper appointment. This is the Li Headquarters—people don’t just
show up and enter as they please.”
“It’s rather an intimidating place,” Tomoyo
remarked—and she wasn’t easily impressed. Yet, the place breathed old money and
name. And even from here, she could see the guards stationed by the front
gates—she knew there would be many more by the other entrances and inside the
house. Unlike her own bodyguards, who were mostly for appearance, though they
were quite qualified to protect her, she had a feeling the Li’s guards were
seasoned martial artists who were trained to the extreme.
“So, how are we going to get in, and if we do, how
will we ever even locate the Brat in this massive estate. For all we know, he
might not even be in right now,” Kero-chan declared.
“Hush—there’s someone coming out,” Kai said,
ducking behind the wall, dragging Sakura back with him. “Well, this is our
chance. The gates are open. I’m going to create a distraction and you girls
sneak in and do what you can.”
“Wait!” Kero-chan exclaimed. “We can’t just break into
the Li’s Main House!”
Kai leaped up onto the top of the iron-cast gate.
The guards pointed to him and the alarms started ringing.
A guard demanded “Who’s there? I command you come
down and show your face!”
Black cloak fanning out behind him magnificently,
Kai declared, “Catch the Kaitou Magician if you can!” He waved his arms in the
air and a whirlpool or roses blasted out at the guards. There were shouts and
loud explosions of tear gas everywhere.
Sakura sweat-dropped—leave it to Kai to create such
a fancy diversion.
“Now!”
Tomoyo whispered to Sakura, grabbing her friend by the hand. They ran through
the front entrance while the guards began chasing after Kai into the northern
gardens. Once they found themselves within the walls, they realized that there
were so many people within the estate, they would not be noticed at least until
someone spoke to them and realized they were Japanese.
It took a good ten minutes for them to reach the
Main House, which almost resembled the structure of an ancient Chinese feudal
castle. They circled around the house until they reached a side door, where a
line of maids trailed in through the terrace with baskets of tangerines,
supposedly gathered from the Li Clan’s orchards, a part of the extensive
estate. They each picked up a basket of tangerine and carried it in, blending
right in with their dark qipao.
Once they found themselves in the long corridors of
the Main House, Sakura and Tomoyo stared at each other in disbelief.
“We made it,” panted Sakura.
“How are we going to find Syaoran-kun?” Tomoyo
asked, peeling a tangerine and offering it to Sakura. Kero-chan gobbled it up
inside. They had been walking down the corridor for a while now, without any
sign of reaching the end. Slowly, it dawned upon them that the house was even
larger than it looked from the outside.
“I hope Kai-kun’s all right,” Sakura murmured as
she looked up and down the hallway at the rows and rows or rooms.
“I think we should be more worried about
ourselves,” Kero-chan stated wryly as guards patrolled the hallway. They ducked
into a doorway, which lead towards a high, intricately tiled archway at the end
of which was a grand, red and gold indoor pavilion.
“What is this place?” Sakura said, looking around
in awe—she felt as if she had entered some ancient Chinese palace.
“I believe this is the hallway that leads to the
Grand Council chambers,” Kero-chan remarked, fluttering about here and there,
soaking in the ancient energy infiltrating the building structure.
“You there!
What are you doing here?” a guard pointed at the two girls and shouted.
Kero-chan ducked behind Tomoyo’s hair.
“Run, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo hissed, stepping up.
“I’ll take care of him.”
“Hoe?”
Tomoyo had never looked fiercer before. “You go
find Syaoran-kun.”
“But—” The guard was closing up on them.
“Don’t worry, I’ll watch out for her,” Kero-chan
said from underneath Tomoyo’s long curls.
“T-thank you,” Sakura said, before dashing out of
the grand hallway, towards yet another long corridor. Even as she glanced back,
she could see Tomoyo smiling so sweetly up at the guard and playing the part of
a lost tourist—never mind how she wound up in there. The guard was blushing and
stammering, despite the language barrier.
Now, she found herself running up a side
stairwell—where was she heading? She shut her eyes. Just this
once… She couldn’t find Syaoran on her own. Desperately, she tried to
sense him in her mind—but why couldn’t she feel him? No, she couldn’t feel anything. Maybe it was because the
entire building was shrouded in such ancient runes and wards. Or maybe… had she
somehow forgotten how to use her powers? She shook her head. Was she being
punished for declaring that she no longer wanted to be Card Mistress, and had
her powers had abandoned her at this vital moment because she was using them
for a selfish cause?
Her legs were starting to ache now from all the
running—the house was a maze. She did not even know how to leave. Even Kai
would have difficult finding his way around a place like this. And it slowly
dawned upon her that this might only be one wing of the house—from outside, it
seemed as if there were at least four wings and a courtyard in the center,
along with numerous villas and cottages throughout the estate. Syaoran could be
any of those places.
“Ha, finally found you!” cried out the guard,
catching her off-guard and taking her by the wrist.
“Sakura-chan, I’m sorry!” Tomoyo cried out,
struggling against the two guards who held down each arm.
To Sakura’s relief, she found that at least
Kero-chan hadn’t been caught.
“So, what are we to do with these girls?” One guard
asked the other.
“Please let me go see Syaoran!” Sakura exclaimed.
The guard, in Cantonese, murmured to each other,
“Syaoran? Does she mean our Lord Xiao Lang?”
“Yes, Li Syaoran!” Sakura repeated, recognizing
Syaoran’s name.
“We better lock these girls up somewhere and ask
the Elders what to do with them,” the other guard advised. Tomoyo paled—she
spoke fluent Mandarin and understood most Cantonese. If they were locked up in
here, nobody would find them here. It would take her mother a week to realize
that they had gone missing.
The guards were interrupted in their process of
tying up the girls by heavy footsteps down the hallway.
“What is going on here?” boomed a low voice.
“Elder Wutai!”
The guards exclaimed, standing up straight and bowing down low. “There were
imposters in the Great Hall, and we thought that we should seek to confer with
you as to what to do with them.”
“Humph. And you seek me to deal with such trivial
affairs? I would have thought that they were imposters from the Tang Clan.
These are merely young girls, most likely tourists. Send them out immediately,”
Elder Wutai declared with a swish of his long, deep green robes.
“Our g-greatest apologies, Elder Wutai,” the guards
stammered, releasing Sakura and Tomoyo immediately.
But the third guard eyed the girls suspiciously.
“Wait, isn’t Elder Wutai supposed to be in the Council of Elders meeting in
that room right there?”
“That’s right—no one was supposed to interrupt
them,” the guard who had been holding on to Sakura stated.
“Wait, then who’s—” The third guard pointed at
Elder Wutai.
“Ohshit…” muttered Elder Wutai under his breath. A yellow stuffed doll face popped its head out of
his billowing sleeves, making faces at the two girls.
Sakura and Tomoyo instantly glanced at each other
as they recognized ‘Elder Wutai’. Kai snatched off his long robe and
gray-streaked black beard and wig and threw it behind an alabaster sculpture.
“Run for it!” he shouted.
“Catch them!” cried out the guards as Sakura,
Tomoyo and Kai ran towards the far end doorway.
“What is this commotion!” called out in an
authoritative voice as the center doors swung open with a creak. Out walked a
tall, bearded man in a long emerald robe, followed by a line of seven old men
in embellished robes, all bearded and some with swords strapped to their waist,
others with staffs.
“Oh exalted Elders!” The guards immediately dropped
down to their knees, one arm on their chest.
“Will someone explain to me why we were interrupted
in the middle of an important meeting with the urgent news that an outsider has
infiltrated the house?” the man with the jet black beard streaked with gray
demanded.
“Elder Wutai—these imposters have set havoc in the
house this morning,” the guard said pointing at the three youths.
Li Wutai, Head of the Clan, gazed at Sakura, Tomoyo
and Kai with slanted black eyes. “Are you trying to tell me that we’ve been
interrupted from an important meeting because of these children? The way the messenger reported the situation, I thought
we were being attacked by assassins from the Tang Clan.”
Tomoyo couldn’t help squeaking out a tiny
giggle—leave it to Kai to do a perfect imitation of the Elder.
“Forgive us for our incompetence,” said the first
guard, his head still bowed down.
“What is the Clan coming to, if the guards cannot
even administer to the simplest task of keeping out pesky intruders.”
Wutai swerved around in disgust.
“Wait!” Sakura cried out. The guards stared at her
horrified. “Umm… honorable Elder… I’m looking for Li Syaoran.”
Wutai turned around and walked up to Sakura slowly,
like a cat ready to pounce on a mouse. He said in accented Japanese, “And who
may you be, little girl?”
“M-my name is Kinomoto Sakura, and I would like to
request to see Li Syaoran,” Sakura repeated, her voice growing stronger. So this
was Li Wutai, Syaoran’s Eldest Uncle, and his least favorite relative.
“Humph. Take her away, guards,” Wutai replied,
sniffing as if he smelled rotten eggs.
“Please!” Sakura bowed down on her knees. “I know
he’s here. Please let me speak to him—no just let me see his face and see he’s
all right.”
Wutai stamped his black staff onto the ground.
“Enough. Guards, what are you waiting for? Jinyu—oversee to this matter. I
cannot have any more of my time wasted on these bleating,
useless scum” He turned around briskly, his robe fanning out around him.
The seven Elders followed his steps, out of the hallway.
“Then can you at least pass on a letter to him?”
Sakura cried out. But Wutai slammed the door behind him. For the first time,
Sakura noticed that there had been another person standing by the Elders all
this time. It was a man in robe similar to Syaoran’s except it was all in
black, with a red dragon embroidery up the front. He
had been so silent as he stood by the shadows of the
doorway that nobody had noticed him. This young man, from a distance, reminded
her of Syaoran—not so much his face, but just his ambiance. At
least, the Syaoran she first knew, the one who had challenged her to collect
the Clow Cards. The guards bowed down low to him when they realized he
had been there also, and the young man spoke a few words to them lowly in
Cantonese.
“Who is that?” Sakura whispered to Kai.
“Is he Syaoran’s relative?” Tomoyo questioned.
“Who cares—he’s Li
Jinyu,” Kai said with a slight reverence in his voice, looking over the
bridge of his shades.
“Are we supposed to know him?” Kero-chan demanded.
“Yes, everyone knows him,” Kai said impatiently.
“That’s Li Jinyu, the Black Dragon, head of the Hong Kong mafia.” He turned to
look at Sakura, Tomoyo and Kero-chan stare at him with round eyes. “I guess I
mean everyone on my side of the law
knows him—he’s famous for gaining recognition from all the Hong Kong triads at
such a young age; he had a one-on-one duel with the former Boss of the Underworld
in order to get his current title as King. That was about a year ago—now he’s
the most feared Dragon King in generations.”
“That makes sense,” Kero-chan remarked. “It would
be a smart move for the Clan to have an insider controlling the Hong Kong
outlaws. After all, the Li’s always had affiliation with the mafia.”
“Hoe.”
Sakura stared hard at the man with the jet black hair and frightening aura.
“And Syaoran’s supposed to be related to this person?”
For a brief second, the man called Li Jinyu glanced
at Sakura, and she could see that his eyes were a similar shape to Meilin’s,
but his expression was as stoic as Elder Wutai’s. He
nodded to the guards, who bowed down low to him again, and left the hallway.
Sakura could see from the back that his black hair tapered down to two thin
braids, and that he wore two swords strapped crossing each other on his back.
But even as she watched him walk away, each guard took them by the arm and
dragged them towards the gates.
“Do you know where Syaoran is?” she desperately
asked the guard in the little Chinese she retained from when Syaoran had
spelled her with the language ward.
“Little girl, no one knows where Lord Syaoran is,”
the guard replied, rather kindly because he had seen her begging on her knees,
near tears.
“But he’s here?”
“So I’ve heard,” the guard replied.
“No one knows for sure, except the higher-ups,” the
guard who was holding on to Kai said. They were near the gates now. “Now, you
young’uns take off from here—be thankful that Lord
Jinyu was so merciful—he usually is not so lenient. As long as you don’t come
back here, you kids won’t be in any trouble. Now, don’t try your luck twice, or
you will get a taste of what ‘Li punishment’ truly means.”
So Sakura, Tomoyo and Kai found themselves back where
they started, with a couple extra bruises and sore feet from all the running.
And they were no closer to finding where Syaoran was than before. But why all the secrecy? It made no sense that no on in the
Clan seemed to know where Syaoran was, even though he was definitely in Hong
Kong and in the Li Main House.
“I’m sorry, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said, rubbing
Sakura’s shoulders.
“No, I’m glad I came,” Sakura said, taking one last
glance at the immense estate behind the grand stone walls surrounding the Li
Headquarters. “Thank you, you two for coming with me. You
too, Kero-chan.”
Kero-chan flew out of Tomoyo’s hair and patted his
mistress’ head with his paw. “Sakura-chan you tried your hardest.” He
shuddered. “And Li Wutai is just as much of a fiend as we all imagined.”
The three nodded in concordance for once.
That night Sakura went to bed early, exhausted both
physically and mentally from a long day. Kero-chan and Tomoyo watched the
sleeping Sakura gravely, wondering what they had left to do. They had gone the
Syaoran’s house and he was not there. They had even infiltrated the Main House,
and he was not to be found. It was as if he had just disappeared off the face
of the earth. But that couldn’t be. What was Syaoran doing now? Tomoyo was fond
of Syaoran not only because he was such an important person to Sakura, but
because she truly liked him and respected him for who
he was. Back when they were children, he had confided in her all his
insecurities regarding his feelings for Sakura. But now that he was older, she
found that he had suddenly matured into a person that she, herself, found
listening to for advise and words of wisdom. Tomoyo
knew she could trust Sakura with Syaoran. Yet, why this
sudden blow? Why did he have to leave during Sakura’s hardest times,
when she needed his support the most? Tomoyo had a nagging hunch that it had to
do with the fact that Syaoran, after giving up his powers, did not feel he
could protect Sakura anymore the way he was. Then…
“She’s suffering. She’s smiling at us, but she’s
suffering nonetheless,” Kero-chan murmured as he gazed upon Sakura thrashing in
her bed, hugging close to her a black teddy bear that she still had with her.
“She even stood up to one of the most formidable
men in all of Hong Kong, Elder Li Wutai,” Tomoyo said. “Kero-chan, what can we
do for her now?”
“Sakura-chan’s a strong person. We’ll just have to
wait and see what she decides, then support her choice,” Kero-chan replied.
“I guess that’s all we can do now,” Tomoyo said.
She frowned, leaning over to the wastebasket which was empty except for a
slightly crumpled pale blue envelope. She picked it up and turned it around to
see Sakura’s distinct handwriting printed on the back. To: Li Syaoran… From: Kinomoto Sakura… Ah, so this had been the
letter Sakura was writing the other day, when she had taken off for the night
markets, and Sakura decided to take a walk by the harbor. But why was it in the
wastebasket? Carefully, Tomoyo smoothed out the creases. That’s why… Sakura had
no means of getting it to Syaoran.
******
Meilin woke up, startled to find Kai sitting on top
of her desk, flipping through her photo albums.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed, drawing her
sheets closer to her. She yawned, glancing at the clock. It was already late
afternoon! She had slept through the entire day.
“You were a cute kid. But you didn’t have any
friends, did you?” Kai remarked fingering the old photos.
“Shut up,” she mumbled grouchily. “And get out
before my mom finds you here.”
“If I refuse?”
“What did you do today?” Meilin asked. “Did Sakura
end up going to the Main House?”
“Curious?” Kai stuck out his tongue. “I would tell
you if you come play with me.”
Sighing, Meilin relented because she was too
curious about what had happened with Sakura. “Fine, I’ll meet you by the harbor
in thirty minutes. Good enough?”
“One more request.”
“What?”
Kai grinned. He held up an ugly photo of her when
she was five, making a hideous face as she was crying.
“Why do you want that? Oh fine, just take it,”
Meilin said, as she heard footsteps in the hallway.
The photo disappeared inside Kai’s pocket, and he
gracefully leapt out of the window, unnoticed by the neighbors.
It didn’t take Meilin long to wash up and get
dressed. She flung on a scarlet waist-length jacket and ran down the harbor
side, looking for the guy in black. Where was Kai? Cold hands covered her eyes.
“Looking for me?” asked a low voice.
“Kai, where were you?” Meilin
demanding, peeling off his hands and spinning around to face him.
Immediately, Kai’s fingers brushed against her
cheek, where he spotted a small, reddish bruise. “What happened?”
“Mother was mad—she caught me sneaking into my room
in the morning,” Meilin replied.
“And she hit you?”
“I did wrong. It doesn’t hurt, anyway. Not
anymore,” Meilin replied.
“If she wasn’t your mother, I would beat her up,”
Kai said through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry; it’s because of me.”
“No, it’s not. It’s because she loves me and
worries for me,” stated Meilin.
“How can anyone dare hurt my pretty Meilin’s face?”
Kai whispered stroking her cheek.
“I’m all right,” Meilin said, trying to push his
hand away, flinching when he pressed gently on the bruise.
“See, it does hurt.”
“Only when you press it like that,” snapped Meilin.
“I wish I can make it go away, just like this,” he
said, pressing his lips gently on her cheek.
“Stop it,” Meilin said, jerking away from the
gentle touch of his lips.
“What?”
Meilin planted a firm hand on his chest. “Stop being so friendly with
me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Tugging at the end of Meilin’s pigtail, Kai
questioned in feigned naiveté, “Why?”
“What do you mean why? I feel like you’re just
playing with me—like I’m sort of mouse in a mousetrap when I’m with you,”
Meilin burst out. She was irritated to see that Kai seemed merely bemused by
her frankness.
“Does my presence make you feel that
uncomfortable?” Kai blinked slowly.
“No, it’s not that. I like spending time with you.”
Meilin turned pink.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Well, I need to know. What am I to you?” Meilin
demanded. “Don’t laugh—just answer me seriously this once.”
Kai turned somber again, his eyes flickering away
as it always did when he was about to conjure up another clever lie. He opened
his mouth and shut it again. For once, he was tongue-tied—he had nothing to
say.
Meilin’s shoulders slumped—just as she had
suspected, Kai did not have an answer. When she had fallen in love with Syaoran,
she had loved him with a childlike innocence that was lost to her forever. She
had loved him because he was so steady and trustworthy, so reliable. Kai was
the opposite of that—you never knew what he would do next, where he would show
up next, when he would leave you.
As if in penitence for not having a ready answer,
not even a suave transition as usual, Kai took her by the hand and hopped onto
the ledge facing the harbor. He tugged her arm and she climbed on as well. Side
by side, they sat down on the cement wall, staring at the gray-green ocean
spotted with boats of all sizes.
When Kai spoke again, he spoke in his low, regular
voice, not the honeyed tone he used when charming people. “It’s too bad that
Syaoran has returned to the Clan. I admired him for a while when he decided to
find a backbone and stick up to the Elders.” Meilin gazed at Kai’s side profile
as he looked out at the ocean. Did he know that she had been thinking about
Syaoran? Kai continued, still looking on ahead, “In the end, I guess you can’t
run away from your destiny. But I can’t help wondering, there must be a reason
why Syaoran and Sakura met. There must be a reason why those two were born to
the bloodlines of the Great Ones. Likely, there must be a place for you and me
in this bigger picture.”
It was unlike Kai to meander about his views on
destiny and Meilin shuffled on the cold cement ledge, wishing he would stop
diverging from the subject at hand.
Kai continued, “You know, with some people you just
know their souls are meant for each other. When I see Sakura and Syaoran,
despite all the hardships thrown in their faces, I can’t help feeling they are
just natural for each other, that they complete each other. You can’t help just
rooting for
them, and I like to believe it is because they belong together.”
“I know what you mean.” Yes, Meilin knew. She knew
how it felt to realize that she had no place between those two, something she
realized at the tender age of ten. Maybe it was better for her to have faced it
earlier. Back then, she wondered if it was possible to find someone who was for
her and only her.
“But I’ve always known that’s not for me, that
destined sort of love. Maybe I’ve never had room in my life for that. Maybe
I’ve never had much time to think of that sort of thing. Maybe I’ve never been
much of a romantic, or maybe I’ve been too jaded during the time I’ve spent on
the streets.” Kai paused, looking straight towards the horizon. When was the
last time he had a chance to just sit and stare at the ocean? Had the ever
shifting, ever turbulent ocean always been so fierce yet beautiful? Even though
the sky was overcast and the sea was gray, it held a majestic grandeur, for the
waves rolled as constantly as the moon rose and the ripples changed color all
on its own.
“Perro! Perro!” Kai’s parrot suddenly flew out and landed on
Meilin’s head.
“Perro-chan!
You’re in Hong Kong too?” Meilin plucked the bird from her hair and smoothed
the bird’s feathers. Today, the parrot was a pure white.
Kai smiled and said, “Meilin, you like birds a lot,
don’t you?”
“Yes—They always seem so
free, able to fly the sky as they please.” Meilin reached out her fingers and
Perro-chan flew off—the bird would return to Kai later, when it was tired of
flying about.
“That’s why I like birds too.”
“Kai reminds me of a bird,” Meilin remarked. “Especially when you leap through the night sky in your black
cloak. Like a black crow.”
“But I’m more like a bird with wings clipped.” Kai
felt the chill breeze run through his soft auburn hair.
“Is that why you can’t form any sort of
relationship with other people?” asked Meilin wryly. When she saw Kai’s mouth
open to protest, she interrupted. “It’s true, isn’t it? That’s why you can’t
return to Miho-chan and your mother. That’s why you can’t love. That’s why you
always run away from people who truly care for you. What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” replied Kai
automatically. And he was not lying—he knew not what it was to be afraid.
Somewhere along the way, maybe in the process of losing everything, all his
loved ones, his home, his family, having to relearn everything, having to give
up his very own identity, he had grown brazen and bold. He was not afraid of
death, he was not afraid of another human being, not even the dark ones. His
heart no longer felt joy or sorrow, fear or anticipation. But when he was with
Meilin, he often forgot that he had been living like a carcass. He became like
a regular seventeen year old boy dating for the first time. First, he had been
drawn towards Meilin because he had been fascinated by her. Never had he seen
someone who had so much unconditional, unrequited love for somebody. What
perplexed him more was her tenacity, her ability to rebound, her almost
childlike straightforwardness. All his life, he had dealt with crooks and
cheats, manipulators and bigots. Meilin, who was loud and
annoying, whining and nagging, was such a pure, untainted creature. She
was so simple and pure, that he thought it would be interesting to taint her,
to bring her down with him. Because there would be no good
for her coming from associating with him.
“Look at me Kai, when you say that,” Meilin said
softly, realizing that Kai was staring off into the distance again. She had to
lean her head back to see Kai’s handsome side profile, his eyes the color of
the gray sea, hair whipping around in the sea breeze like golden-red silk.
Slowly, his eyes flickered back to her. Her voice grew stronger. “Kai, you may
be unafraid, but I’m always scared for you. I’m scared that you might get
caught by the police. I’m scared that the bullet in your chest if going to
consume you if you don’t get a surgery. I’m scared that you might leave me
because I failed you in some way. I’m scared for the days that are to come, the
dark days ahead of us as we fight against the Dark Ones. I’m scared that the
future is so uncertain. But because I’m scared, I’m human.”
“Are you really scared that I might die?” Kai
whispered, lifting up Meilin’s chin to look into her amber eyes. This time, she
was staring straight into his eyes; she was not thinking of Syaoran. She was
thinking of him. She was truly worried for him. And she did not pull away when
he bent lower to kiss her as the crimson sun set into the misty sea, speckling
the ocean with sprays of silver and gold.
It seemed like hours later, but probably was only
minutes that they had been sitting on the ledge, watching the sunset. Meilin
decided it was no use to fight against Kai and had no choice but to accept him
as he was. She saw the last glimmer of the sun peaking above the distant waters, her head leaned against Kai’s shoulder. His leather
jacket covered both their shoulders from the cooler night air. She broke the
moment’s silence by asking, “So, I guess you’re returning to Japan with
Sakura-chan and Tomoyo-chan tomorrow evening.”
“Oh, did I not tell you?”
“What?”
“That I’ll be staying in Hong Kong for a while.”
“In Hong Kong—why?” Meilin could not tell if he was jesting.
“I’m getting a surgery to remove the bullet from my
chest. The recovery process will take about half a year. So, I’m counting on
you to nurse me back to health,” Kai stated.
“I thought that you can’t go to any hospital
because of your blood sample,” Meilin stammered.
“I’m going to the Li Hospital.”
“How—“
“They were ready to accept me and treat me granted
that I returned the Five Force Sword—we have a fair bargain going,” replied
Kai, matter of fact.
Then it dawned upon Meilin and she stood up on the
ledge abruptly, the leather jacket falling from her shoulders. She wobbled
dangerously for a second, before she demanded, “So you knew before you even
left Japan that you were going to get treated? Is that why you really came to
Hong Kong?”
“Is that bad?” He blinked prettily.
“You mean, you just used my emotions to get sympathy all
this time?” Meilin’s voice was rising higher and higher.
“Mei-chan, you almost seem like you don’t want me to get better,” lamented
Kai.
“No, but couldn’t you have told me this when you
first saw me—I spent all this time worrying for no reason!”
“It’s a dangerous surgery. I might die if I lose
too much blood,” Kai said with a straight face.
“Oh just go ahead and die already. I’m sick of
playing your games,” returned Meilin, jumping of the ledge, back onto the
cement road.
“Don’t cry if I really do,” returned Kai with a
lazy grin.
******
The next morning, Sakura awoke with a more
optimistic feeling than she had felt the entire trip. She felt so lightheaded
that she did not feel like eating anything, and her hands were trembling so
much that she could only manage to tie her hair into a loose bun with a pale
pink tie. Her entire body was tingling with a hunch that something good was
going to happen.
“Today’s our last day in Hong Kong,” Tomoyo said,
surprised to see her friend already up and dressed. “What are you going to do?”
“I can’t just sit around doing nothing,” Sakura
stated, pacing around the hotel room. “I’ve got to meet him, just see his face
once. I can’t just give up like this, after all.”
“But where will you find him?” Tomoyo asked.
Sakura sighed… It would be impossible to find
Syaoran without relying on her powers—no she couldn’t rely on them. She would
find him. She would look for him all day in order to see him. “I don’t know.
But I will see him. I have to see him. I can’t go back to Japan, just like
this.” She fumbled with the long black boots by the doorway and pulled them up
to her knees.
“Wait, Sakura—your coat! It’s still cold outside,”
Tomoyo exclaimed, handing Sakura the pale pink coat with white fur collar, as
she was about to run outside only with a loose white turtleneck over black
shorts. “There seems to be unbalance in the weather; it’s colder here than it’s
ever been during this time of the year, according to the weather forecast.”
“Thank you,” Sakura said, turning to her friend who
gazed at her with sincere violet eyes.
“Ganbare, Sakura-chan,”
Tomoyo said, smiling.
Outside, Sakura was glad to have the warmth of the
coat. Though it was early spring and the temperature in Hong Kong was usually
mild and humid, it was an unusually chill morning. This entire trip, she had
been so fixated on meeting with Syaoran, she had forgotten how beautiful the
city was, the majesty of the skyscrapers, the serenity of the seaside and the
fishing boats, the harmonious meld between Eastern and Western culture. The
last time she had come here, she had been so excited at her first opportunity
to fly on an airplane and giddy that Yukito-san would be able to join her on
the trip also. This time around, all she felt was a strange sense of
anticipation and dread. She didn’t think it would be easy to see him, but she
also hadn’t thought it would be this difficult to find him. It was as if he
were deliberately hiding from her. Slowly, she was starting to conceive that
while it was difficult enough for two people’s hearts to connect at the same
time, it was even harder for two people to meet, to be joined together at the
same place and moment.
With this sinking realization, she looked up,
straining her eyes to see across the street in the midst of the crowds of
people. Her feet took her across the hard cement pavement of the road by the
bustling harbor side. She could smell the unfamiliar tangy salty air. It was
early enough that the harbor was shrouded in a film of morning mist. She hugged
the coat closer to her body. In this crowded city, how was she to find him?
This was her last day in Hong Kong. This was it. Was this entire trip in vain?
And then she saw him. At first, he was just a
silhouette behind the veil of mist. There, outlined by the brilliance of the
harbor, stood a brown-haired young man in a navy blue trench coat worn over a
black turtleneck sweater and slacks. Even though his face was turned from her,
she knew it was him. It seemed so logical to find him standing right in front
of her in the midst of the Hong Kong streets after all the days of searching
for him, being turned away from his house and the Main House. But there was no
logical or reason—it was pure chance to find him here. She stepped forward with
shaky legs towards his direction, afraid that he might disappear, that he was
merely an apparition from her imagination conjured up because of her
overwhelming desire to see him. It was as if all else around her melted into
the mist, and only he, he shone through the ephemeral haze. Syaoran looked much
older within that month of absence. In this foreign city, she was seeing him
with new eyes, as those who did not know him saw him. He stood handsome and distant
with broad shoulders that carried well the long Burberry coat, the son of a
mighty lineage, the Li Clan, the place he truly belonged. Those walking in the
streets cleared their way for him. And he held his head up aloofly, heedless of
everything going around him. Who was this distant, somber young man surrounded
by four bodyguards, the boy once entitled the youngest Chosen One in the
history of the Li Clan? Seeing the Main House had been a reality check for her,
experiencing the environment he grew up in, the hierarchical structure he was
accustomed to, the reverence people felt regarding him. The Elders were just as
intimidating as she imagined them to be—and that was the company that Syaoran
had grown up with all his life. This was a Syaoran she did not recognize, a
side she had not yet seen in the six years she had known him. This was the
Syaoran she had always been afraid of facing one day. Her heart pounded fast,
for it seemed as if she was seeing a stranger. But she realized at this moment
that she had always been blinding herself with the image of the boy, the shy
but good-hearted boy that she had befriended six years ago. She had been
blocking out the image of the man, this serious and burdened man who might have
become the most important person in her life.
Her ankles trembled as she stepped nearer—she had
to cross the street. It was a red light. She had to cross before she lost sight
of him. Her lungs were screaming but her voice was clenched in her throat as
she drew in sharp breaths of frosty air.
“Syaoran!” she called out from across the street
over the honking of the cars. Did he hear her? She ran across the road,
avoiding the speeding cars—she paid no heed to them as brakes screeched and
drivers screamed out at her.
“SYAORAN!” Sakura cried out again as she stepped onto the
pavement, just several feet away from him. What were the odds in a city of
seven million that they could be standing here on the same road at the same
instant? There, the two stood parallel to each other against the brilliant Hong
Kong seascape as if space and dimension had temporarily been suspended for
them. “Syaoran, listen to me! I have to talk to you!”
This time he must have heard her, for he came to a
complete halt. Momentarily, his eyes, only his eyes flickered her way. She
shuddered—his amber eyes were so cold and remote, showing no sign of
recognition whatsoever. The only time she had seen his eyes like that was when
she first met him, the day he had declared himself her rival in capturing the
Clow Cards.
Her voice wavered. “Syaoran.
Please, say something. Anything.”
He turned his head again, his back to her so that
she could not see his expression. When he spoke, his voice was low and cold as
he said, “Go back. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Syao…ran?” A chill
washed down her spine—this was not the Syaoran she knew. He would not just send
her away like this, without any explanation No, this was Syaoran, the Syaoran he had been before she ever got to know
him. She opened her mouth but no voice came out—all the words she had to say to
him was swallowed down with the lump she felt forming in her throat. This scene that she had replayed over and over again in her mind.
But all the things she told herself she would say to him when she came to find
him all dissolved into silence. Only the gentle lull of the waves crashing upon
the harbor could be heard.
Without looking back, he continued walking ahead,
his heels echoing hollowly against the pavement.
No. He couldn’t just walk away. Her legs felt like
roots planted onto the cement ground. She had to chase after him. He wasn’t
going to leave just like this. Not after all the courage she had drawn up to
come to him. He was going to turn around and smile, and reassure her that all
this was just a joke. He would take her in his arms and tell her he wasn’t
going anywhere. That he would be the one who will always be by her side. Like he always had been.
But all she could see was the back of Syaoran’s
head, his chestnut locks swaying in the wind. Not once did he turn around to
look at her. His bodyguard ushered him towards a black car. She briefly
recognized the man that Kai had called “Li Jinyu,” as one of the bodyguards.
The chauffeur opened the door and Syaoran entered the car without glancing back
again. It was then that it sank into Sakura that Syaoran was really going to
leave her.
“No,” Sakura uttered out loud. “No, I have to tell
you—”
Without looking back from inside the car, he
nodded, and the car engine started and the gleaming black vehicle zoomed away.
Sakura starting chasing after the car—if she lost
him now, she did not know when she would get to see him again. Her legs pumped
forward, the sharp heels of her boots slamming into the cement as she ran
harder than she had ever run before. She ran so hard to reach him that her
lungs stung with each breath she took of the icy seaside air. She screamed, “LI
SYAORAN!”
With her last exertion, she cried out, throat sore,
“SYAORAN! Please stop!” She knew he could still hear her. He must be able to.
A crowd in the streets gathered, staring at her. But she ignored them. Just
another leap and she would be able to catch up to the car. Yet at that vital
moment when she was an arm’s length away, her ankle gave away, and she tripped.
She sank down on her knees in defeat. Her eyes blurred as the car drove away
and disappeared down the road.
Unbeknownst to her, hot tears that had been
brimming in her eyes finally spilled out and streamed down her face. “Syaoran…” she whispered at the empty
road alongside the brilliance of the Hong Kong harbor. Some people passing by
gazed at her pitifully—others hurried their way. Sakura was oblivious to it
all. She knew she was sitting on the street, obstructing the road. But her legs
were too weak to stand upon. And the tears did not stop flowing, as if her
insides were bleeding its ache through those tears, salty as the sea. The water
kept welling up in her eyes, as if she was crying for everything she had to cry
about for the past year and the years ahead. If she had not come, she would not
have been turned away like this. And then, she could have waited in Japan,
still hopeful. If she had not come, she did not have to see Li Syaoran as the
person who he was destined to become, the Chosen One of the Li Clan, someone
who was not at disposal to be with someone like her. If she had not come, she
would have been avoiding reality. Wetness dripped off her cheeks and onto the
fur trimming of her coat. Her hair had escaped from its bun as she ran after
the car and hung in loose strands down her back and over her face. This feeling
was nothing compared to when Yukito-san had turned her down. Yukito-san had
been gentle about it, but it had still hurt. But at that time, Syaoran had been
there. He had let her cry into his shoulders. He let her wipe her tears away
with his blue handkerchief which had smelled minty and clean, like him. And he
had told her that someday, someday she would definitely be able to find her
most important person.
No, she had already found him five years ago. He
had been standing there by her side all this time. There was no question, there
was no uncertainty. That knowledge was as clear as the break of dawn in her
mind when she set out to Hong Kong to see him. It was that reassuring feeling
that had made her bear through everything. She thought that if she fought
against the Dark Ones hard enough, if she did her best as Card Mistress,
someday, she could be with her most important person. And hopefully, he would
accept her as well.
But he was gone now. It was too late.
******
“Sakura-chan, is it okay, just leaving like this?”
Tomoyo asked hesitantly. Tomoyo did not ask Sakura what had happened that
morning. She did comment when Sakura came back to the hotel with bloodshot
eyes, with bruises and scrapes on her knees. But Tomoyo knew what ever had
happened between Sakura and Syaoran, what ever Syaoran might have said to
Sakura, there was no way she could let things end just like this for the two.
But what could she do? Some things were beyond her control.
Sakura did not look up as she shoved clothing back
into her suitcase. Her head was lowered so that her bangs covered her eyes. “I
came to Hong Kong to see Syaoran. And I did see him. So it’s fine.”
“But you came to talk to him—did you really get to
speak to him?” Tomoyo wanted to hug her friend, but somehow this Sakura was not
the Sakura who had come to Hong Kong, the girl who had finally come to terms
with her own feelings. This Sakura was another Sakura all together, the sparkle
gone from her eyes, replaced by a dull sense of defeat.
“I was worried about him because he suddenly
disappeared. I thought something happened to him,” Sakura said shortly. “But I
saw him, and he was fine—his arm seemed fine too. It seemed as if he was doing
well; it wasn’t as if he was being kept at the Main House against his will. So
I’m satisfied just knowing that.”
Tomoyo did not probe further because she could hear
the strain in Sakura’s usual lively voice. Between the two girls, there were no
secrets. But if Sakura was not ready to talk about it, she would let her be.
“Tomoyo-chan, I’m ready to go back to Japan,”
Sakura said forcefully.
So, Tomoyo reached out and held her friends
trembling hands in her own two hands. Maybe they both knew this would be the
result. Nonetheless, they made the long journey to Hong Kong in the hopes of
finding a different answer. Sakura’s deep green eyes were impossible to read.
But she was Sakura’s best friend and the only thing she could do was be by her
side and her support her through all hardships. “All right Sakura-chan. Let’s
go back.”
As Sakura left the room, she turned back one more
time to stare out at the surreal nightscape. Good-bye, city of Clow Reed. Good-bye, Syaoran.
*****************************************************************************************
The Third Arc Epilogue…
It was a mild winter
afternoon, five years ago, the day I saw the
glistening tears roll down your cheeks as we sat on those nostalgic swing-sets
in King Penguin Park. That was the day you told me you had been rejected by
Yukito-san. You told me that Yukito-san said that someday, you would find
someone who you truly like the best and that in return, that person would also
like you the best. That day, when you cried in my arms, I thought that I could
be that person for you. It was then I swore I would never make you cry like
that…
But it seems like I have broke
my own words. Today, I was the one who brought the tears to your eyes. Today, I
was the one who hurt you…
It had unsettled Syaoran more than anything else to
see Sakura there in the streets of Hong Kong, as if dream had blended with
reality. At first, he thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him—he
wouldn’t be surprised if they were. But there she stood in a soft pink coat
lined with white fur, her long brown hair pulled away from her face into a
loose bun, standing like a lost angel by the Hong Kong harbors. She no longer
had that deathly pallor in her face, though she seemed frailer and thinner than
he recalled her to be. But in that bleak, misty morning, it seemed as if her
brilliant emerald eyes were the brightest thing he had ever seen.
“Syaoran-sama.
Syaoran-sama.” It was Wei who had been knocking on the
bedroom door.
“What is it?” Syaoran said
coolly.
Wei sighed—his master
hadn’t forgiven him yet. It was understandable. Syaoran must feel betrayed,
being held captive by the one who had taken care of him from youth. But he
could not disobey the orders of the Elders. And Syaoran also understood that it
was preferable to have Wei be his guardian than some other lackey of the Clan.
Wei, to the greatest extent possible, gave Syaoran some breath of freedom in
the stifling confines of the Li Clan main estate.
Lowering his voice, Wei
glanced around before sliding something out of pocket. “It’s a letter to you.”
“From
who?”
Syaoran took the envelope, realizing that Wei was breaking the rules to do this
for him.
“Meilin-sama said it was
from someone called Mizuki Kai,” Wei said with a straight face.
Narrowing
his eyes to analyze Wei, the man who had been almost like a father for him all
these years. So Kai was in Hong Kong also—did that mean that the entire crew was
there? He inwardly groaned. Nonetheless, Syaoran couldn’t help feeling relieved
that Kai was with Sakura.
“How’s Meilin doing?”
Syaoran asked, taking the letter. He was forbidden to meet with anyone, by Clan
orders—he didn’t mind, because he did not particularly want to meet Meilin in
his current condition. The envelope seems awfully effeminate for Kai—why would
he write him a letter? When he turned the envelope over, he almost choked. It
was not from Kai. It was from Sakura. In her clear print, the envelope was
addressed: To: Li Syaoran, From: Kinomoto Sakura. Was this some prank from the
Clan? How…
“She’s doing well,” Wei
replied, but realized his master was not listening to him anymore. “Well, if
you want some privacy to read the letter, Syaoran-sama—“
After Wei left the grand
bedroom that basically served as a large prison cell, Syaoran sank down into a chair.
Sakura—she had seemed well. That was all that he could ask for. How could he
demand for anything else, in his current situation? He sighed. It had been over
a month since he was taken back to Hong Kong on the private Li jet. Since he
had been unconscious during the journey, he did not have the opportunity to ask
Leiyun any questions. When he awoke, he had already been locked in this room,
Leiyun already gone, with no one to offer him any explanations.
Once he was back in Hong
Kong, he had not been allowed to return home or speak with his mother or
sisters. Instead, he realized he had been taken straight to the Li
headquarters. And for the past month, he had been under strict house
arrest—that first week he was back, he was locked in his room without any
contact with anyone except the doctor who came to check his broken arm. That
week, he lay in bed without any motivation, any direction,
blankly staring at the ceiling like a listless lunatic. He was on the
borderline of insanity—when he was not in bed, he stormed around the room,
smashing the furniture, banging on the door, finding some means of escape.
Without his magic, it was futile, for even if it was physically possible to
break down the doors, the main estate was so heavily warded that even the likes
of Kaitou Magician would have a hard time infiltrating it. The following weeks,
he spent in agony as his arm began to heal with the help of the Clan healers—he
literally thought he would lose his mind if they kept him locked indoors any
longer. Not only was he utterly helpless, but he was at the mercy of the Clan,
since he knew not what they had in store for him. For all he knew, the
executioner’s blade suited well traitors of the Clan. He knew not how many days
passed by, what time of the day it was, since his shades were always drawn.
And even in the second
week, there was no sign of the Elders wanting to speak with him—Syaoran figured
it was a part of Uncle Wutai’s punishment. To keep him hanging, wondering what
sentence awaited him for his disregard of all the Li Clan’s codes of honor, for
neglecting his duty and casting of his title.
The third week, he was
allowed to meet with his mother, very briefly. The bodyguards were listening,
and she did not say much. She took one glance at her son, once the pride of the
Clan, as he sat sullenly on the bed with his arm in a sling, his eyes with a
pained, haunted look, utterly without powers and physically broken.
“Syaoran, my son, what has
become of you?” Ielan asked sorrowfully.
“I apologize, Mother, for
disgracing your name,” Syaoran said grimly. He realized he did not sound
particularly apologetic, however.
“Do you realize what you
have done, disobeying the Clan? You should have come home when I sent for
you—look how things turned out.”
“While I deeply regret the
inconvenience I have caused for the Clan, I have no regret for the choice I
took.” Syaoran stared at the brilliant tapestries on the wall of peonies and
butterflies—wasted on him as he had no appreciation of the fineries that he had
once been so accustomed to. He could not help recalling the wolf embroidery
Sakura had made him two Christmases ago—if he had known he was going to leave,
he would have brought it with him.
“You
impertinent boy. Even in the current state you are in, you still have to cheekiness to
say such things! You really should know better after how I raised you.” Ielan turned around.
“How is the Great Elder
doing?” Syaoran asked quietly.
“Poorly,” Ielan replied.
“Will I be allowed to see
him?”
“That depends on what Elder
Wutai decides,” Ielan said, turning around again to
gaze at this strange, somber young man sitting on the bed. He looked so much
like Ryuuren now that he had lost most of the boyish curves in his face. No
longer was he her precious little wolf but this rebellious, spontaneous young
man that did not heed anyone’s words anymore. When had he turned like this?”
“What does he want with
me?” Syaoran laughed shortly. “I’m useless to the Clan now. I’m powerless and
no longer the Chosen One. They disowned me. What more can they want from me
now? They have Leiyun. He can be the new Chosen One.” Judging by the cringe on
his mother’s face, Syaoran realized that Leiyun was yet an uncomfortable topic
for her. Not surprising, because they had all spent the last seven years
believing Li Leiyun had died on a top-secret Clan mission.
“You should thank your
cousin,” Ielan said slowly. “If it weren’t for him, I
wouldn’t be surprised if the Elders voted to do away with you. But Leiyun
insisted that they should give you another chance.”
“Ha. In
this current state? Mother, I’m nothing now,” Syaoran lashed out. “Nothing. I’m not like father—I won’t sell my soul to the
Clan.”
“Don’t speak of your father
like that. What do you know of him?” Ielan said
sharply.
“I mean no disrespect, but
what do you know of my father, Mother?” Syaoran stared directly at his
mother, all the knowledge, all the emotions, all the pain and all the
experiences he had gained in the past year and a half held within that one gaze
from his deep amber eyes.
Li Ielan
was taken back. Her son had never spoken back to her before. He had always been
so obedient and dutiful. “I don’t know when next I will be allowed to speak to
you again. But until then, stay well behaved—and don’t even think of trying to
run away. Who knows. The Elders might give you a
second chance, especially with Leiyun speaking on your behalf.”
Leiyun. In the past three weeks,
he had not once seen his cousin again, though he was aware that Leiyun must be
around in some other part of the house. “Mother… How…”
His mother, as if reading
the confusion her son’s eyes, shook her head. “No one really knows for sure
yet. Only the Inner Council has actually met him. That’s all I can tell you for
now. Be strong my boy, because these times of adversity is a true test of your
inner will.”
Syaoran stood and bowed to
his mother, who left gracefully. But her steps were heavy as she left the Main
House. Even as his mother, she had no say in what plans the Clan had made for
Syaoran.
He felt the pain in his
right arm more acutely in the nighttime, as he thrashed awake in the nighttime.
Injuries took longer to heal without his powers, and Jinyu had not been gentle
when he snapped Syaoran’s arm back to pin him to the ground before knocking him
out. Since Syaoran was in an enclosed room with windows sealed tight and shades
permanently pulled down, he had no sense of time passing by, and spent his days
in desperate delirium. Each day passing by meant another day away from
Sakura—what was she doing now? Did everyone graduate by now? When did they
realize he went missing? Was she worried for him? How long had he been locked
up in this room? It had almost been a month, hadn’t it? He glanced at his
leaf-shaped watch, which had been Sakura’s Christmas present to him. The
battery had died, probably back in Japan when Jinyu tried to restrain him.
Granted that the room was quite large, he was starting to feel claustrophobic
being enclosed in the same place, with nothing to do, no one to meet except when
Wei brought him his meals. And Wei was not permitted to speak of anything to
him. It was frustrating hearing no outside news, have no means of finding out
what was happening back in Japan. What had happened with the Dark Ones? Surely
Sakura could not be fighting any new Dark Forces—was she able to fight with the
power transfer? Could there possibly be any side effects?
For the first two weeks of
Syaoran, he had felt to numb to feel angry, but after those weeks of being
locked up, he realized that he was furious. Furious at the
Elders for kidnapping him Furious at Leiyun for showing up and then
disappearing. Furious at himself for being so
helpless. With his good hand, Syaoran took a chair and flung it at
window. The chair rebounded from the window and collapsed on the ground.
Obviously the window was protected by seals. He almost felt like laughing.
Didn’t the Elders now that he was powerless, anyway? He could not escape even
if he wanted to. It was aggravating. He could scream and holler all he wanted, and
no one would hear him; he did not even know which wing of the main estate he
was locked in since he could not look out the windows.
It was only a day after his
mother’s visit that Leiyun finally decided to show up again. His mother’s visit
had shaken him asunder, because he had been counting on Li Ielan
to get him out of there—but she had the look of resignation in her eyes, as if
she had accepted the fact that her son was no longer under her jurisdiction but
at disposal to the Council of Elder’s whim. Unable to shake off the maddening
feeling of suffocation, Syaoran had stumbled towards the bathroom which was
adjoined to the room and climbed into the shower, fully clothed. He turned on
the cold water, which streamed down onto him, soaking his hair and through his
clothes. Then, he realized the doctor had told him to keep the bandage on his
arm dry—not that it mattered anymore; he banged his head on the tile wall and
gazed at the sopping bandages shrouding his arm. Taking a loose end, he began
to unravel it, letting it trail down to his bare feet.
It was sopping wet,
collapsed on the bathroom floor, that Li Leiyun found Syaoran a little while
later.
“What a pathetic state
you’re in, Li Syaoran,” Leiyun remarked from the bathroom doorway.
Slowly, Syaoran looked up
to see his cousin, dressed completely in white to complement his silver hair.
“What do you want from me now?” Syaoran croaked—his voice was almost gone from
such long disuse.
“My
apologies for not being able to visit earlier. I got caught up in Clan
affairs.” Leiyun smiled, his sky blue eyes twinkling. “Now, we need to get that
arm rebandaged, don’t you think? A healer is here to
see to it.”
Syaoran changed into dry
clothes. His sleeves were rolled up as the healer pressed his arm muscles to
see his reaction, then carefully bandaged the arm from hand to elbow. “How is
my arm?” he ventured to ask.
“Well, it’s hard to tell at
this state,” the healer replied. “The bones have set perfectly fine. But
multiple injuries have put a shock on the muscles. I don’t know if it would
ever heal all the way—you’ll definitely have pain in this arm in the future.
But if you can just regain functional use…” But his tone was hesitant.
Syaoran grimaced—for a
swordsman, everything depended on the full use of his arm. But the new bandage
was lighter, and his arm felt better with the healer’s herbs.
When the healer left,
Syaoran gazed at Leiyun sullenly. “So, how long are you going to keep me locked
in here?”
“I’m sorry, Syaoran. Had it
been my choice, I wouldn’t keep you guarded and locked. But the Elders would
have had you thrown into the dungeon, and I thought this would be a more
pleasant alternative.”
Syaoran snorted. “I would
rather have the dungeons—at least that would brand me clearly as a traitor, and
I would gladly embrace my punishment. So, when will I have to face the
tribunal?”
“The Court of the Inner
Council has yet to decide on a trial date for you. After all, the Li Clan does
not take kindly to traitors—we all know that. And for you, because you were the
Chosen One, turning your back on the Clan could be considered the highest
degree of betrayal. They’ve got to be harsh on you to set an example for the
rest of the Can. But I am doing my best to appease the Elders and try to
convince them that your blatant display of disrespect is nothing more than a
pubescent boy’s temporary rebellion. Which is what it is.
You were much too young to carry on the responsibilities of the Chosen One. You
can’t be held accountable for your misjudgments and childish behavior. You
didn’t know what you were doing.”
“No, I knew perfectly well
what I was doing when I chose to stay in Japan and ignore the wishes of the
Elders. I made a conscience decision to abandon my title as Chosen One,”
replied Syaoran somberly.
Sighing, Leiyun stood up
from the chair. “Come, Syaoran. I think you need some outside air to cool your
head. It must have been difficult for you, being cooped up indoors for all
these weeks. It’s no wonder you’re blathering nonsense
and taking showers fully clothed.”
Without the will to argue
back, Syaoran followed Leiyun down the long corridor. He realized his room was
located in the rather abandoned third floor of the South Wing of the Main
House. They walked out to the backyard, where he saw a line of young men and
women in the courtyard, training in martial arts. It was still chilly outside,
considering how warm Hong Kong weather usually was. Though there were curious
glances in their direction from those people in the courtyard, Syaoran paid no
attention to them. After all, he had always grown up with the gaze of everyone
as the Chosen One candidate. Now, they were walking through the extensive
botanical gardens, where the fountain shaped like goldfish trickled water
merrily. Even further down the winding pathway, they came to a worn, secluded
courtyard, which granted them some privacy.
“So, Syaoran, do you care
to tell me how you came to lose all your powers?” Leiyun asked, turning to the
younger boy.”
Syaoran turned to face the
man standing before him. Finally, he could speak to him. All these years, all
those times he’d wondered what Leiyun would say, what he would advise. But this
was not how he wanted to me meet him. Not in this state. The man standing before
him had been his mentor, his friend, his brother and the person he had looked
up to. Unable to contain himself any longer, Syaoran
burst out, “They said you were dead. We all thought so, these past seven years.
If you were alive, all this time, why didn’t you let us know?”
Leiyun sighed. “That’s
another story to be told at another time. What you need to be concerned with is
how you can be pardoned by the Council.” They walked into the courtyard, at the
center of which there was a large slab of stone in the shape of a cross. “In
the olden days, traitors used to be chained to this stone, then beaten until
unconscious or bled to death. Thankfully, the Clan is a little more civilized
now.”
Hearing Leiyun’s cheerful
tone, Syaoran stared at the stained gray granite, as if he could hear the
centuries of cries from people who had been at the mercy of the Li Clan. “Do
you know what the Elders want to do with me?” Syaoran asked, placing a hand on
the weathered slab of stone. “You clearly know I don’t have any powers. I’m
useless now to the Clan. Why keep me here?”
“Because it’ll make you
miserable,” replied Leiyun darkly. “Syaoran, I don’t think you understand how
the Clan works. The Li Clan’s not about family honor and
dignity. It is about profit and reputation. You being willful and acting
on your own accord, when as the Chosen One you were the figurehead of the Clan,
has been putting muck on the Elder’s reputation and self-pride. That’s why you
must be punished. So that others can be taught not to disobey
the Clan.”
“What about you? You do as
you please.” Syaoran said.
Leiyun smiled demurely.
“They abandoned me and left me for dead. Don’t you think they owe me a little
favor?”
Syaoran shuddered. He did
not ask anymore.
“Well, Syaoran, I apologize
for you current situation, but I will make sure to see that you are allowed
some fresh air—of course with a guardian. But anything would be better than
night and day confinement, will it not?” Leiyun said pleasantly. He turned
around. “Jin. You can come out now.”
Li Jinyu came out of the
trees that had been hiding him. In full daylight, Syaoran realized that the
young man standing before him was not much older than himself. His long black
bangs covered most of his eyes, but Syaoran glimpsed that they were a brighter,
more ruby-amber than his own.
“Accompany Syaoran back to
his room,” Leiyun said.
Jinyu nodded, and Syaoran
reluctantly followed Jinyu back through the gardens. He desired to speak with
Leiyun longer. Meanwhile, his guardian spoke not a single word but silently lead him back to his room. Only from the back, Syaoran could
see that Jinyu had two long braids coming out from the nape of his neck, like
thin ribbons snaking down his back, over the red dragon embroidery on the back
of his black cheongsam. In the light, Syaoran finally recognized where he had
seen Jinyu before. Jinyu was the Li Clan Protector, appointed just a year go.
While the Chosen One was the figurehead of the Clan, the one who undertook
difficult missions and boasted the honor and splendor of the Clan, the
Protector took care of all the undercover tasks, the deeds that happened with
stealth and in the shadows, the ones that no one talked about. In Japanese
terms, the Chosen One would be like a samurai, and the Protector like a shinobi.
Only several days ago,
Syaoran had the cast taken off his arms—ever since then, he had returned to
rigorous martial arts training. He had nothing better to do, and he had to
rebuild the muscles in his right arm which had been mangled so badly. The
healers said they doubted it would ever be the same again, but he’d see.
Getting bitten by the Plague in his arm wasn’t the worst that had happened to
him as of late. The worst was breaking his promise to Sakura,
that he would always be by her side. But she was in safe hands. Now that
Eriol was there, he did not have to worry as much as he did when he left her
the first time. She had powerful friends, those who would protect her.
Leiyun kept his words, and
Syaoran was allowed to roam around the estate so long as he was escorted by a
bodyguard—they did not have to worry because after that first week, Syaoran
realized that he did not have anywhere to run to, that there was no point in
trying to escape the Clan. Because if they wanted you, they
would find you. Earlier that day, he had been allowed out of the gates
of the Main House estate for the first time. They had driven him to the Li
Hospital so that he could get his arm checked up and start proper rehab. After
the check-up, they even allowed him to get out of the car and take a walk
outside, almost unescorted. Leiyun had mentioned to Jinyu that it would be “all
right to let the boy take a stroll down the harbor for a change.” Why the
sudden generosity, Syaoran did not know, but he was glad to be able to see the
outside world for a change—living in the Main House was like living in a time
capsule from a century ago where traditions and aesthetics never evolved with
modern times.
It had been a brisk, chilly
day, weather that could rival Japan’s winter, an unusual occurrence in Hong
Kong. Yet, even the cold was welcome to Syaoran—any sensation except the blank
numbness he had felt as he was trapped indoors. Though the harbor had been
covered in fog, the outside world seemed so bright and surreal after a month
being cooped up in the Main House. It was as if he could breathe again, the
familiar salty air that distilled his mind and made him feel like he was still
alive.
And there, out of nowhere,
he heard her sterling clear voice call out his name. At first, he thought he
was mistaken in the midst of the honking cars and humming of voices. Then he
heard it again. He knew it was her for certain, even without turning around.
But he couldn’t resist. His feet were planted to the ground, unable to step forward,
unable to step back. And he had to glance behind, to make sure it was really
her. Sakura, in her soft pink coat, the white fur surrounding
her throat and sleeves. Sakura with her long golden-brown hair tied up,
with loose strands whipping around in the wind. Sakura with
her glistening sea-green eyes that gazed at him so imploringly. It took just that brief glance of her before he
entered the car to crumble all his resolve, to send the emotions he had
packaged within himself over the past month into a whirlpool again. When she
had called out his name in that urgent voice, it took all his restraint to just
look forward and continue walking. If she had called out one more time, he was
sure he would have knocked aside those bodyguards and ran back to her, taking
her in his arms, feeling her warmth to make sure she was real and not just his
imagination. Was she well? Was she angry at him for leaving? Was she fully
recovered yet? Was she here alone? He would be surprised that her brother let
her come to Hong Kong. What was she doing here? She couldn’t have come here
alone. But he had left her standing there; he had told her to leave. He was
relieved that he had not been facing her, because the expression she must have
been wearing on her face from hearing those words would have torn his heart
asunder.
With trembling hands,
Syaoran held the pale blue envelope in his hands, the letter from Sakura. He
grabbed his coat again and pulled it on, placing the letter in his coat pocket.
“Syaoran-sama, where are
you going?” Wei asked as Syaoran burst out from his bedroom, following after
him.
“To get some air,” Syaoran
replied, hurrying down the hallway. He knew Jinyu was tailing his steps as
usual, but he didn’t care. For some reason, Jinyu following him around didn’t bother
him as much as the other bodyguards. Maybe it was because Jinyu was good at
what he did—not being noticed. Or maybe it was because Jinyu didn’t
particularly seem to care what Syaoran did or seem to derive any pleasure from
reporting back to the Elders about Syaoran’s daily activities.
A strong gust from seaward
struck his face, whipping his hair back as he gazed out at the waves rolling
onto the shores, the anchored boats bobbing back and forth in the ocean. The
guards did not try to stop him when he ran out through the back gates of the
Main Estate. Because they knew that even if he left the Main House, there was
no way he could leave Hong Kong. He was trapped in this city. Breathing in the
familiar scent of the ocean, he realized that he was no longer angry. He was no
long suffocating. He felt surprisingly calm after the events of the day. He had
sent Sakura away. She had come all the way from Japan, but he could not give
her an answer. He could not even look her properly in the eye.
He leaned on the cracked
stone ledge overlooking the harbor. The letter. The
letter was still in his pocket. Slowly, he opened the crinkled envelope and
unfolded the sheets of paper within it. It was unmistakably Sakura’s curvy
handwriting written in dark blue ink.
Dear Syaoran,
If you are getting this letter, it is probably because I wasn’t able to
see you in Hong Kong. I am sitting by the harbor, near by your house, actually,
looking at the deep gray-green sea—I’ve never seen so much water everywhere
before. It makes my heart feel peaceful, after all that has happened, but a
little sad also. So this is the view you grew up with. Today, I visited your
house. You weren’t there, but I met your mother. She was as beautiful as
before, and I’m still a little intimidated by her. Now that I get around to
writing this, I don’t know what to say anymore. I had so many things to say to
you, so many things I wanted to tell you. Somehow, I guess I’ve been taking you
for granted. When I first learned that you left Japan, I admit was really
shocked. I wished you told me before—I won’t have minded, really, because I
always knew that you would one day have to return. With life, people come and
go. People enter into our lives and then leave. But, if paths cross more than
once, doesn’t that mean there is something more?
As I was sick, I spent a lot of time thinking in bed. There was not much
else to do. For a while, I reproached myself for losing Subaru. But I’ve come
to terms with it. Did you know he left me a letter? He was such a smart boy, for all that he was just seven. And it made me realize
that so many important things in life end as an idea flickering in the mind,
that life is too short to spend simply thinking and ruminating, that feelings
and thoughts have to be communicated. He may have passed on, but I’m here and
alive. I have so many things in life left ahead of me. I realized when you were
gone, that I was a little sad, a little angry that you left without a word. But
then, I also understand that you also must have your reasons. So, I don’t mind
waiting for you, waiting for the next time I could meet you so that I could say
everything I need to you to your face.
The sun is almost setting now, and I realized I haven’t said anything I
meant to write. That’s why my handwriting is getting messier—it’s getting dark
and I’m running out of paper, even when I haven’t said anything I wanted to
yet. Syaoran, you’ve always been there for me whether I was down and dejected,
scared and worried, happy and excited. You might laugh when I say this, but
when I was in that coma, I think I awakened because I heard your voice calling
me. It could have been a figment of my imagination, but then, I can’t help
asking myself, out of everybody, why is it your voice that I heard?
The past few months have been the most difficult times that I ever had
to endure. Yet, what kept me going through these trying times, in the past and
even now? I wish I can tell you to your face how grateful I am to you. All
those times of peril, all those times I was in despair, thankfully, you were
there. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have come this far. If it weren’t for
your harsh critique, I would never have been able to capture all the Clow
Cards. If it weren’t for your kind words after Yukito-san rejected me, my heart
would never have healed. If it weren’t for your support, I would not have been
able to defeat Eriol-kun. If you weren’t by my side against this battle against
the Dark Ones, I would long since have been crushed. I have a feeling I
wouldn’t even be alive after the Plague if you didn’t call out my name that
vital moment when I was sealing the Plague. Back then, I did see you. I’m sorry
I set up the barrier blocking everyone, but please don’t be angry at me for not
listening.
There are so many things left to tell you, but I’m out of lines.
Syaoran, I just want to tell you, thank you, thank you for always being there
for me. That’s why I won’t ask anything of you anymore. This time, I want to be
there for you if you need me. So, I’ll wait. That’s all I can do for now.
- Sakura
Syaoran sat on the ledge
overlooking the ocean, the very same ledge Sakura must have sat on when she had
left from his house. He held the letter with trembling hands. He did not want
to read it but he had read it. It was like Sakura to write such an
uninformative letter. She could have mentioned how her health was, if there was
any side effects from the power transfer—though she did not know about that, of
course. She could have truthfully let him know that she was angry that he had
left without a word, that she felt betrayed. She could have reproached him. But
why did she thank him? Why did she tell him that she would wait? What did she
feel now that he had sent her away like that, walked away from her without
turning back. He had hurt her beyond reparation. She
had every right to reproach him. Nothing written in his letter mattered
anymore. It was all from the past. She had written it from the past. Today was
another day. Tomorrow would be yet another day. And yesterday would be just
nostalgic dreams that would haunt his sleep once in a while. He let a strong
gust of wind carry away the sheets of pale blue stationary, watching the paper
fly away into the harbor.
Then, he recalled the
gentle plea in Sakura’s jade-green eyes as she called out his name. Why had she
come to Hong Kong? For him? No… Why would she come for
him when he had broken his promise to her? But he thought of her sitting on
this cold stone ledge, writing him those words. He could almost hear her
speaking them with her sweet, clear voice—she had a tendency to ramble on when
she was nervous. She had come for him, all the way from Japan. What did that
mean? What was the message written in between the lines? How did this letter
even reach him? Through her hands, Kai’s, Meilin’s, Wei—all those people who
wished them well. Jumping over the ledge, Syaoran made a wild dash towards the
sheets of letters flying away in the wind over the ocean. He did not even
realize he had jumped down into the sea and was waist-length in water before he
was able to grab one sheet of paper—the rest had already flown away. The local
fishermen stared at him as if he were insane. Maybe he was. But Syaoran
clutched the single sheet of paper in his hands. The ink was smudged with
sprays of wetness from sea water. He could still make out the words. Thank you… Thank you for always being there
for me… This time, I want to be there for you if you need me. So I’ll wait…
She must have left Hong
Kong by now. If he could have just turned around and run back
to her that morning. If he could have answered her
call. If he could have just explained to her...
The water lapped up his waist, icy cold as the sun sank lower into the horizon.
The voice that had been lost to him earlier had returned to him. “SAKURA!” He called out at the top of his lungs. “SAKURA!!! Do you hear me?” The only answer was the
echo of his voice over the roaring of the waves.
He could remember the pain
in her eyes as tears spilled down earlier that morning, when she had called out
after him. She had been running after him and fell down—but he did not stop the
car. He had left her there, on her knees in the middle of the road. He was such
a despicable person.
It occurred to him that his
limbs were turning numb from the cold, and he waded back out of the water and
staggered back onto the ledge. He stared out at the dark blue-green ocean,
waves tumultuous as were his insides. With trembling hands, he tucked the
crumpled letter into his breast pocket which was still dry. Somehow, life
without Sakura seemed bleak and dreary. But wasn’t that how things were before
he had met her? Ah, but now he knew what he had lost.
With life, people come and go. People enter into our lives and then
leave. But, if paths cross more than once, doesn’t that mean there is something
more?
Those lines had flung out at him like a desperate plea. Yes, there must be
something more. Otherwise, how could he continue on living and struggling? Was
there any meaning in fighting against the Elders? What was the use of
everything he’d worked towards until now? He was no longer the Chosen One; he
no longer had any special powers. He had lost Sakura and his family and friends
were alienated from him. He was alone, utterly alone. No! Our paths must cross again. This can’t be the end,
I simply can’t let it be. Or else, what is the meaning of my existence? Sakura,
without you, there is no longer Li Syaoran…
In the distant wind, he
though he heard her voice whisper in his ears, Sayonara, Syaoran.
******
The dimly lit underground
chamber, deep beneath the Li Headquarters, was the only place that Li Leiyun
could get away from the pesky Elders. He scowled as he tried to decipher the
faded foreign words in a fragile leather-bound book he was reading. Straining
his neck, he looked back to see what was blocking his source of light. Long
slender arms snaked around his neck.
“You
never told me that your cousin was such an amusing kid, Lei,” the young woman
with pale lavender eyes remarked.
“Kara,
you’re blocking the lantern,” Leiyun replied crossly.
Kara
slinked around his chair and leaned on the armrest, crossing her legs. Silver
cross earrings twinkled from her ears as she tucked her chin-length hair behind
her ears to bend over and read the scroll. Her hair was such a pale gold that
it glistened almost as silver as Leiyun’s in the candlelight on the table. “Pendant l'été, je suis resté au château de la Loire souvent,” she read out loud.
“You
never told me you read French,” remarked Leiyun, folding his arms.
“Natural talent.” Kara shrugged her
shoulders. “One of my distant ancestors was from France.”
“You
could have told me earlier.” Leiyun scowled as Kara flipped through the pages,
skimming the legible words.
When
she grew bored, she looked up towards the shadow, where a third person stood
leaning by the doorway. “So, I heard that Clow Reed’s successor made quite a
ruckus around here, the other day, Jin.”
Jinyu
glanced at Kara with narrowed amber eyes but did not reply.
“What
a silly bunch your cousin’s crowd is,” Kara remarked to Leiyun, hopping off the
armrest. “I’m surprised Clow’s reincarnation hangs out with the likes of them. Must be demeaning.”
“Hiiragizawa
Eriol? It will be interesting to meet him, for your sake, Kara dear,” Leiyun
replied with a yawn. “So, Jin, what has my cute cousin been up to lately? He
hasn’t drowned himself yet, has he?” He smiled innocuously. “Or is that being
too hopeful.”
******
Japan…
One glance at Sakura’s
tightly concealed expression kept Touya from asking anything further about his
sister’s trip to Hong Kong. If anything, his resentment for the Brat was
finally sealed, for Touya now realized that the Brat was truly out of his
sister’s life. Yet, why could he not rest at ease with this?
Outwardly, there was no
change with Sakura. She had received her new uniform for Seijou High and went
shopping with Tomoyo for school supplies. Also, Sakura never argued with him
anymore. She never talked back, never even got angry when he teased. She just
smiled and let him say anything he wanted. And because of that he no longer
teased her or called her kaijou. And she felt
different to Touya. Maybe it was because Syaoran’s power was mixed into her
blood now. Maybe it was because she’d grown up with the recent events. Once
residency at the hospital started for him, he knew he couldn’t spend much time
at all at home with his sister. But perhaps it was for the better. Every day,
at the back of his mind, he had a nagging feeling he should tell Sakura about
what Syaoran had done for her. That the boy had given up all his powers in
order to save her life. That Touya had felt the obligation to tell Syaoran, who
had give up everything to save her, to leave Hong Kong, to remind him that he
was of no use to Sakura without his powers. But what was the use now? He was
gone now.
On her sixteenth birthday,
a day after returning from Hong Kong, Sakura opened the yellowed letter
addressed to her by her mother. She was almost afraid to open
it because the paper seemed so frail, but she slowly eased the flap open and
breathed in a whiff of musty cherry blossom scent. Carefully, she opened the
yellowed letter, out of which a dried sakura petal
fell onto her palm. Her heart was pounding as she began reading the letter
which was written in dark blue ink in her mother’s flowing handwriting.
My dearest Sakura, at age 16,
My darling daughter—your name
is Sakura, right? I always knew I wanted name my first daughter Sakura. So,
Sakura, I can’t imagine how lovely you will be—I wish I can see you all grown
up, wearing your school uniform. Maybe you will even have a boyfriend, but if
you don’t, don’t worry. The right person will definitely come some day. Okaa-san is sixteen and doesn’t even have a boyfriend yet!
But today, I met your father at the Tsukimine shrine. How do I know he will be
your father, Sakura-chan? It’s just one of those womanly instincts, I guess. Do
you want to know how I met him? Maybe you heard the story already. I fell out
of the sakura tree and landed right on him. And he
told me, “I thought an angel fell from the sky.” At that moment, I knew he was
the one for me, that I wanted to marry him. Who is he? His name is Kinomoto
Fujitaka-sensei—it turns out he’s a student teacher for my class. He has the
kindest smile I’ve ever seen in my life, but I am sure you know him very well.
He probably will be a wonderful father.
Sakura, I have so many things
I want to tell you, so many things I want to do with you, share with you. I
grew up without a mother—so I’m afraid I will be a hopeless mother. I don’t
know how to cook, sew or keep house. But I’ll try my best. I grew up by myself,
so I’ve always wanted a daughter and a son. My eldest son will be named
Touya—aren’t peach blossoms so fragrant and lovely? I hope my son takes after
Kinomoto-sensei, because he’s tall, athletic and so intelligent, unlike me.
Your brother will watch out for you so that you don’t get lonely. And you must
look after Touya-kun and make sure he doesn’t get lonely either. Both of you
have to look after your father, but with you two, he would not be as sad when I
am not there.
My beautiful, beautiful
Sakura, you don’t know how much I wish I can watch you grow up and give you this
letter in person. But I don’t think I’ll be able to do that. Don’t ever think I
left you, Sakura, because I’ll always be watching over you. You may think it
strange, but okaa-san has a strange gift. I can see
things that other people can’t. Maybe you and Touya have inherited this gift
from me, maybe you haven’t. Today, when I met Kinomoto-sensei, I had a flash of
your face for the very first time. You had my eyes. You don’t know how glad I
was, how joyful. Maybe this gift is also a curse in that I can see my end
coming near—if I can just see you grow up just enough so that you can remember
me, I will ask for nothing more. But don’t feel sad if you don’t remember my
face, my voice or my touch. When you close your eyes and feel a wind upon your
brows, it is my lips kissing your forehead. When your temperature has cooled
after high fever, it is my hand stroking your cheeks. When you are waylaid and
lost and finally find your path again, it is my steps guiding yours.
There are many wiser than me
in the world, and at this young age, I have nothing to leave you, dear Sakura,
but a sixteen-year-old’s words on love. I cannot
pretend to know any more than I actually do, but what I know with certainty is
that when all else fails you, Sakura, trust your heart. And trust the ones that
have always been by your side. There are times in life when you are afraid of
trusting, and you end up losing chances. Life is too brief, too transitory to
miss a given opportunity simply because you cannot allow your heart to trust.
You cannot return to the past, you can’t undo what is already done. All you can
do is continue looking forward. So, Sakura, grow up to be a magnificent, lovely
young lady. But most importantly, all I want for you is to be able to be
confident in who you are, Sakura. Never lose your smile, for at the end of a
storm will come a rainbow. I will always watch over you, my darling daughter. I
love you.
One last word to leave to you…
Things may seem confusing for you at the moment, but everything will be
revealed in its own time. Seek for the Eye of the Dragon, and you will find
answers.
- Amamiya Nadeshiko, age 16
Tears were rolling down Sakura’s face, but she was
careful not to drop them onto this precious letter. The words of her mother at
age sixteen—at that young age, she knew so much. She already knew who she would
marry, what she would name her children, what she would teach her daughter.
Sakura was now sixteen, and she felt like she knew nothing.
“You can’t possibly have
completed your spring break homework, Sakura,” Touya commented on the last of
spring break. They were on their way to the Tsukimine Shrine.
“I did—Tomoyo-chan and I
completed everything yesterday at the library,” replied Sakura smugly.
“And you didn’t even ask
for my help, Kaijou.” The old pet name slipped from his lips unintentionally.
“Of
course not. I can’t always be dependant on you,
onii-chan, can I?” Sakura ran up to the shrine gates. “Ah, it’s the Tsukimine
Shrine. I haven’t been here in a long time.”
“Why did you want to come
here, anyway?” Touya asked, gazing around the familiar shrine. This was where
he had first met Kaho. She had been like a forest sprite, her long hair loose
over her shoulders, her eyes a delightful marigold hue.
“Ah, this tree is always
the same,” Sakura said, standing before the largest sakura
tree, so brilliantly pink that it seems like rose quartzes hung from the
branches. “It’s the prettiest tree in all of Tomoeda. And it never changes.
Every year, year after year, it blooms the most beautiful flowers.”
“True. People come and go,
but this tree seems to stand there watching over us all. It never leaves. It
only waits for people to come back,” Touya replied, placing a hand on the tree
bark, expressing his greeting.
Sakura lowered her head and
clasped her hand together.
“What are you doing?” he
asked his younger sister with a slight smile.
“Making a
wish.”
“What are you wishing?”
“It’s a secret,” replied
Sakura. She knelt down and kept her head lowered, her hair hiding her face.
“Sakura?” Touya paused for a while.
She did not answer. “Are you crying?”
Her voice was muffled by
her hands. “This will be my last time. Tomorrow, I’ll be fine. But just for
today, let me cry.”
Awkwardly, Touya patted
little sister on the back. What words could he say to a grown girl who had
experienced heartbreak for the first time? When she was a kid, he could give
her a lollipop and that would stop the tears. Back when he was a teenager, he
thought being an adult would solve all the problems of the world. But now that
he was older, he felt the older he got, the more useless he became.
“Gomen. I’m all right now, ‘nii-chan,” said Sakura between quiet sobs. “Really.”
“It’s okay. Cry all you
want for today. The old sakura trees will take your
tears from you and fill you with tranquility and peace,” Touya told her in a
gentler tone than he had ever used on her before.
Wiping the tears from her
eyes, Sakura looked up at her brother. “You seem to have experience?”
“Humph.”
Sakura gazed at the braches
laden with pink flowers, her mother’s favorite. Okaa-san, is this what it feels like to send away
the person that is most important to you? Is this how you felt when Ryuuren-san
left? Or was it even more painful for you? Did you already know it was going to
end before it even began? Or did you think, that maybe, maybe you would be
lucky. Maybe you might be the one in a million to defy the odds. Okaa-san, tell me, what am I supposed to do now? I thought
surely when I found someone I truly liked, I would also be the most important
person to him. But I guess I was wrong. How can someone so dear and so familiar
feel like a complete stranger when I see him in a different city? Okaa-san, I won’t be selfish. I want to wish for him to
return to me. But I won’t ask for that. Please, just let him be
safe and healthy. Let him be happy where he is. Because I know he should be
with his family. I know he was born to do great things, and I won’t stand in
his way. She wiped away the trickle of tears with her sleeve and stood up,
sniffling.
“Sakura?” Touya blinked. His sister
was smiling at him.
“I’m really okay now. Let’s
go back and eat dinner,” Sakura said. “You’re right. This tree does seem to
have some magical calming ability. I’m feeling better now.”
“Thanks you, old sakura tree,” Touya murmured. The branches seemed to shake
even if there was no wind. For a split second, he had the vision of black
haired fifteen year old boy crying by the side of the tree, for the loss of his
first love, the demure woman who he had met at that shrine, only to find her to
be the student teacher of his homeroom class. Back then, he thought he had met
his fated one. But one year later, she announced she would return to England
without giving any consideration for his feelings. If he closed his eyes, he
could still hear her bell-like voice, her face radiant under the full moon. She
had been wearing a new blue kimono just for him.
"It's
been a year since you told me you loved under this tree. I really loved
you too, Touya."
"Why
are you speaking in the past tense?"
"Let's say good-bye now... The
next time we meet, you'll have someone else you'll be in love with, and so will
I. And we’ll become really good friends."
And with the same smile she
had when she first greeted him, she left him. At that time, he thought he could
not love again, but strange enough, the heart did heal. He watched Sakura walk
out of the shrine, her steps slightly lighter than they were when she entered
the place. All this while, he thought that he could protect Sakura from feeling
the same kind of hurt he had felt. Yet, such things were not under his control.
Sakura had to experience happiness and pain, joy and sorrow, and learn to stand
up again on her own. He could not do it for her. “That’s what you want to tell
me, isn’t it, okaa-san? That I have to let her grow
up,” he spoke out loud, as was old habit. And the wind ceased, leaving his
heart in peace for the first time in months. He followed his sister’s steps, on
their way home again.
As Sakura walked back out
onto the path, she gazed up at all the brilliance of the cherry blossoms lining
the long path leading from Tsukimine shrine. Petals blew about everywhere and
the air was sweet with the scent of sakura blossoms.
Spring had come late this year, but it had finally arrived. Though he was no longer here, the seasons still
changed and time still passed. Even if he was no longer here, she found the
flowers as beautiful as before and their scent just as fragrant. Even if he was
no longer here, the sky was just as bright and the sunlight just as warm. Even
if he was no longer here, she could still live on. And the days would pass by.
Then maybe, someday, she would be able to think of him again, without hurting.
Then, she would be able to
lift her head up with a smile and say, “Li Syaoran, I loved you, once.”
Later that night, Sakura
gently opened the music box she and Syaoran had won during the Best Couple
Contest last summer. The tinkling melody of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake
brought about a bout of nostalgia for warm weather and sunshine. Inside it, she
set Subaru’s note. She then reread the last lines of her mother’s letter to
her.
Sakura, trust your heart. And
trust the ones that have always been by your side. There are times in life when
you are afraid of trusting, and you end up losing chances. Life is too brief,
too transitory to miss a given opportunity simply because you cannot allow your
heart to trust. You cannot return to the past, you can’t undo what is already
done. All you can do is continue looking forward. So, Sakura, grow up to be a
magnificent, lovely young lady. But most importantly, all I want for you is to
be able to be confident in who you are, Sakura. Never lose your smile, for at
the end of a storm will come a rainbow. I will always watch over you, my
darling daughter. I love you.
Gently, she set down the
yellowed envelope containing her mother’s words as a sixteen year old. She also
set down the sakura-petal shaped watch that Syaoran
had given her for Christmas. The hands of the time had stopped at 9 A.M., the
time that she last saw Syaoran in Hong Kong. Lastly, she set down the broken
diamond necklace wrapped in soft cloth, into the music box. As Sakura shut the
lid, she felt as if she was shutting away a part of her heart and childhood,
forever.
******
Syaoran, can you hear me? I didn’t think you can. I guess it doesn’t
matter anymore, since I won’t be able to see you again. Good bye those blissful
days that I spent with you. Every day, I try to think less of you. But I guess
it’s not working.
So, this was how it was going to wind up. Did you hear the sound of my
heart shattering, like that glass door you broke, when you walked away from me
that chill morning in Hong Kong? No, your back was to me, so you probably
didn’t see the tears I cried not because you didn’t even pause when you heard
my voice, but because I realized that this really was the end. You walked
towards your path, and I’ll some how have to find my own. I don’t think I miss
you yet because I still haven’t realized that you have walked out of my life
forever. It feels like I can wake up and run down the hallway and find you in
your room, just the way you were during the summer, always there, always… It’s
too late for regrets, isn’t it? So many things to tell you that I never got a
chance to… No, just one thing I needed to say to you that I couldn’t. Syaoran,
you told me that I would one day find my most important person. But can you
tell me what can I do when I’ve already lost him?
I told myself when I went to Hong Kong that I won’t be selfish, that I
won’t cling to you. I just want you to be happy and safe, where ever you are,
what ever you’re doing. If I can be guaranteed that at least, I think I will be
able to go on, somehow.
Yet, what is this emptiness inside of me? It’s because I’ve lost you,
isn’t it? But in losing you, I have gained a very somber knowledge, the weight
of what you truly meant to me.
So, good bye, my most important person.
Sayonara, Syaoran…
“Yesterday’s Letter – Hontou no Ichiban” Trailer
Chapter 53: Yesteray’s
Letter – Sakura and Syaoran Fanart
***********************************************************************************************
Wish-chan: (November, 2007 edited version)
“Who is my most
important person?” The age-old question Sakura struggles with in Season Three
of Card Captor Sakura. The theme of this chapter is obviously, “Hontou no ichiban,” literally translated, “My number one
person.” My favorite CCS anime episode was that episode, 66, if you can’t tell,
and it’s a hard pick because CCS is such a fabulous anime with superb episodes
and characters. In this chapter, I tried to come to a full cycle with the
events of Episode 66, because that single episode contained probably one the
most moving and touching scenes I’ve ever seen in my life. That’s when I
realized how much young Sakura and Syaoran had grown over the course of the 70
episodes. Who would think they are merely ten year olds? All the magic,
costumes and cuteness makes CCS probably one of the most delightful shoujo animes ever, but then, the
characters portray so much emotion and development that make it resonant and
human. If I could have capture half that in this chapter, than I have done what
I can.
Well, what an
emotionally draining chapter to write! Many things happening
to make way for the final arc of New Trials. I’m sort of glad it took me
this long to get to this point of the story, because I don’t think I could have
handled writing it back when I was thirteen. Some of these scenes are scenes I
replayed over and over again in my mind, waiting for the moment I could include
them in the story—and there are more storylines to come that I’ve been waiting
years to get to. Is it any assurance to tell you this chapter is still less
gloomy than I had anticipated? I’m a bit sad I can’t give Rika’s arc more
development, but I can’t help it since her scenes occur sort of off-screen. I
think I mentioned before that in New Trials, I leave enough room for other
things to be happening. And maybe I can fill in things in the future if I feel
like it—and Rika would get her own Special Chapter. But she’s not that high up
on the queue of characters who need their own specials
at this point. This is another example of a chapter that grew twice as long as
I intended—Syaoran’s POV wasn’t supposed to be included in this chapter at all,
but I thought that would be too mean to have to wait till the next arc to find
out what happened to him, thus I included the Epilogue. >.< So, this was
the first magic-void chapter thus far (I think)… I guess I wanted to focus on
the human aspect of things, without the powers, the messy ancestral business
and all the battles. I guess lots of build up for the next arc. Wouldn’t it be
cruel if I ended here and said, “The End?” Lol…
The title comes
from a 98 Degrees song that I used to be like a lot of the same name. (Good old
days when boy bands were good.) I guess this wallpaper finally makes sense now:
http://wishluv.revolutionhosting.net/ssseawallpaper.jpg
I was also very inspired by this quote from a Japanese drama call “Long Love
Letter,” which actually is not a romantic drama at all by a supernatural sci-fi
one. Anyhow, it went along the lines of, “A letter can transcend time because
it is written in the present but conveys a message to someone in the future.”
Kind of like a time capsule, I guess. And I may be making the quote up from my
memory, but it’s something along those lines.
To commemorate
completing this chapter, I have made a special New Trials Trailer that took me
a month and a half to put together. Since I used to get lots of comments about,
“I wish New Trials was an anime…” I made a trailer for Chapter 53 – “Yesterday’s Letter
– Hontou no Ichiban” Trailer which is sort of a montage of one of the
scenes. ^_^ You can find it here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=MSoe6K5yTis
I put a lot of effort into it and drew many of the pictures when I had downtime
at work. All the Hong Kong photos except the night one were taken by me when I
visited Hong Kong. The first half is a flashback of Episode 66, “Sakura and Her Number One Person.” In
reflection, the title of the episode might initially indicate Yukito-san, but I
think by the end, we actually realize it meant Syaoran. Enjoy!!!
And check out
the CCS New Trials AMV –
Sakura Drops that elliray has made with the song
I envisioned to be an ideal Opening song for NT. Makes you feel nostalgic.
>.<
Special thanks
to Amethyst Beloved (who uploads these chapters up on fanfiction.net) for
making chapter summaries of ALL the chapters as well as awesome appendices. It
makes life easier for those who don’t want to reread fifty-something chapters
to find out when something happened.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3768889/1/New_Trials_Chapter_Summaries_by_Amethyst_Beloved
Heck, it was a
good refresher for me because after writing thousands of pages of New Trials,
every time I write a new chapter, I need to return back to old chapters to
double check my facts, because I’m growing old and forgetful. Also thanks to Kirei Blossom for compiling a list of all the new Sakura
Cards—I couldn’t keep track of them myself. Very thorough
list. ^_^.
Please
join the best source of news for New Trials and other Card Captor Sakura
related stuff at the most awesome ring with the most awesome group of people: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/newtrialsring/
and check out my semi-updated website at http://wishluv.revolutionhosting.net/
or wishluv.com
And please email
me at hopeluvpeace@hotmail.com It is YOUR feedback that has fueled me for the past eight
years. Thank you! (And now that I have finished a chapter, I can catch up with
replying to emails… Gomen, I know I’m bad about
replies, but I read every single email with delight.)
I still can’t
believe we’ve made it this far. So concludes the Third Arc of New Trials. Thank
you for staying through all these chapters! See you in Arc Four!